All he can reply with is “Good.”
Always so cold, even when we both know it’s a front. Maybe he thinks it makes him stronger, but even stone crumbles eventually. Steel dings and bends with enough force.
“You’re suffocating me with it.” Cocking his head to the side, Tomasz appraises me. “Fucking hurt me already, please… It’s what you want, isn’t it? You need to punish me?”
A restrained breath quivers through his entire body as his jaw clenches, teeth biting tightly together as his hands blanch with the force of his grip on the belt.
“Hurt,” he growls, deep and quiet enough that it’s coated in warning. “Punish…”
“Yes.” I release my legs and hold on to the edge of the tub, trying to open myself to him and at least appear ready for whatever it is he needs to do so that we can move past this purgatory we’ve found ourselves in.
It’s neither heaven nor hell. There’s no passion, just a vapid void that numbs all the things I used to feel. I’m completely untethered from myself, and I need him to help me fix that. I can’t do it on my own, and Tomasz is the only person I have left. He stuck to his word and came back for me.
When every person I’ve trusted has betrayed me, this monster kept his word. He found me like he said he would. And every time he looks at me with his anger blazing in his eyes, I don’t know whether I want to thank him or scream at him for saving me. I don’t know whether to hate him or love him anymore. All I know is that I’m crashing and burning and drowning without him and his touch and the ferocity he used to taunt me with.
Releasing a sharp breath through gaping lips, Tomasz throws the belt at the corner of the room where the log burner is crackling. Grasping the side of my face roughly, he grimaces down at me with more disdain and fury than I have ever seen in anyone.
“You think it’s enough?” he asks between gritted teeth. “To hurt and punish you?”
Pressing my mouth firmly shut, I don’t reply.
“I showed you the truth. I gave you the answers you needed…” His hand slips down to my neck, faltering for the shortest tick of a second before he grips my throat. His blue eyes glint, ice-cold and unhinged. “I want to smother you when you sleep next to me,” he states with a monotone and harsh hiss. Lowering to a crouch, he levels with me. “I want to pull you under and watch you drown.”
A shiver runs through me at the undeniable honesty of his words. I should be and I am afraid. But it’s not of him. The only fear I have right now is that the hate he feels is stronger than the need and want screaming for him inside me. I’ve been here before…loving someone that will never love me back. I let it dictate my present and future, and it almost got me killed. If it wasn’t for this man, it would have gotten me killed, and from the way Tomasz is looking at me…it still might.
“I want to fucking kill you,” he groans with his thumb raking down the side of my throat. Large, powerful fingers dig into my flesh while his breaths deepen with the flare of his nostrils. “If I could fucking destroy you…”
“You can.”
“After everything I showed you…you ran from me…” Sucking his plump lip into his mouth, he shakes his head as though he is still trying to understand my actions. “And still…still, I can’t kill you because I want to keep you more. Even if the anger I feel when I look at you suffocates me, I can’t let you go.”
The truth hurts. Like. A. Motherfucker. And as it leaves my lips, I know that my life will never be the same. “I don’t want you to let me go.”
There’s only one thing I want right now, and as I hold his stare, my hand moulds to his around my neck, guiding it slowly down my wracking chest as goosebumps break out over my entire body. Rough fingertips set my pores alight while he stares back at me.
Still furious. Still crazed. Still dangerous. And by far the most alluring he’s ever been.
He’s a criminal. A sinner. I’d go as far as a monster. But he is all I want. And right now, it doesn’t matter whether he kills me or keeps me, so long as he devours me with all that fire blazing in his eyes.
Releasing Tomasz’s hand, I grasp the sides of the tub, trying to hold myself still while he continues roving down my belly.
“You want me to make you feel good, Red, but I don’t know how to go easy.”
“Then don’t,” I exhale as his fingertips curl around my pussy, cupping me harshly before removing his hand altogether. “I can beg. I can fight. Tell me what to do…please.”
The conflict in his head storms in his eyes, and like so many times before, they darken with lust while they peruse down my body as I lean back into the water.
“What do you want from me?”
Pensive, Tomasz stands and grabs a towel from the cupboard. It’s as if he’s looking for any excuse to put space between us while he pulls the towel horse closer to the log burner and lays the towel over it. Once he’s done, Tomasz returns to my side, and after a moment, he tempers the handheld showerhead and goes about wetting my hair.
There’s nothing but silence as he shampoos it, working the suds through the lengths in a far-too-gentle manner that goes against every touch he’s ever graced me with. Fingers combing through my hair in quiet strokes, Tomasz works out the knots until he’s done and I’m thoroughly cleaned and bundled in the large bath sheet he warmed for me.
Standing in front of the large four-poster bed that overlooks the back of the house, he sets me down on my feet. Not as gently as before, but as surprising as it was for him to take care of me like that, I like it when he’s a little less tempered. Unhinged and rough look and feel so much better from him. It’s who he is at heart. His soul is dark and stormy, something that indelibly enraptures mine. Even as he turns from me to stand in front of the glass wall looking out to the hot-spring pool and the endless forest that shrinks into the snowy mountain backdrop.
“You know what I want,” he finally speaks. In the setting sun, his reflection is clearer as he finds my stare in the glass. “You know what to do, Lucy.”
My name in his rough, deep baritone rakes through me. And yes, I do. I know what he wants and what I need to do. With the golden light outlining his tall, broad silhouette, it’s impossible to think that he would want or need anything but my surrender. With his hands pushing into the pockets of his dark jeans, the muscles on his back bulge, making him appear bigger. Mightier, even. Every bit the king he is. And I can’t deny him.