Page 175 of Not Quite Dead Yet

‘It was when we arrived at the construction site, after you’d found the phone, the hammer. I was watching you, Billy. Saw the way you looked at Jet. It’s the same way I used to look at Dianne. I didn’t know.’

‘That I loved her? That I’d loved her every single day since I was a little boy? That she was everything to me?’

‘I’m sorry.’ He hung his head, made Billy aim at the gray hair on top.

‘Would you have still killed her, if you’d known?’

‘I don’t know, Billy,’ he cried. ‘I don’t know why it happened. I was just so angry at everyone, at everything, and I only saw one way out, didn’t stop long enough to think it all through. Something else took over, like the day Emily died. I just did what I had to do, to protect Luke. To help my son.’

‘But I’m your son too!’ Billy roared. ‘I’m yours too! I’m the one who was here, who was always here! And you never even saw me, especially after Mom left!’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Sorry doesn’t bring Jet back. She’s gone, Dad. I lost her.’

His chest seized, closing in around his heart, hiding it. It belonged to Jet, always would, he thought. But it belonged to Billy now too, shared, one half each.

‘Where did you get the gun, Billy?’

‘This.’ Billy flicked his gaze to the gun in his right hand. ‘It belongs to Henry Lim. He let us borrow it. Doesn’t want his brother to go to prison forever, for killing Jet. JJ didn’t kill Jet. I know you tried very hard to make it look like hedid, wrapped a neat little story around all that circumstantial evidence. Was it hard to convince Detective Ecker, or was he happy to take the easy way out, the simplest explanation?’

‘Billy –’

‘– I can’t live with that, Dad,’ Billy sniffed, pushing on before he lost his nerve. He wouldn’t lose it, because Jet was right here with him, and she was the brave one, dangerous little smile and her old-man laugh. ‘I’m the one who has to live, that’s what Jet told me, and I can’t live with this.You, getting to walk around with her blood on your hands, while JJ goes to prison for the rest of his life for something he didn’t do. All for Luke. Why did you do this?!’ Billy’s voice grated, tearing at his throat. ‘Why do you care about Luke so much?!’

‘Because he’s mine!’ Dad cried. ‘And because he’s Dianne’s. He’s ours!’

‘And you think Luke would have wanted you to do this? Kill his little sister?’

Dad put his hands up again, eyes dark and urgent.

‘He would understand,’ he said. ‘I did it for him. I look out for him, always have. He won’t have the same life I did, people taking what should have been mine.’ He shook his head, something stirring in his eyes as he stared down the barrel of the gun.

Billy tightened his grip. ‘I promised Jet, as she was dying, that I was going to finish this for her. So that’s what I’m doing.’

‘No, Billy, no!’ Dad begged. ‘Don’t kill me. Please. Put the gun down!’

‘OK.’ Billy loosened his grip, the gun swinging around his finger. He placed it on the table, beside his phone.

‘OK?’ Dad was confused, gaze flickering between Billy and the gun.

‘I’m not going to kill you, Dad. I hate you, but I’m not likeyou,’ Billy said. He picked up his phone instead, tapped the screen. ‘I got what I came for.’

Dad pushed up to his feet, wiped his face. ‘You were recording me, is that it?’ He gestured to Billy’s phone, lines of sweat striping his temple. ‘You think you can take that to the police, that they’ll arrest me and you get your ending?’ His face tensed, almost a sad smile, not quite making it. ‘That’s not how it works, Billy. A recording like that, it’s not evidence, it’s not admissible in court, especially as you coerced it out of me, a gun in my face. That’s not how this works.’

‘I know, Dad. I’m not an idiot. I am more than you think I am. Not just poor, sweet Billy.’ He sniffed, waved his phone. ‘I wasn’t recording you. But someone was listening. Just one person.’

The ghosts came back, behind Dad’s eyes, mouth dropping open.

‘Who?’ he whispered.

‘Me.’

The voice rang out behind them, through the front door Billy had left ajar.

Luke.

Crisp white shirt, a black tie too tight around his reddening neck. His phone in his hand, by his side.

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