Page 171 of When We Were Young

‘The only way you’ll make me miserable is if you leave me hanging for another twenty years.’

‘I’m serious.’

‘I’m afraid too. It’s different, it’s a change, but it’s what we both want, so we owe it to ourselves to give it a go. You said yourself, you’re sick of what-ifs. Let’s see how it goes. No pressure. Okay?’

‘Okay.’

‘Fancy checking out Amsterdam?’

‘Now?’

‘Why not? We’re leaving in the morning. The concierge told me all the best things to do in half a day.’

‘We have an itinerary?’

‘And dinner reservations. Are you ready for this?’

‘I’m ready.’

We grab a bite to eat at a street food market before heading off on a gallery tour. We chat, we laugh, we video call Liv. I thought it would be difficult visiting the city where I was supposed to pursue my dreams, but it isn’t. Not now I’m so full of hope for the future. Not now there’s an art commission if I’m brave enough to take it and not with Scott by my side. Spending time with him is easy, but there’s something else now. We’re more tactile than before. There’s a flirtatious edge to our conversations, but it’s not forced. I suppose, if anything, it was forced before. I would keep my distance, make sure I didn’t get too close or look too long. This is more natural. It feels right.

Scott says we don’t need to change for dinner. The restaurant isn’t fancy, but it’s packed with people and the food is amazing.

‘Oh, I’ve been meaning to tell you…’ he says while we wait for dessert. ‘Guess who I got in touch with?’ He smiles as he pulls out his phone.

‘Who?’ I take his phone and there on the screen is a photo of my old friend Miranda, our long-lost flatmate. Happy tears spring to my eyes at the sight of her laughing with a redhead by her side as they tickle the small boy between them.

‘That’s her wife and son.’

‘She’s married?’

‘Yep, living in Santa Barbara. She asked about you.’

‘How did you find her?’

‘She popped up on LinkedIn, so I sent her a message. She said she’d love to hear from you.’

I hand back his phone. ‘Oh, wow… well, I’ll definitely contact her when we get back.’

On the walk back to the hotel I ask, ‘Why did we need three nights in Amsterdam, again? We’ve done no work today.’

‘I wasn’t sure how long everything would take. It was just a contingency.’

I smile. ‘Contingency?’

‘You can’t come all the way to Amsterdam and not explore the city.’

As we ride the lift to our floor, there’s a fizzing in my stomach. As usual, we reach his room first.

He says, ‘I’ll walk you to your room.’

When we reach my door, he kisses me. It’s a long, slow, delicious kiss.

Then he says, ‘Goodnight.’

I’m a little surprised because I sensed an urgency in his kiss that I hoped would lead to more, but perhaps I was mistaken.

We shouldn’t rush things, anyway.