Page 36 of Saving Micah

I go and answer the door. Both men push by me to enter my apartment.

Levi gets started, “What the hell man? Why did you run? I know why you ran but again I ask, why did you run?” I just look at him. I think he may answer his questions while he asks them. “You love Micah. Yes, I am going to get mushy and talk about love and shit. We are going there. You love Micah. Why do you keep torturing yourself in this life by staying away from her? She needs you, man. Regardless of what you think. You staying away from her isn’t helping her. It isn’t even helping you.”

The whole-time Levi is talking, I glance at Chance. He is nodding along with everything Levi is saying. Now I know where they both stand. What do I do now?

Everything that I have done has been for Micah. Every decision I made was to give her a better life. From the age of five years old to the current age of twenty-one. My whole life has been about doing what is best for Micah. No one may believe me. She probably won’t even believe that, but that is the truth and I won’t be sorry.

“You both know why I stay away from Micah. I’m toxic for her. She doesn’t need me in her life. I will just screw shit up even more than I already have.”

This time Chance speaks up. “Dude, you are all kinds of twisted if you think that what happened to her had anything to do with you. You didn’t make your dad do what he did. You aren’t even close to being anything like that piece of shit.”

I know what he is saying is true and it makes sense, but right now I still can’t make my head wrap around the fact that I may not be bad for her. I’m scared of messing her up and I must stay away.

I don’t say anything to either one of them. I need a distraction.

The guys leave shorty after that. They know me. They know they aren’t getting anything else out of me tonight. I need to be along to think. That is why they are my best friends. Regardless of how they feel about the whole situation, they will always stand behind me and I couldn’t love them any more for that.

I don’t even remember falling into bed. I just know that right before my eyes close, I see her face.

Chapter 21

Micah

This ringing in my head

Is this a cure or is this a disease

{‘Show Me How To Live’ -Audioslave}

You know that feeling when you feel like you’re in an alternate universe? No? Let me tell you, it’s a weird feeling. I wake up groggy and I don’t know where I’m at. I slowly try to open my eyes because I know what I see around me isn’t going to be the sanctuary of my bedroom.

Little bits of memories start to come back to me.

Zant.

I remember his green eyes. Why is he here? Why is he back? How long has he been back? Why has he not contacted me?

I know that I’m lying down. I hear voices and there is a soft glow in here where I’m at. I look over and see Macy and Kelly. They are whispering. It is in fast harsh tones. They are angry about Zant being here and apparently, he left me. Again. I don’t see him anywhere and I know they would be screaming at him if he was in the room with us.

I moan a little involuntarily and they immediately move toward me.

“How are you feeling, Mi?” Macy says. She has a worried tone to her voice. She probably thinks that I am going to lose my mind and start sobbing. It wouldn’t be the first time that I sobbed over Zant Taylor.

I clear my throat and answer her. “I’m ok. Where am I?” I sit up and swing my legs to the side of the bed. I refuse to look at them. Pity is the last thing I need to see in them. They have shown that to me more times that I care to count in the past few years.

“You’re in a back room in Club 3. When Jake saw you faint, he offered to move you to this room so you could wake up and Kelly and I wouldn’t have to figure out how to get you home.”

I nod my head and think about getting up. I think it’s a better idea to stay seated for a little bit longer. I look around the room. It is a small bedroom of some sort. This must be some sort of private room for sex or something. I shudder when I think about what has happened on the bed that I am sitting on. It’s then that I decide it’s time to get up.

A half hour later, I’m back in my apartment with Kelly and Macy. After getting up and making sure that I was alright, we found Jake. He called us an Uber and helped us into the car. He really is a nice guy from what I can tell. I’m going to have to talk with Kelly about him later. He may be just what she needs.

We decided that curling up on the couch in our pajamas and watching a movie is the perfect ending to this, more than weird, night.

I am really upset for Macy. I know this is not how she wanted to spend her 21stbirthday. Despite her telling me that how we have chosen to end it is perfect for her. I know she must be upset and I vowed to Kelly that we were going to make it up to her soon. Kelly agrees with me.

I know that they are feeling just as weird as I am. The words that should come, don’t. The anger that should come, doesn’t. There are just a million questions and who knows when, or even if, we will get the answers.

I wake up on the floor of my living room the next morning. Macy and Kelly are curled up on each end of the couch. Their feet are touching. Who knows when I ended up on the floor. I just remember starting to doze off. Kelly was already asleep at that point.

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