Page 39 of Commander in Briefs

“If I catch you we’ll run another mile.” Anniston’s voice carries through the crisp spring air.

Pushing my legs harder, I hear her footsteps gaining on me. This is her favorite game to play. I get five minutes head start. We run for six miles total. If at any point she catches me, we add an extra mile. The first few times we played sucked ass, with me eventually just begging for mercy between bouts of nausea.

The past month has been life-altering, to say the least. Anniston and I have developed a routine. It’s comfortable. It feels like home. It’s getting easier to lose myself in her world.

Except at night.

Each night, the nightmares come. Scream after scream. Explosions. The smell of coppery blood burns my nose. I can’t escape the dreams.

Even she can’t get them to stop. Night after night, she comes to my side, holds me tight, whispering soothing words in my ear. That helps, but doesn’t make them stop. Only the blue pill does.

I don’t deserve to take it. I deserve to suffer. I don’t deserve to sleep peacefully while my friends, my team, rot in the dirt.

Finally, after many nights of her trying to comfort me, sitting next to her in the bed I now thought of as mine, I admitted what happened to my team.

“It was the coldest night we had seen in months. We’d been awake for sixty-two hours when we got word that our mark was inside this known insurgent hideout. I was so relieved to get in there and blow the bastard to bits so we could leave this hellhole and go home. Our tour had been extended for an additional three months and was on the verge of another two if we couldn’t catch this asshole. Anyway, Brannon, one of my newest officers, good kid, went in first, finally calling out the ‘all clear.’ I was pissed that we lost our mark again. Caught up in my anger and frustration of another three days down the drain, I didn’t see the cabinet was open. And when I heard the distinctive beep, it was too late. The shitty house exploded with me and my men inside. I was unconscious for a while, but when I came to, I was able to drag myself over to Brannon, and clutched his hand as the light faded from his eyes. I knew better than to rush in like that. I knew better and I failed them. Their blood is on my hands. I killed them.”

That night, I told Anniston my truth, and without words or judgments, she grasped my hand and gave me redemption.

“Let me help you, Cade. You can make it right by helping others like you. I can give you the redemption you crave. Live for them, Cade. Be the major they deserve.”

I never agreed one way or the other and we haven’t spoken about it since. She keeps me busy working my body, pushing me past my limits. It’s pure torture, but every day I see a little piece of the old me return. And every night I am reminded why that’s not me anymore.

Her footsteps are louder. She’s gaining on me. Picking up the pace, I race past the barn, hoping to cut through and gain an edge.

“I see you,” she taunts from behind.

Fuck. She doesn’t even sound winded. My lungs are in a constant state of fire. Even though I am in much better shape than before, I am not even close to her level of athleticism.

Ducking through the barn, I take a left and make the mistake of looking back. She’s not there. Confused, I slow down, looking around. Did she fall? Before I can decide to double back I’m hit hard from behind, the weight throwing me off balance and taking me to my knees.

“Gotcha!” she crows. “One more mile, slowpoke.”

Dammit.

I get to my feet and dust off my knees, giving her a pointed look. “Did you have to bum-rush me like a damn linebacker?”

She throws me a smug smile. “Of course. What would be the fun if I just tagged you like a normal girl?”

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? She isn’t a normal girl. This girl is an angel. I swear. And what she’s doing with Theo is damn blasphemy.

Meeting him in person was just as painful as I thought it would be. At some point, I grew very protective and possessive of this girl. I know he was her first, but every day I am with her makes me want her even more.

Theo’s threat in the store has been eating away at me and has kept me pissed off all day. I wanted to choke the life from him right there in the middle of the cereal aisle. But the voice of the angel filtered through and I let him go. For her sake.

All I can think is that it’s time for me to go. As much as I hate to admit it, Theo is right about one thing: I will never be good enough for her. He’s not either, but he’s got one foot in the door. I see it in her eyes. She loves him, even if he doesn’t deserve it.

She’s stubborn, though, and anytime I bring up leaving she comes up with something that she needs help with. And being the sucker I am, I agree to help. After all, I owe this woman.

Anniston has taken off out of the barn. I hurry to catch up before she circles back and adds yet another mile. My energy level is down from lack of sleep. I’ve been leaving the TV on, hoping that if I wake screaming she won’t hear it now that she has been sleeping upstairs in her actual bedroom. I was shocked to discover that the first week she slept in the guest room down the hall to stay close to me.

Don’t think about it, Cade. She isn’t yours. She’s that fuckhead’s.

Rounding the bend, my heart drops. Anniston is standing at the tree line, arms crossed with a smug-ass smile. “You know, I’m starting to think you just want to run another mile.”

I smile and shake my head. “No, I’m a little tired today. Dealing with Theo is exhausting.”

Her sweet laugh echoes amongst the trees. “I agree. Although, you look more than a little tired.” She gives me a knowing look. “I heard you last night but when I came down. The door was locked.”

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