Page 97 of Catch You

Until I open my eyes and find the exact image that was just in my head, only now it’s before me as two nurses and a doctor stand beside my aunt.

My heart plummets.

“No,” I cry. “No, please.”

I scramble from the chair and over to the bed. I take her hand in mine. It’s cold, but then it has been since I first arrived here.

“We’re so sorry, Harlow. She’s at peace now.”

“No,” I cry, dropping my head as realization hits me. I’ve been sitting here religiously so that she wasn’t alone, and I was asleep when she needed me the most. A sob rumbles up my throat as I run my eyes over her. She looks so peaceful. As if she’s just drifted off to sleep.

My eyes burn as tears fight to be set free.

Everything around me begins to blur, and my legs start to feel a little funny.

One of the nurses must notice that I’m not doing so well because she races around the bed just in time to catch me when my knees buckle.

“Whoa,” she says softly. “I’ve got you.”

She lowers me back to my chair as I struggle to pull the air I need into my lungs.

“Try to control your breathing, honey. In. Out. In. Out.” I focus on her words, and after a few seconds, things start to come back to me. The room stops spinning.

“Is-is she really gone?”

“I’m so sorry. Is there anyone we can call for you? Your friend, maybe?”

I shake my head. I need a little time alone to try to process this. Brooke will be back later. Nothing will have changed by then. A miracle isn’t likely to happen.

The nurse allows me to stay with my aunt to attempt to say my goodbyes. I have no idea how long they give me; my grasp on reality is long gone. All I know is that when she comes back and softly tells me that they need to do their jobs, it’s not at all long enough.

Although, I’m not sure any amount of time ever will be.

Reluctantly, I tidy up the few bits I have scattered around the room before standing beside my aunt and doing one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life.

I never got the chance to do this with my parents. The social workers decided I was too young to be able to deal with it, so I never got a final goodbye. I was left with the memory of refusing to acknowledge them as they walked out of the house to collect my friends and that stupid birthday cake.

Placing my hand on her cheek, I look down at her peaceful face.

“Sleep t-tight.” My voice cracks, and a sob erupts from my throat.

I back out of the room, not wanting to leave her. Tears streak down my cheeks, but no noise comes from me. I’m too numb.

That all changes when I look up and find Brooke and Reese standing off to the side, waiting for me.

I wail and they both run at me, thankfully catching me before I hit the floor.

“She’s gone,” I cry as they both hold me.

“We know. We’re so sorry.”

We stand there locked in our embrace for the longest time, but eventually, Reese pulls away.

“We should get you home.”

I nod, unable to do anything else. Just moving my legs in the direction of the exit is hard enough.

The journey home is a blur. I feel nothing. Everything is numb.

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