Page 37 of Saving Micah

Coffee is much needed this morning. Too bad we didn’t end up getting drunk last night like we planned. Reality kind of stole that from us, but we will be glad for that small favor today. Today, I need to figure out what I am going to do about Zant. Do I let him keep running from me or do I confront him? I’m so lost.

I reach up and pull a mug out of the cabinet and then turn to the refrigerator to get the creamer. Kelly is sitting at the bar when I turn around. I grab a mug for her and set it by the coffee maker.

“How are you this morning, Mi?” Kelly knows me well and she knows that I am confused. That isn’t what she is asking me. She is asking me how I am doing down deep. She is asking me how I am holding the pieces of my heart, that I still have, together. “Kelly, to be honest. I don’t really know. Why is he back? How long has he been back? Why did he run from me again? What did I ever do to make him leave me?” At that last question, I feel the tears slide down my face. Kelly comes around the bar and wraps me up in a hug. I know she doesn’t have the answers. I know that she can’t fix this, but I need to ask the questions out loud.

I hear Kelly start to whisper in my hair, “I have no idea Mi. But, I think we need to find out. We need to get you some closure. Regardless of what his reasons are.” I can’t agree with her more. I need answers. I need them to move on with my life. ‘Cause who knows if Zant will even be a part of my future. In any capacity.

After our first cup of coffee, Macy wakes up and makes her way to the kitchen to join us. “What are we doing today you guys? Are we finding Zant and asking him what the hell his problem is? Cause I think that is what we need to do today.” Leave it to Macy to just put it out there. She can be feisty at times.

Zant better have Levi and Chance around for backup when we do come across him. I’ve got two bulldogs with me that want a piece of him.

We didn’t go see Zant. Kelly left a little after we had coffee. She just said she had some things to do. Macy stayed with me until lunch. We just watched TV and ate junk food. Everything kept spinning through my head.

It’s been over two weeks since the Club 3 incident. I went through the motions of working at the book store. Work is usually my happy place. I love my job. The application that I filled out was for a part time job. I wanted something to keep me busy on the weekends. I didn’t get the job so the search is still on for that. I still have the book store job to tied me over until I can get more income.

Tonight, is Wednesday, Macy and Kelly are coming over for takeout and girl talk. We picked up this ritual years ago. We meet at one of our houses every other Wednesday night just to catch up with each other and stay in the loop of each other’s lives. Back when Zant left, these times are what kept me sane. I knew I could count on them to show up and distract me from my self-induced pity party that I liked to get into.

I hear the door as I’m getting drinks out of the fridge. Perfect timing and all that.

“Micah, where you at girl?” Macy yells as she gets closer to me.

“I’m in the kitchen getting drinks. What did you guys decide to get to eat?”

“Chinese.” Kelly says and she enters the kitchen and puts the bags on the counter. She and Macy unloads the bags as she continues talking. “Alright, what has been going on? How are you? Tell me everything.” I wonder if she even takes a breath in between the questions.

I just look at Macy and roll my eyes.

“I’m fine y’all. I’m not falling apart. I really am ok. I’ve had time to cope and all the little lessons that I learned years ago, come in handy daily.” Telling them this should help calm them but by the looks on their faces, they don’t believe me.

I understand and it’s ok. I will show them.

After we eat and catch up, they leave and I get ready for bed. My routine consists of brushing my teeth, taking my makeup off, and getting into my sleep shorts and a tank top. Once all that is done, I climb into my huge king size bed.

What? A single person can’t have a king size bed? Whatever! I sleep like the dead in that oversized marshmallow.

I snuggle down and as sleep envelopes me, my last thought is of those green eyes.

I wake up and it’s dark outside. I’m in my childhood home and bedroom. I look around, everything is right where it was when I was in school. Jr. High and High School pictures of friends are all over my walls. I feel like I’m in déjà vu.

I hear something outside my window. I get up from my bed and moved towards the window. Right then, it opens and I see Roy Taylor’s face.

I slowly back up.This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This isn’t real.I keep trying to get farther back from him. My body is in shock. I know this feeling. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. Oh My Gosh, I can’t handle this again.

I start to scream.

Chapter 22

Zant

I was sure by now

God, you would have reached down

And wiped our tears away,

Stepped in and saved the day

{‘Praise You In The Storm’ -Casting Crowns}

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