Page 39 of Pope's Penance

He can be angry at me all he wants, but he needs to take a long look in the mirror and make sure he’s aiming that anger at the right person.

“Thank fuck, you’re okay,” Valkyrie says, wrapping her arms tightly around me after Pope, Manic, and the twins go back outside.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

She leans her head back and stares at me with wide eyes.“Why wouldn’t you be?Maybe because I haven’t heard from you since we got here.I haven’t even seen you!Pope could have been holding you hostage for all I knew.”

“Pope is an asshole, but he is not Frankie.I will never fear him physically hurting me.Emotionally is another story.”

Valkyrie rests her forehead against mine.“It was just like when Frankie kept you from me, though, and it scared me, Dee.”

“I’m sorry.I didn’t consider how this would affect you.Next time, I’ll be sure to at least send you a message.”

Valkyrie pulls away and drags me over to the couch.“There won’t be a next time because nobody is going to keep me from you again.You’re so used to not being allowed to use the phone that it didn’t occur to you that you were free to do it now.”

“Honestly, I keep forgetting that I even have one.I always had to keep the extra one hidden from Frankie and he’d only let me have my main one when it was convenient for him.After a while, you don’t miss what you don’t have.”

“I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me the most.”

I shrug.“You had your own stuff going on, Kyrie.I kept the worst of it hidden from you.I never wanted you to know how bad it had gotten because it scared me to think of what you’d do.I couldn’t have you hurt, too.Frankie would have done it just because you’re identical to me and because I love you.He didn’t like anyone who took my attention away from him.I went through a hell darker than I’d ever put on your shoulders just so I wouldn’t lose Lovelyn and Legend.”

My bounces as my eyes flit around the room, searching for an enemy that is no longer there.

“How are you doing being back here?”Valkyrie asks, changing the subject.

“I’m scared to trust any of them.”

“Even Pope?”

“Especially Pope,” I admit.“It’s hard being surrounded by everyone who betrayed me.This place isn’t good for my heart anymore.Every day I wake up remembering the pain they put me through.”

A small creak comes from somewhere behind us and I jerk in that direction.There’s no one there, but my heart refuses to slow down as I run my eyes everywhere someone could be hiding.

I let out a whimper when Valkyrie grabs my hand.

“It’s okay, Birdie.There’s nothing there.The wind is blowing, so it’s probably just making some noise.”

“Sorry,” I whisper, tucking my chin into my chest and staring down at my hands.

“I think you just need to give it time here.Watch Pope and the others with the kids until your heart tells you it’s safe again.That’s when you’ll know you’re all going to be okay.”

“Pope is great with them.”

Valkyrie tilts her head and regards me.“Who else are you worried about, then?”

“The club girls.Our brother.Gavel.I just don’t know how to let anyone else in, Kyrie.It was hard enough coming to Pope.”

“You’re strong as hell, Dee.You’ve lived through so much evil and look at you now.There’s still a long way to go, but I see peeks of the old Birdie trying to come out of hiding.I have all the faith in the world in you.You’ll work your way through this because,” she pauses and squeezes my hand, “we both know that this place is home.It always has been.You’re going to rise through these ashes, Birdie, and you’re going to take all their motherfucking names.Just like always, I’m going to be right there at your back to take them on with you.I love you, Dee.”

“I love you, too.How are you doing being around Manic again?”

Valkyrie blows out a breath and falls back against the couch.“It’s been fucking torture.He had a whole ass life with someone else while I was gone.I don’t know why it was such a kick to the stomach, but it was.We were friends, but we both acknowledged in our own ways that there was something more there, you know?I never thought he’d settle down.He was so against it.I didn’t expect him to stay celibate, especially since we were nothing, but it was supposed to be me.I was supposed to be the one he settled down with and had his babies with.Devereux is a sweet kid, but it’s so hard seeing them together.”She gets lost in thought, chewing on her bottom lip.“There are pictures in his house of him, Devereux, and Emma.That’s her name, you know.Sweet, just like their little boy.I won’t lie, Dee.I cried in the shower after seeing them together because Manic looked happier than I’d ever seen him.”

“I’m sorry, Valkyrie.This is my fault.If you wouldn’t have left with me, you would have all that now.”

“Don’t take this on.Where you go, I go.I could’ve stayed, but Manic wasn’t ever going to claim me.Our age difference and the fact that I was a fucking ‘club princess’ kept him running like a bitch.”

“I won’t, but I’m sorry you’re hurting.”

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