Page 71 of Pope's Penance

Water fills my eyes and I curl my arms around myself.“Tell me you didn’t cheat on me because you thought it was keeping me safe.”

“I didn’t cheat on you,” he growls, stepping closer.

“Really?You didn’t have another woman grinding on your dick?One with her tits right in your face?What were your words to her, Pope?Show me that pussy?”

“I didn’t fuck her.”

Lifting my hand, I cover my mouth and laugh while rolling my eyes.“Oh, you sweet summer child.You really think the only way to cheat on someone is to stick your dick in them?The denial is strong with you, huh?I bet you’ve told yourself that for the last seven years, haven’t you?”

I straighten my shoulders and clasp my hands together tightly in front of me.It’s that or I punch this fucker in his betraying ass mouth.“Let me just make sure I have this right.Instead of bringing me on board, instead of telling me that my life was in danger, you elected to break my heart to,” I pause and lift one of my hands to put the next words into finger quotations, “protect me.And the way to really hammer it home was to do it with one of the club girls I considered a best friend.Did I miss anything?”

Anguish flashes in his normally non-expressive eyes, but it doesn’t stop him from answering me honestly.“Yeah.Your brother and all the council members knew about the plan.”

Though his words were something I already expected, it doesn’t stop them from digging deep and hurting me even more.

“What the fuck, Pope?”Cyanide roars.

“Oh, dear brother of mine.Don’t pretend to care now.You could have told me this when you wanted to clear the air between us.Yet, once again, you put the clubandPope before me.Careful, Cyanide.You’re liable to turn into our dad with all that lying.”

I turn to face the crowd of Saint’s Outlaws, my eyes drifting across all the faces.Some familiar, others new.So many of them from that night.My eyes move from them to the ol’ ladies.Judging from the horror and anger on some of their faces, there were a few who didn’t know.Scorch and Coco, two of the women I was closest with outside of Diamond, watch me with sadness and regret.

“You both knew why he did it?”I address them.

They scoot closer to me, but I take a step back, and they stop.

“I didn’t know when it was happening,” Scorch says.“I didn’t find out until later that night.Munch didn’t come out unscathed, Birdie.I was so, so angry at him for a long time.I’m so sorry for the hurt this club caused you.I lost a good friend that night and I’ve felt the hole in my heart every day since.”

Unsure of what to say, I just nod and turn to Coco.

“Same as Scorch.I knew nothing about it.Monster refused to speak about it for a while.Not until he caught me crying one night because I missed you and I was threatening to come kick Pope’s ass.I was a bitch to people for a long time for what they did.What I was unintentionally a part of.I’m sorry.This club hasn’t been the same since you left.”

I blow out a breath as I stare at them.“This is what I’m struggling with, though.Even if you didn’t know it was a show, you were still in there with him while he was cheating on me.You were supposed to be my friends.I would have never been okay with Monster or Munch cheating on you all.I definitely wouldn’t have participated.I accept your apologies, but I don’t know.I just don’t know if I can be friends with people who accept the man I love betraying me with another woman.”

Their men come to them, wrapping their crying frames in their muscular arms.Their jaws work and I know they want to snap at me for hurting their ol’ ladies, but they keep their mouths shut.They need to accept the roles they played in my betrayal.

They all do.

“I lost so many years with people I considered family because all of you made a heartbreaking decision about my life instead of giving me the opportunity to do it.You took away my choice, my voice.And that’s the worst thing you can do to anyone.”I turn to Pope and refuse to hide the tears dripping down my face.“You know, I’m disappointed with all of you more than anything.I trusted you.All of you, but especially you.I trusted that you all would always have my back against anything.All it took was a threat and instead of having my back, you all made me run out with a broken heart.Because that was the intention, wasn’t it?To make me run.You knew Valkyrie would follow me.I’ve lived through a lot of hell the last five years.I was left with so many physical scars that I lost count of them.You know what scar I didn’t lose count of?The one you left on my heart.It’s deeper than most and it’s the one that hurt the worst.”

Pope falls to his knees, his hands locking behind his head as he stares at me with devastated eyes.

“It won’t fade.It won’t disappear.It’s a seething reminder of what happens when you let someone in.When you let them so deep inside your soul that they own you.It’s a harsh reminder that love fucking hurts.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, little mama,” he chokes out.

Walking up to him, I grip his hair and pull his head back until he’s peering up at me.“I know you are, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.It doesn’t erase what you did.The memories of your hands on my friend don’t just disappear at your apology.They’re always going to be there.I won’t be my mom, Pope.I refuse to be her.”

“Baby, no,” he says, his hands lifting to my hips.“You’re not her.I’m not your dad.I’m not going to cheat on you.”

I lift a brow and his eyes squeeze shut before they open.

Remorse sets deeply inside them.“Again.I won’t cheat on you again.”

Blowing out a breath, I release his hair.“Oh, you beautiful, beautiful beast.That’s what he would always promise, too.”

Then I change the subject, because honestly, I’m tired.Really freaking tired.My soul is fucking exhausted from having to fight so much just to live.

“Where is she?”

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