Page 26 of Pope's Penance

The water pours down over us as I try to shove away the demons chasing her.Her cries peter off until only sniffles remain.The tightness leaves her body, and she melts further into me.

“I hate you,” she says so low that I would have missed it if I didn’t have my cheek resting against her head.

There’s so much damn sadness in her words, it hits deep in my chest.There’s no doubt in my mind that a part of her truly does.

Her wet hair sticks to my mouth when I brush a kiss to the top of her head.“There’s a fine line between love and hate, little mama.You’re only straddling it.”I slide the arm that’s around her up between her tits until the beat of her heart flutters against my palm.“In here is where the truth lies.It speaks for you.”

“Now what?”Birdie asks after a minute or two of silence.

“Now, you fill me in on what happened here.Then I take care of my family.”

Birdie takes a while to speak as she struggles to trust me.I’m a safe space for her physically, but I’m the last person she’d ever consider safe emotionally.

“It wasn’t always bad with him, you know.Not until five years ago.”

Five years ago.

“After I showed up?”

“Yes.It took me the better part of a year to understand that, though.”

I’m not a man who feels guilt or regret often.I make decisions and stand by them regardless of the collateral damage.

Except, it seems, with this woman and the two kids down in the kitchen.

With them, I feel a shitload of it, and it’s disconcerting.

“It happened slowly at first.He was always careful not to do it in front of the kids or leave marks anyone could see.Sometimes, it was his words that left the deepest scars.”

My fingers brush the coolness of the pearls that still hang around her neck.I almost yank them from her, but she must read my mind because her hand lifts to wrap her fingers around them.

“Frankie was great at cutting me down with words.If I had to guess, those are what broke me first.You hear people say that words can never hurt you, but I think the ones who say that have never been on the receiving end of ones meant to tear you down.”

“What happened the day you finally left, Birdie?”

“No,” she whimpers, shaking her head back and forth.

“Shh.Shh.It’s okay, baby.You don’t have to.Let’s get you out of here and in some warm clothes.The twins are probably antsy.What do you say?”

“No more questions,” Birdie demands through chattering teeth.

“For now.”

“Fine,” she whispers.

I place a kiss on the top of her head before climbing to my feet.She warily eyes the hand I hold out to her.Her fingers tighten around those motherfucking pearls before she slowly releases them and places her hand in mine.

The moment I get the chance, I’m snapping those goddamn things from her neck.

A wince crosses her face as I pull her to her feet carefully.My jaw clenches when I get a good look at her naked body.It’s a chaotic blend of black, purple, green, and yellow bruises mixed with scabbed-over cuts.Some form fingerprints, while others shape themselves like a fucking fist.My jaw clenches as I roll my eyes over them, trying to count, but it’s easier to count the spaces not filled with the ugly colors.The details of their placement cement in my mind.There will be a time when I get the chance to create the exact pattern on that motherfucker, and I can’t wait.

Birdie stands as still as a statue while I dry her off.Her fingers continue to toy with those pearls, and my fists clench around the towel as I fight my urge to rip the pearls away.It’ll be a great day if I never have to see a fucking white iridescent orb again.

I grab the sweatpants and squat in front of her.“Hold on to my shoulder so you don’t fall over.”

“You’re soaked,” she murmurs, placing her hand on me.

A shiver overtakes me at the contact.It’s easy to ignore and pretend it’s from the chill rather than a simple craving for her touch.

---