Page 58 of The Pretender

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“Tellme again why girls think this is—” I frown, drawing a blank. “What’s that stupid phrase you use?”

I should have been able to predict the hard shove to my chest, but for some reason, I’m off my game, and it sends me a step back.

“What did I say?”

One thing I’ve learned from hanging out these past three weeks with Vee is that women expect you to know how they are feeling at all times. Granted, Vee is so much more low maintenance than most girls, but I still find myself wondering what I’ve said when she walks off and flips me the bird. Case in point, right now.

Valentina spears me with a sharp and deadly look. It’s meant to make me nervous. It doesn’t. All it makes me want to do is shove her ass down on the sofa and show her exactly where she can put those lips. Trust me, it’s not somewhere tasteful.

“I don’t use the phrase,” she scolds me. “I simply said #couplegoals is the internet trend and all couples, who are anyone online, try to create pictures and videos that make the single girls swoon with hope that there are men out there for them and it makes the girls in relationships tell their boyfriends to do better.”

My brows furrow. “But it’s all fake. Seems like they would know that. I mean, what dude actually wants to play video games with his girlfriend on his lap?”

I flop down on the sofa and grab the controller as to demonstrate. On the edge of the sofa with my elbows resting on my knees, I grasp the controller and stare straight ahead at the TV. “See, when I want to win, the last thing I’m doing is lying back in my bed or reclining on the sofa with my arms around my girl, pressing the buttons.”

I wave a hand over my body’s position. “This is how I play. I have room to jump up, drop some F bombs, and get right up to the TV to make sure I beat my competitor.”

This whole ‘pretend we’re playing video games together’ thing is ridiculous and totally Vee’s idea. When we actually managed to strategize, it was her saying, “Can we just agree to let me do all the planning? I don’t think you have any idea what our viewers want to see.”

I didn’t argue because, honestly, I didn’t know what the hell they wanted. All I know is that everything we’ve been posting has been blowing up. We’re the number one favorite in the UniCamFlix Competition. So if Vee’s crazy ideas get us there, then great. Winning and getting the fuck out of Georgia is my end goal.

Vee looks up from the camera, making sure the angle is right on the tripod. “Don’t be ridiculous. Girls know that you don’t play seriously with them on your lap. The point is you allow them to enjoy something you enjoy.”

I think about her words for a minute. “Really? You all want to play video games with us?”

This time, she shakes her head and flops down beside me, jostling us both. “Please, bitch, I plan on kicking your ass after we shoot this video.”

She sounds so serious that I throw my head back and laugh. “I should have remembered. You’re not a typical girl.”

She nods, examining the controls on the handset. “Don’t you forget it either.”

Her comment sends a jolt of memories through me and my grip on the controller tightens. She notices, but she doesn’t say anything and that’s good because we somehow need to get through this shoot without arguing.

“Okay,” Vee says, then exhales, as if preparing herself for this conversation. “In order for it to look super ‘coupl-y’ you need to change into those gray sweatpants you have and leave off the shirt.”

I can feel my eyes go wide. “What in the hell do sweatpants have to do with playing video games?”

She rolls her eyes. “Think about it, Bash. Do you think couples snuggle with a lot of clothes on?”

“We have to snuggle?” I am one hundred percent sure she did not mention that earlier when she was pitching the idea to me. “You didn’t mention any snuggling.”

Why is this an issue for me? I don’t know. I mean, on average, I’m not a cuddler, but with Valentina, I’mreallynot up for a cuddle session.

“Stop being a baby,” she says and rips off her shirt.

“Oh my God! What the fuck are you doing?” I toss the controller down and stand. “Put your shirt back on.”

Well, maybe wait a minute. No. No, she definitely needs to put it back on. Seeing her in a sports bra that dips dangerously low, showing two rounded hills of smooth skin that look like two ass cheeks squished together… I can’t be trusted with a bra like that.

It’s painful—literally painful, as my dick stands at attention. We’re not used to seeing Valentina Lambros in any other way than as a friend and the annoying neighbor. The bra and— “Why are you taking off your pants?”

She walks away, her panties on full display as she ignores me, pulling something out of her bag and slipping them on.

“Why are you changing into those shorts?”

Fuck me. These shorts are pink and girly and sit high on her thigh. I rake a hand through my hair. I can’t do this.

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