Page 52 of Finn's Solace

I took a big gulp of water, swallowed, returned the glass to the table, then linked my fingers in my lap before I finally found the courage to start speaking.

"I'm having nightmares again. Bad ones."

Dr. Griffin made a soft sound of sympathy, then leaned forward. "Do you know why they've reappeared now?"

"I think so," I admitted, and when they stayed quiet, I continued, "They started after Dean left for college. They were mostly about him and Penny. But then..."

"Go on," they urged softly, and my latest nightmare flashed through my mind, making me shudder.

"I met someone recently. He—we were held captive together, but he managed to escape. Only they told us he was dead."

"And now you found out he's your mate," Dr. Griffin said, and I blinked, then glanced up at them.

"How did you know?"

"Ah," they said, then gave me a soft smile. "It was easy to guess from the way you talk about him, but I shouldn't be making guesses. I apologize."

My cheeks heated up at their observation, and I ducked my head. Did I really speak differently when I was talking about Levi? That was embarrassing.

"Please, continue. How did it make you feel? Seeing him again when you thought he was dead?"

I thought back to that day in the grocery store, and listed off the emotions I'd felt when I realized who he was. "Shock, confusion, joy, hurt, fear."

"Why hurt?"

I sighed, then shook my head. "It was stupid."

"Finn," they warned, and my lips curved upward.

"Yeah, I know. My feelings aren't stupid. I...before he escaped, he'd promised me that if he ever found an escape, he'd take us with him, or come back for us. When I realized hehadleft but hadn't come back for us..."

Dr. Griffin hummed, then asked, "What changed? From the way you speak of him, I get the feeling you're on better terms now."

My lips tingled from the memory of his kisses, and I couldn't help smiling.

"We are. We talked later. Well, he wrote me a letter, and turns out he did come back for us, but we'd been rescued by then. We've been good since then. We started dating. He's met my family. I'm friends with his familiar. We've been growing closer."

"But?"

I laughed, but it wasn't really a happy sound. "I had a nightmare last week when I was at his place, and I dragged him with me and made him sleep in his closet. He did it too, and he wasn't mad or annoyed or anything."

"Why would you expect him to be mad?"

"Uh, did you miss the part where I said I made him sleep in his closet?"

Dr. Griffin tilted their head, their pale eyes boring into mine. "Does he get mad at you often? Levi?"

I blinked, completely thrown by the question. "What? No! Not at all. He's the most patient man in the world."

"Would you have been mad at him? If he'd had a nightmare and made you do something in reaction to that?"

"No," I answered, and they didn't have to draw me a graph to explain what they were saying. "I haven't been around my birth parents in over sixteen years, and I still expect everyone to react like they would've." My parents had abandoned my siblings and me when I was little more than ten years old, and Dean had been just two.

"It's not easy to just stop reacting that way, but you can learn how to manage those reactions, to remind yourself that there are people who love you, who care about you. Remind yourself they aren't like your parents, and if that doesn't work, try to put them in a scenario you've experienced with your birth parents, and try to honestly picture them doing the same. Do you believe they'd be capable of treating you the same way?"

I tried imagining Dad handing a ten-year-old me five bucks and telling me to feed myself and my siblings, and the impossibility of it almost made me laugh.

"See?" Dr. Griffin asked, and I nodded. I could do this. I hoped.

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