Page 52 of Commander in Briefs

She shouldn’t. One day, I will disappoint her like I did everyone else.

Instead of arguing or showing my hand, I turn to Thad and say, “One would be great.”

The rich flavor tastes fantastic sliding down my throat, coating my stomach with warmth. I end up having three beers, the four of us lounging around the house, grilling steaks and relaxing. I’m actually having a good time.

Anniston and the twins entertain me with their constant joking and ribbing of each other. They share stories of their childhood that put some things in perspective for me.

Anniston and Theo have been attached at the hip since sixth fucking grade. I mean, Thad was close with them, too, but it’s obvious he was the third wheel. The stories all start with, “Theo thought it was a good idea to,” or “Anniston just had to,” never anything about Thad. Only that they had to call Thad to bail them out when their plans went too astray. It was a weird circle of friendship, yet it worked for them.

After we eat, I retire to my room, the beer enhancing my still sleep-deprived state. Even after eight hours of sleep induced by the sleeping pill last night, I’m still tired. Some days I feel as though I’ll never catch up.

I stare up at the ceiling fan in the dark, counting the blade rotations for what seems like hours. I think maybe I doze off a couple of times but can’t be sure. This place doesn’t feel the same as home to me. Used to, I could sleep anywhere as long as the nightmares stayed at bay, but now, after being with Anniston, I feel like I can only sleep under the painted shiplap that covers my ceiling. How pathetic I have become. I’m getting too attached.

Feeling panic start to rise, I get up and pace in circles. I need a plan. I can’t stay with her forever. She has a life. For fuck’s sake, she has a boyfriend. Where can I go? My breathing becomes shallow. Fuck. I need to run. That’s what Anniston says. Run.

Throwing my shoes on quickly, I try focusing on slowing down my breathing. One. Two. In. Out.

It’s not helping.

I make my way out of the guest room, looking for Anniston. She’ll know where I can find a treadmill.

“You alright?”

I look over and spot Theo, no it’s Thad, sitting on the sofa. The sun is setting. Shit. How long was I in there?

Thad is looking at me expectantly. Damn. Did he ask me a question?

Shaking my head to clear my confusion, I answer honestly, “I need a place to run.”

Thad gives me an understanding nod. “I’ll get Anniston.” He rises and heads to the patio doors, where Theo has her wrapped in his arms, and they’re swaying to some soft music. She laughs when he twirls her around, dipping her toward the balcony floor, and she looks up at him with the heat of a thousand suns. This is how he does it. This secret love they share is how he gets away with being such a prick. The feelings in her eyes are unmistakable. She loves him. He loves her. It’s obvious to everyone around them.

Thad opens the sliding doors, and notes of a piano drift into the penthouse. I don’t recognize the song, but then, I’ve only recently started listening to music again. Thad touches Anniston’s shoulder, breaking her dance with Theo. He whispers in her ear and her expression changes to concern as she abruptly lets go of Theo.

She meets my eyes through the glass and I can’t help but fidget as she makes her way to me, Theo and Thad flanking her. Approaching me with caution, she tenderly reaches for my face, something I’ve noticed she does frequently to show affection.

“What’s going on, Gorgeous?” Her baby blues lock with mine.

I feel ashamed to tell her I am having a break. I want her to enjoy her time away, not be a burden. Glancing down at my feet, I mumble, “I need to run.”

Her finger moves to my chin and lifts it slowly. “Need to burn off all those calories you just packed on?” She winks, understanding the gravity of the situation. Being the awesome person she is, she’s allowing Theo and Thad to think I am concerned with my body fat.

I nod in agreement.

She smiles, taking my cheek in her hand. “How bout you shower and get changed. Then we’ll go have some fun.”

I open my mouth to argue but she cuts me off.

“What do you say, boys? Y’all ready for me to whoop those asses in some racing?”

Theo scoffs. “Paleeze. Last time we raced you were washing my dirt out of your hair for a week.” He gives Anniston a little wink while Thad just laughs.

“Good. It’s all settled then. Everyone get dressed. Commander is about to school you losers in how to drive.”

Theo throws his head back in a deep belly laugh and heads down the hall. “In your dreams, Ans.”

Thad takes off in the opposite direction, leaving Anniston and me alone in the living room. In a serious tone she instructs me, “Calm down. Take some deep breaths with me, okay?”

We go through several breathing exercises and by the third one I feel much calmer. “I think I’m okay now,” I tell her, interrupting her deep breathing.

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