Page 75 of Commander in Briefs

I massage his hands harder, attempting to take the sting out of what I’m confessing. I don’t want to work for Theo full time anymore. I want to be here, helping where I’m needed the most.

Theo is shaking his head in disagreement before I can elaborate further. “That’s not true.”

But it is. He knows it, I know it.

“Yes, it is. Your team trainers have more experience than I will ever be able to acquire.”

He pulls back his hands, interlacing them behind his head. Letting him go seems like a goodbye. Crazy, right? I’m scared this is the beginning of the end for us. I kept holding on to the hope that fate would step in and make us work somehow, but now… I’m not so sure.

Theo stands, his hands tugging at the strands of those beautiful, midnight waves that I’ve spent countless hours running my own fingers through. “What are you saying?”

My throat works to swallow down the huge-ass lump in my throat as I wrack my brain for the best way to say this to him. The pained expression on his face breaks my fucking heart.

Just pull off the Band-Aid, Ans.

“I want to reduce my hours with the MLB.”

“You mean, with me?” He’s hurt, there’s no denying it now. Those midnight blues glaze over and nothing but sheer agony replaces the usual mischievous gleam.

I’m out of my chair, clutching his arms before he can get away. “No, not from you. Never from you.”

I rub soothingly, against the downy-fine hair along his arms. Nestling into his strong shoulder, I continue breaking my best friend’s heart.

“I want to be with you, Teddy, but, this is my calling.” My voice quivers as I struggle to get the last word out.

Theo picks up my distress, instinctively wrapping his arms around me, comforting me when I’m the one hurting him. His embrace is safe. Soothing.

He inhales a ragged breath. I’m preparing myself for the inevitable pain of parting ways with someone who has been by my side for fifteen years. My muscles tense painfully at the thought of him with another girl. If he moves on after this and finds a girl who will travel the world with him, then, I will be happy for them. Eventually. Okay, that is a total lie. I will hate that bitch to the point of psychosis.

“I need to go.” Abruptly, Theo pushes away and places a sweet kiss to my forehead. “We’ll discuss it later, okay?”

I’m relieved there will be a later. That this isn’t our final goodbye.

“Okay,” I whisper, my heart in my throat.

With a curt nod and a frown, he leaves me standing in the middle of an empty kitchen. For some reason, I’ve never felt more alone than I do at this moment.

“You okay, Commander?”

The Veteran’s Association in Atlanta spares no expense for their visitors. Insert sarcasm here. Currently, Cade and I are still waiting in this muted, boring-ass waiting area that looks as though the Pillsbury Dough Boy had one too many biscuits and barfed all over this tiny closet they call a waiting area. The dreadful cream paint colors and matching drapes aren’t the only details annoying me. Worse, is the hard-plastic chair that is digging into my back, making me think of creative ways to blackmail one of the guys for a massage later.

I raise my head, meeting Cade’s worried expression. He’s picked up on my anxiety. My knee has been bouncing continuously since we got here. Damn Theo, making me worry. Shit’s been distracting me all day. I flash Cade a fake smile, reassuring him that I’m okay. “Yeah, I’m good. Just a little spat with Theo. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

By the quirk of Cade’s brow, I can tell he thinks I’m lying. He won’t call me out on it, though, he’s too much of a gentleman for that.

He simply nods, moving the conversation along. “You told him about reducing your hours?”

Exhaling into the stale air of the room, I look skyward. “Yep.”

“And… what did he say?”

I don’t really want to talk about it at the moment. Theo and I may not be fine after this. The way we left it was…I don’t know. It’s still too raw to judge. But I don’t want to hurt Cade’s feelings either so I suck it up and answer, fighting through my desire to bottle it up.

“Nothing, really. He was hurt but said we would talk about it later.”

I shrug like it’s not a big deal. But we both know it is averybig deal. My whole relationship with Theo has been built on excuses. Not wanting to be the only virgin in med school. Him needing a trainer. Me needing a residency program. No, we both knew what we were doing with each other. I wanted him from the first minute I saw him shooting that basketball with terrible form. I was desperate to have him and he wanted me, too. Bad. But we never knew how to cross that line with each other. We were so scared to ruin something perfect, we found excuse after excuse to alter it. Like somehow that made it easier. Now, with the bullshit blown to hell, we don’t know where to go. Our lives are on different paths.

“He loves you.”

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