But the man had been away from the house as long as they had, and the eagerness at which he looked at the sandwiches said otherwise. Victor expected to hear the man’s stomach rumble. “When have you last eaten, Tobias?”
“I had a hearty breakfast, sir. His Grace treats us very well.”
The man hadn’t eaten since he’d broken his fast that morning? Not to mention servants rose well before the masters of the household. He had to be hungry.
Although Victor had been born into the aristocracy, Juliana was the one who exhibited nobility through her actions.
Face flushed, Juliana’s head bowed.
Shame, thick and black, coiled around his heart that he had madeherfeel ashamed. For what? Being kind? Caring for others?
Damn the rules of society. He leaned closer, and placing a finger under her chin, lifted it until her eyes met his. “Forgive me. I only meant to guide you to ease your entry into society. There are proper rules of etiquette I urge you to follow when you’re among those in theton. But since it’s only the three of us, let us make an exception. It will be our secret.”
Tears had formed in her eyes, and she blinked them back. “Truly?”
“Yes. Allow me to handle this.” Victor took the plate of sandwiches from Juliana and turned toward Tobias. “I insist, sir. Come, make yourself a plate. You can retire over there, and we shall help ourselves, only calling you if necessary.” Victor pointed at the tree Tobias had claimed as a resting spot earlier.
Warmth spread through Victor’s chest at the man’s surprised—but appreciative—smile. But Tobias’s gratitude didn’t affect him as much as what he witnessed on Juliana’s face.Admiration? Trust? Whatever it was, it shifted something inside him, like sunlight breaking through overcast skies.
And although Victor was pleased he had won favor in Juliana’s eyes, part of him worried he had paved a way to heartbreak for her.
A whirlwindof emotions raced through Juliana: eagerness and excitement to spend time with Victor, embarrassment over her horrible faux pas with Tobias, and elation that Victor had come to her rescue, salvaging the situation and making her feel...she didn’t want to say the word.
Yet, it hung heavy in the air before her. How would she be able to keep her feelings for Victor from showing? Each time he looked at her, her heart melted. He made her feel special. Cared for.
Loved.
Juliana wasn’t a stranger to being loved. Her mother adored her, her father had doted on her, and Drake, for all his bluster and calling her brat, wanted her happiness above all else.
But a family’s love was different from a man who pretended to be a suitor.
And therein lay the issue. Her courtship with Victor was a pretense, employed to spur Juliana’s acceptance into society—and find a suitable husband.
Who wasn’t Victor.
Victor, whose kindness outweighed his handsome face. Victor, who had a purpose in life, who aspired to be more than just a soon-forgotten viscount.
Whatever she felt for Victor had grown too big, too risky, and she dared not name it, for naming it might make it real. She’dbeen teetering on the edge of a precipice for some time, and his kindness had tilted the balance. Was she falling, or simply letting go?
The enormity of her feelings both liberated and restrained her, the juxtaposition of it almost comical if her heart was not at stake. Her affection for him would give credence to their pretense of courtship, but at the same time, she must keep her feelings in check enough so Victor wouldn’t discern the truth. She must walk the fine line between allowing her feelings to show enough, but not too much.
And in doing so, she would guard her own heart from being crushed by Victor’s rejection.
Stretched out on the blanket, Victor nibbled on another orange slice. He grew pensive, studying her with that penetrating blue gaze of his. “Pretend or not, here we are courting, and you asked why I wanted to be an artist, but I never asked you what dreams you have for your future. Do you want more than marriage and children?”
The piece of cheese Juliana had been chewing seemed to lodge in her throat as she swallowed. “If you knew my dream, you would not worry that I would find your dream ridiculous.”
His eyes widened, and he propped himself on one elbow. “Now you must tell me.”
She fingered a loose string on the blanket, not daring to meet his eyes. “It’s not a very ladylike ambition. I had little hope to pursue it before, but now that Drake is a duke...well, it seems impossible. I’ve already embarrassed him enough.”
“You have me too intrigued not to tell me. Please, Juliana. I promise I will keep your confidence.”
Deep inside, she knew shecouldtrust him—not only to keep her confidence but to not laugh. “Well, since you were so brave to share with me, it seems only fair I tell you. As you’re aware, I love horses. When Drake left for the military and until my fatherdied, I continued to help care for the horses on Lord Stratford’s estate. When my father died, we moved near an estate where the owner bred horses, and he allowed me to go riding whenever I wished.”
Victor waited patiently, but from the line forming between his brows, he no doubt wondered where her story was leading.
“He told me I had a good eye for horseflesh. Once, when I was brushing out the mare I had taken out for a ride, he asked me which stallion I would choose to mate with her.”