Page 17 of The Pretender

Me: Some of us have something called morals. You should google it sometime.

I seea grin creep onto his face. He loves getting to me.

Demon Douche: You of all people should not be surfing the morality board, Ms. I Lie On The Daily.

It’sa shot to the heart. One I deserve, but nevertheless, it still stings for all of about 2.5 seconds when I realize what he’s sitting in.

Me: That’s my chair, asshole!

This man is seriously sittingin my patio chair with me right here. The nerve!

Demon Douche: What? You’re seeing things. Pam let me borrow this—

He sendsthe rolling its eyes emoji.

Demon Douche: —last Sunday. Stop trying to cause neighborhood drama, Valentina.

I swear to G—Myfingers fly over the keyboard.

Me: You’re the liar, Sebastian Carrington!

He eases backinto my wicker chair.

Demon Douche: Sucks, doesn’t it, bro?

Don’t scream.If you scream, Fenn and Bennett will demand to know what’s going on and that can never happen.

No one can ever know what went down between Sebastian and me.

Me: I hate you.

It’ssort of the truth. I do hate him, sometimes, but this one time—never mind. Those days are over. All that matters is the here and now. Sebastian and I are enemies. I turn back to Aspen and Fenn, not able to help them at all because my damn phone dings again, and I swear on all things holy that I really do try not to read it.

Demon Douche: Knock ‘em dead, Tiger. I won’t be rooting for you.

I flip the idiot off.

Fuck being a good neighbor.

CHAPTERFIVE

Valentina

University CamFlix Competition Submission

Entry Number: 75

Sebastian and Valentina

First Interview Continued, also known as those precious few minutes I will never get back

“What exactly did Sebastian do to sabotage your video?”

Had I known the producers would be so damn nosy in these interviews, I might have negotiated with Bash-hole for a sixty-forty split instead of fifty-fifty. This is awful.

“Have you ever seen the movie,Titanic?” I ask the producer.

He nods. “Great film.”

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