Page 63 of Ice Block
I collapse on the bed with Kara, the heaviness of what’s just taken place hitting me like a thousand-pound weight slamming into my chest. I’m numb. Stuck. Frozen. I can’t help but ugly cry, all the fear and panic overwhelming me, as she just sits and holds my hand like the good friend she is. Olivia fought to stay with me, but Kara and I insisted she go rest up for her big day. I know she wants to be here, but I don’t want to ruin it any more than it already is.
“Oh, Maggie,” Kara says, moving to look me straight in the eye and giving me no option but to stare blankly back. “Honey, are you sure you’re okay? Did he hurt you at all?”
“No,” I sniff through my tears, “I’m honestly fine. My head hurts like hell, but I’ll be okay. I’m just more worried about…” I can’t even spit it out, I burst into tears again, unable to even catch my breath.
“Vladi’s going to be okay. Most likely, he’s having a panic attack. My mom used to have bad ones, and that’s what it was like.”
“A panic attack? But I…he…Oh God, it’s my fault. I did this to him!”
She grips my hand a little tighter, rubbing my back with the other. “Maggie…you didn’t do this! This is all that damn douchebag’s fault.”
“He wanted to walk me to the bathroom, and I said I was fine. Iinsistedhe sit next to Hayes and wait. But he was right…he’s always fucking right. And then he…his mom…I causedthe panic attack!”
“Oh, honey,” Kara whispers, pulling me in for a hug. “You didn’t do any of this. Why would you make him have a panic attack? And what does this have to do with his mom?”
My stomach twists so hard, bile burns my throat. I shove her away, the guilt of what happened with Vladi claws at my aching heart, the memory of what happened making my skin crawl. It’s all churning into something sick and horrible. I feel like I can’t escape. “He was with his mom when she died. He couldn’t save her. But hedidsave me. He pulled that jackass off me and beat him within an inch of his life. Forme.But I know it brought all that back for him. I…” My eyes burn as I curl into myself, “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I just had to pee,” I mumble as Kara lets out a small laugh, providing a break from the intensity of tonight.
“Maggie. He did this because he loves you. You know that, right?”
I shake my head, my mind insisting this will not end well. “He’s going to hate me now.”
She looks me dead in the face. “He willneverhate you. I promise. It’s going to be okay. Let’s just try and get some rest. Here,” Kara stands up and grabs me a shirt and shorts from the drawer. “Why don’t you go take a shower; that always makes me feel a little better. And it’ll help kill a little time before we get an update.”
“Okay.” I take the clothes and shuffle into the bathroom. The shower helps a little, soothing my skin and burning away Carlos’ imprint, but it does little to help the rest of me. The sobs and tears are still here, but now they melt alongside the water running down me.I did this to him.I feel fucking awful—awful that I didn’t listen.How hard would it have been to let him escort me to the restroom?!Fuck me and my damn stubborn self. But…I never could have imagined this would have happened. And now all I’m worried about ishim. I’m sure they’ll get his breathing under control. But…what happened tonight? Will it happen again? Will he be able to see me as someone who doesn’t need saving? This was his worst fear realized, and my heart sinks into the pits of despair knowing I fucking let it happen. For just a moment, everything was so perfect. Hopeful. Right. And now Melissa Joan Heart is dragging herself down a long hallway, shuffling into a hibernation room, and settling in for a long stay. I’m not sure if she’ll ever wake up.
40
maggie
Ijolt up in bed, my mind blank and panicked, and having no fucking clue where I’m at. My heart is racing like I just woke up late for work. I’m still at the resort, but this room looks different. Feels different. I hear mumblings of ‘not going to press charges’ and ‘stable condition’.Shit. I must have fallen asleep. I wake fully to murmurs of Zack and Kara talking. Talking to…Vladi. MyVladi.
I race out of bed to run into his arms, squeezing him tighter than I’ve ever hugged anyone in my life. I’m afraid he won’t even hug me back. But the ache I haven’t been able to shake for the past few hours is quickly soothed when his arms band around me just as tightly.
“Magdalina,you’re okay?” he whispers as he holds my head to his chest. His warmth, his scent, finally loosening the tightness in my chest, allowing me to take in a deep breath.
“Yeah,” I mumble into his bloodied, ripped shirt, “I’m okay. Are you?” I feel his thumb rubbing circles on my back as he continues holding me with the full power of his muscular arms. In any othersituation I would feel suffocated, but right now, I want him to hold me like this forever.
“Yes. I’m okay. My hand hurts like hell, but other than that, I’m fine,” he says, placing a kiss on my forehead. His fingers tremble against my cheeks –he is anything but fine. But having him here, having him in my arms, is a start.
“Thank you for taking care of her.” His voice echoes through his chest, my head still buried against him as he acknowledges our friends. “We’ll see you all in a few hours.” He pulls back slightly, his hand cupping my cheek. “Come, let’s go home.”
Warmth blooms in my chest.Home.I’m not sure if that was a slip of the tongue or if he really meant to say that. God, if only our hotel room washome. If only arguing over the thermostat was our only worry. If only there was no bad guys, no stupid boat captains who can’t take a fucking joke, or no for an answer for that matter, and no ruined perfectly beautiful nights. A place where we could just order room service, have mind-blowing sex, give each other shit, and call each other the most ridiculously adorable nicknames.
My stomach clenches at the reality of what’s coming. The reality I’m fucking scared to face. I don’t know what’s going through his head. He needs to talk about it.Weneed to talk about it. But…I’m not sure if there even is a ‘we’ at this point. I’m glad we’re both physically okay, but recovering from the emotional tsunami that just happened is going to be a bitch.
We step back into our room. Vladi slips his shoes off and neatly places them on the shelf in the closet. I stand in the middle of the room. Frozen. My gaze unable to move from the thermostat. The numbers that have been at war all week now sit in limbo at sixty-seven degrees. The weight of what’s happened settles in my gut. I don’t know if things are about to heat up or cool down.
I bite the inside of my lip, twisting my hands together in a stupid attempt to calm my nerves and figure out how to start thisconversation. Do I start it? Should I wait for him to say something?What is he thinking?But it doesn’t last long, as his deep voice breaks through the silence.
“Magdalina, I’m sorry.”
“Vladi…wait, what?” I narrow my brows, tilting my head to the side. “No…I’m sorry. I’m so sor?—”
“Don’t,” he places a finger on my lips, the gesture a gentle reminder of how his touch soothes me. “Don’t apologize. I’m the one who needs to do that.”
“What do you have to apologize for? You were right. Captain Car-” I stop myself, bile rising in my throat. I can’t even bring myself to say his name anymore. “He was bad news. You were right. And I feel so awful I didn’t listen…and?—”
“But you are okay? Did he hurt you? Did he…” he pauses, and I see rage swirling as a violent storm in his eyes, “Did hetouchyou?” he growls, cracking his knuckles.
