Page 5 of You, Me, and Lucky Number 13

County jail doesn’t scareme. In fact, it feels like coming home—albeit a cold and dirty home with horrible Wi-Fi.

“If your brother would pull that stick out of his ass, neither of us would be here on a weekend.”

Bad Betty, as she likes to be called, is one of my brother’s “frequent flyers” at the jail. She’s a lady of the night, and even though she’s sixty-three with a dwindling client list, you can still find her on Moreland Ave, hustling the locals out of a few bucks. I never ask what services she performs for those few bucks, but I imagine she does a bang-up job with whatever she does, pun intended, considering she still has regular clients.

I tuck my feet underneath me on the bench and sigh. “I can’t count how many times I’ve tried to pull that stick out of his ass, Bad Betty. I think he has screws bolting it in there.”

I can appreciate my brother’s stubbornness. I can. The man has been put through the wringer. It seems like it wasn’t that long ago that I turned sixteen. (Who do you think taught me all the road rage? Spoiler alert…it was my brother.)

Brian wasn’t the patient older brother he is now. Back then, he was so into girls he couldn’t see past his upper lip. I’m tellingyou, the boy had a hard-on for years. Mom and I thought he would never grow out of being a horn dog.

But he did.

It just took Mom dying from a brain aneurysm to do it.

Brian changed overnight.

Gone was my sex-crazed brother with extreme road rage. He grew up fast out of necessity. He turned hard. He turned into a man.

He is seven years older than me, and it felt like he turned into a grandpa who cared more about what I was wearing than the girls constantly texting his phone. The whole reason Brian became a cop was to get girls, and suddenly, he was more interested in being an older brother, or more like a father figure, than a bachelor.

It was sweet and spectacularly annoying.

I’m grateful he didn’t take Aunt Penny’s suggestion and let me come stay with her. Brian might be a stuffy old bird when he wants to be, but he’s nowhere near the level of snoozefest that is Aunt Penny. She could send the Sandman into a coma with one of her “Back in the Day” stories. I was so not going to survive those daily doses of horror.

I’d rather spend my evenings with the new version of the man who resembled my brother.

Brian wasn’t all that bad, though. Stuffy, yes, but not bad. He got on my nerves quite a bit, but I know it came from a good place. No matter how giant that stick was shoved up his ass, my brother made decisions with my best interest in mind.

He loves me.

And I have to remember that as I sit here in this cell with Bad Betty complaining about him.

“Hey, Jerry,” I call to the guard at the desk. “Any idea when bail will be set?” Bad Betty isn’t the worst company, but the hard bed is significantly worse than my brother’s stinky sofa.

“Still waiting on the judge, kiddo. I’m sure your brother is working on it.”

Speaking of my brother... “Where did Brian go anyway? I thought he’d want to take a selfie with me since it’sbring your sister to work day.”

“A call came in. He'll be back soon.”

Boo. The least he can do is take the day off to celebrate my first time in the slammer.

“Fine.” I flop back down on the floor. “I guess Bad Betty and I will just have to talk about him some more.”

Jerry chuckles, but not enough that I believe he finds me funny.

Settling my back against the wall, I glance over at Bad Betty, whose eyes are now closed and who is indulging in a mid-afternoon nap. Lucky woman. I wasn’t blessed with the ability to sleep anywhere—not in cars, not on planes, and definitely not in a jail cell. So, I settle for just resting my eyes.

It works for about ten minutes before I hear a voice that makes me a little stabby and breaks through my jailhouse serenity.

Chad.

Scrambling to my feet, I watch the bastard approach the cell. “Jerry,” I say dryly, “I believe this one is on the wrong side of the bars.”

Chad flashes me a smug smile that would make a nun want to punch him in the face. “Now we all know that's not true. You are right where you belong.”

I hate him with a fiery passion.

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