Page 66 of Ice Block
My pulse races at the mere thought of loving her. I run my hand down my face, lowering my chin in defeat. “She is the most captivating woman I’ve ever met. I can’t even describe what it is about her. She’s all-consuming. Overwhelming. Chaos incarnate. But, even if you’re right, what if I can’t love her? What if I don’t know how to love her like she deserves to be loved?”
“That’s something I can’t help you with, honey. But trust me when I say this,” Kristi pats her hand on top of mine, “you have it in you to love her.”
I swallow hard as her words sting and soothe my aching chest all at once.What if she’s right?
“I see it inside you, Vladimir. I see it with my special hockey mom powers. During all the games I’ve sat through in my life, you know what I got really good at? Reading people. Being a hockey mom is thebestpeople watching there is. Watching the players on the team, the other parents in the stands, the siblings running back and forth from the concession stand, the refs, the coaches, all of it. I can tell you what shot someone’s going to take on you in a shootout better than you can.” I arch a brow, the corners of my mouth twitching, but Kristi doesn’t seem phased.Once again, she may beright.“And you know what I’ve noticed watching you all these years? The way you love all of those around you. The way you care for everyone, looking out for all of them with a ruthless intensity. The wisdom and leadership you give to your teammates on and off the ice. I know you like to come across as the big, bad broody goalie, but I know that’s not what’s in here.” She points her finger at my chest as something soft and aching settles over me.
“I want to…I want to keep her safe. I don’t know how.”
“Give yourself some credit, sweetheart. Look at all you’ve accomplished! If anyone can figure this out, you can. It may take some time, but you’ll work it all out in that noggin of yours. You have a big heart. Don’t forget it needs to be filled up with love just as much as you pour it out.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Vladimir Volkov, are you questioning me? Don’t make me smack you upside the head here in paradise!” she says with a forced scowl.
“I would never question you, Kristi. Thank you for your words of wisdom.”
“Now give me a hug; I have to go get back to my other son,” she says, wrapping me in her arms the way only a mother can. I take a moment to absorb everything. The tightness that started in my chest the night we met is no longer paralyzing me. My heart beats strong and steady – the blood rushing through me is overwhelming and calm all at the same time. The truth crashes over me like a wave I never saw coming—like a rare puck a defender missed, slipping past and catching me by surprise. Everything everyone has said to me, everything I’ve been fighting without realizing…they’re right.
I love Magdalina James.
Warmth spreads through me like kindling that’s finally caught fire. I fucking love her more than I ever thought possible. She cameinto my world and shattered everything I thought I wanted in life, putting me back together piece by piece. The ache in my heart when she’s not here is familiar. I’ve felt it every day since I lost my mother, a longing to see her once more.What I wouldn’t do to make that happen.And now? My Magdalina is right here, one floor down in another room, and my heart longs for her to be closer. I don’t think it will ever not long for her. It hasn’t stopped since the gala all those months ago.
The crushing weight of reality pulls me down from the high. I still don’t know how to get past the demons inside me. I don’t rememberanythingafter pulling that damn guy off her until I woke up in the medical unit.What if that happens again?How do I keep her safe? How do I keep myself from going to prison if I accidentally kill someone next time? I really need to get out of this heat and back on the ice, back to my place of peace and comfort, so I can clear my mind and figure this out.
But there’s no time for figuring out my life right now. I have best man duties to attend to. Larsy deserves a wonderful wedding, and I’m going to ensure that happens. I shake my head as I stand, trying to focus on the day’s events. But as much as I try and set it aside, the thoughts gnaw at me from the inside out, bubbling up to the surface and threatening to boil over.
What the fuck do I do now?
43
maggie
After everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours, I should be full of panic, fear, and worry. I should be freaking the fuck out. But my sick and twisted mind can only focus on one thing.Vladi looks sexy as fuck in that suit.Heat curls around inside me as my mind wanders back to the night we met when he wore a tux. How he was on his knees eating me out in a damn tux. And now we’re standing on a beach, on opposite sides of the altar, watching our best friends get married. My thoughtsshouldbe on them. I should be standing here, holding my best friend’s bouquet as she and Hayes exchange rings, my heart gushing with overwhelming happiness for them. And while I amveryhappy for them, I can’t keep my eyes off the man standing beside the groom.
The man literally almost murdered someone for me.
Vladi beat that guy’s face to a pulp.For me. I should be terrified, I should be afraid of the rage I saw him unleash, but for some reason, as the events are all finally setting in, I’m…turned on. The long dress I’m wearing hides the sight of my thighs squeezing together. A full shiver runs down my spine, knowing he waswilling to do anything to protect me. I’m a strong, badass bitch, and I don’t need to be rescued. But that doesn’t mean it’s not nice to have a guy in my corner to beat the living fuck out of someone who would try to hurt me.
“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride,” the minister says as the happy couple kisses. Olivia looks back at me with a giant grin on her face as I hand her back her bouquet. “Ladies and gentlemen, please clap your hands for Mr. and Mrs. Larson!”
The applause echoes in my ears, but my gaze is locked onhim. I bite the inside of my cheek, realizing he hasn’t moved his from mine either. It’s almost like deja vu. Yesterday was painfully perfect. Until it wasn’t. And while I’ve been present physically, my mind’s been elsewhere. I spent this entire ceremony trying not to think about the one thing that’s been pestering me like a little troll with a hammer inside my head.Can we figure this out and move forward together?
We haven’t talked anymore about what went down. He just held me tightly, caged in his arms all night. I had to get up to use the restroom at one point, but I was too paralyzed to say anything. I stayed there so long I almost pissed in the damn bed before I finally got the courage to wiggle out from his grip. When I came back, he was wide awake, watching my every move until I was able to curl up next to him, where he pulled me in even tighter.
After he woke up screaming bloody murder, I almost lost it. Watching him struggle to breathe after getting pulled off the skeevy captain. Watching him spiral. Watching him transform back into the scared seven-year-old boy left on the street. I just wanted to make sure he knew, without a doubt, he did keep me safe. That he knew this incident with me, what happened with his mom, none of that was his fault.
But now, I feel like a can of worms was opened—and I’m afraidit can’t be shut. His constant need to make sure I’m safe. He insisted on walking me to the room where all the ladies were getting ready this morning. One floor away from our room. I only protested for a moment, understanding the gravity of what he’s dealing with. Then he texted twice to make sure I was still there and remind me to let him know if we were moving locations so he could escort me. My throat tightens as I take a rough swallow. How do I help him and not feel under constant watch?
There’s only one thing that helps me shove down these overwhelming feelings—my lust for this man. He walks toward me, flashing me a smile I’ve never seen on him before. It’s gentle yet noticeably more possessive. I smile back as he extends his arm to me. Placing my hand around his bicep, I rub the thick muscles beneath his jacket as his scent engulfs me. Even here, his citrus and amber fragrance makes my knees go weak. I lean into him even more than I did yesterday, nearly touching my face to his jacket. Johnny flashes me a wink as we walk past him while the other guests clap and cheer for our friends.This man has me in a full-on chokehold.He takes his free hand, placing it over mine and sending a spark through me that has me aching to climb him like a koala bear on a tree right here on the beach.I need him. Now.Damn these maid of honor duties keeping me from grabbing him and taking him directly back to our room to fuck the ‘whatever the hell happened last night’ out of our systems.
After drinks, lots of speeches, toasts, peach pie, and ice cream, it’s time for the couple’s first dance. I sit at the head table, knocking back my glass of champagne as the breeze from the nighttime ocean air flits across my face. My heart swells as I watch Hayes and Liv take the floor, gliding around like they were meant to be together. And dammit…they were.They are so perfect. In every way.I tilt my head in awe of the love story I was lucky enough to witness. I know everyone’s path is different, and theirs is definitely notmine. That’s not me, and that’snotVladi. And yet…sometimes there’s beauty in imperfections. Could we have an imperfectly perfect life together?
I bite my lip as a familiar scent pulls me out of my thoughts, his warm presence beside me.
“Would you like to dance, Magdalina?”
My heart races as he reaches out to me.He’s askingmeto dance.With him. I smile, placing my hand in his as he effortlessly pulls me from my chair and guides me toward the other couples already out on the floor. Spinning me around to face him, he holds one of my hands in his, the other hand firmly placed on the small of my back, pulling me in so damn close. As we sway back and forth surrounded by the people who mean the most to us, he doesn’t seem to care that they see us together, and that sends thousands of butterflies fluttering away in my stomach.
