Page 112 of Commander in Briefs

She shakes her head, sniffling into my chest. “Someone has to stay here with Lawson. I can go alone. I’ll be okay.”

I don’t respond because there’s no point. I’m going and she will just have to get over it. Hayes returns with her keys in record time. I take them from his hand before she has a chance.

“You’re in charge,” I tell him firmly. “No one in or out without a buddy until we return.”

Hayes tips his chin in acknowledgment.

Ans sucks in a shaky breath before pulling away from my chest.

“Get your shoes and jacket, Commander.” Someone has to take control of this situation and it’s obvious Ans is having a hard time.

She kisses Hayes on the cheek as she passes by the guys. All of us stay silent until she clears the room.

When she is out of range, I look at my team. “No bullshit. Lou is getting braver, he went after Lawson last night and with the lack of police presence surrounding the incident, my thought is that Lawson is correct in his assumption that the sheriff is involved as well. Be watchful. Be safe. Stay together and protect the house. Make her proud.”

They stand at attention, each saluting me with an “Oohrah!”

I return with my own salute and exit the family room to grab Ans a water, as well as my wallet.

She still hasn’t come downstairs when I return from changing and gathering a small bag. I make my way to her room, sounds of sobbing making me quicken my pace. I push open the door and directly in front of me lies one the most heartbreaking scenes I have ever encountered.

“You can do this. Focus. Tie the shoe,” she chants to herself as her hand shakes violently over her shoelace. She whimpers and it turns into a frightened sound. “Come on! Do it for Theo.”

She tries grasping the laces again, her fingers shaking too much to take purchase. She lets out a sobbing scream before I rush to her. Her limbs stiffen immediately. This part of herself she keeps locked away from me. Only Theo has ever been allowed to see it.

Tears fall silently down her face as she completely breaks down in front of me. Honestly, I don’t envy Theo. Not anymore. I was so jealous that she kept this from me and gave it all to him. But now, after seeing her like this, I never want to see it again.

She’s always so strong, so fearless. This girl, this broken girl in front of me, is not the Commander I know. The strength and love that Theo must possess to endure this is incredible. I don’t know if I could watch her brutalize and challenge herself like she does. I would want to help her. I would want to save her. I don’t think I could be strong and silent and pick up the pieces when she fails. Serious props to Theo.

Dozens of ideas race through my head as I watch her shirt absorb the falling tears. What would Theo do? Do I tie her shoes for her? Do I walk out? Fuck!

A tortured sob breaks free and I realize she is trying again to tie her laces and failing. I don’t think anymore, I just react. Crouching behind her, her back to my front, I lay my hands over her shaking ones.

“Draw strength from me,” I whisper softly but firmly into her ear. She inhales a shaky breath as I move our hands so hers are resting on top of mine.

“Breathe with me, Commander.”

I coax a few patterned breaths out of her until slowly she calms.

“Now, let’s get these shoes tied.”

She nods her head and presses her shaky fingers to my hands as I slowly start to tie while she rests against me.

Her hands still tremble by the time I get to the second shoe, but it’s less now. I think she is calm enough for us to leave. Although, I may need a moment to gather myself.

“You ready to go?” I question, turning her slightly.

She nods, her face flaming, her gaze not leaving her feet. Lifting her chin, I place a chaste kiss to her forehead.

“Then, let’s go see about the pain in the ass.”

That gets a smile from her.

The drive to the hospital is twice as long as it should’ve been due to the traffic clogging up I-75 from the first ever All-Star game held in metro Atlanta. We should have been at the game, with Theo. But, no. Lawson had to get his ass beat, causing Anniston to hover over him like a mother hen. She shouldn’t have had to choose between being with Theo and being with Lawson. She waved me off when I said as much, saying she’s seen Theo pitch in the All-Stars plenty of times before. But I know the truth. She wanted to be there. And now, stuck in traffic, I bet that’s exactly what’s going through her head.

I swear several times as out-of-towners get into to the wrong lane and then try to cut over at the last minute, nearly clipping the front end of my truck. By the time we finally park in the underground lot of Emory University Hospital, I’m close to bumming a cigarette off the guy propped against the wall outside the building. I haven’t had a cigarette in years. It’s an expensive habit. One that I dropped with everything else in my life that reminded me of the old me.

“Do you know what floor he’s on?” I ask Anniston, who is bouncing on her toes, punching the elevator button more times than necessary. She’s been quiet, save a few sniffles and soft whimpers. She’s calmed down tremendously during the last thirty minutes of our two and half hour car ride to the hospital.

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