Page 124 of When We Were Young

‘And you don’t have me,’ she said. ‘Not anymore.’

He scrambled to his feet. ‘No. No. No.’

She marched out.

‘Don’t go. Please, let’s talk about this.’

She stopped on the landing and turned to him. ‘You don’t need to say anything else – I think I’ve got it. I should be grateful you weren’t screwing around the whole time you were on tour. And I should let you off because it was Christie Blackmore. And you didn’t even enjoy it. You’ve said enough.’

His footsteps drummed down the stairs behind her, and as she fumbled with her coat, he shuffled in her peripheral vision.

‘I’m so sorry.’ His voice was so serious and laced with regret she couldn’t look at him.

As she moved for the door, he grabbed her wrist.

She whirled around, wrenching it free. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you bought the biggest piece in my collection?’

Will’s mouth fell open.

‘I feel like an idiot,’ she continued, ‘thinking how great I am – people want to buy my work. They want to pay money for these little pieces of my soul. They even want to buy the big pieces. But they don’t do they, Will?’

His eyes were wide and unblinking. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said at last. ‘I didn’t buy it because I thought no one else would. I bought it because I love it and I wanted to have it. I couldn’t bear for it to hang in some city trader arsehole’s apartment and it not mean anything to them. Because it means so much to me.’

‘Where is it then, if it means so much to you?’

He paused. ‘I don’t have anywhere to put it yet––’

‘Where is it, Will?’

He was silent.

‘Where is it?!’ she yelled, making him flinch.

‘It’s in Matty’s mum’s loft,’ he muttered.

‘Oh,thankyou!’ her voice was bitter. ‘Thank you for saving it from hanging in some city trader arsehole’s apartment!’

‘You know I don’t have anywhere to live right now… Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just wanted you to feel good. What do you want me to do? How can I make this right?’

‘You can’t make it right.’ She strode to the door and yanked it open.

Rain was still coming down in sheets.

‘You’re not leaving? You can’t drive back now, you just got here.’

She made a dash for the car.

He followed despite the rain. ‘Please don’t go now,’ he said as she struggled with the key in the lock. ‘Wait till the morning. I’ll sleep on the couch.’

She threw her bag onto the passenger seat, climbed in, and slammed the door. He stood by the window as she started the engine. The windscreen was already steaming up, so she fired up the blowers. While she waited for the fog to clear, she glanced at Will, his body hunched against the rain, arms folded, a hand over his mouth, wet hair hanging in his eyes. He said nothing, but that bedraggled look was pure anguish.

She reversed, turned, and with tears spilling onto her cheeks, drove off, not daring to look in the rear-view mirror.

Chapter 56

June 2016

Emily