Page 20 of Saving Micah

We are all scared of mama.

“What’s going on up here? Is everyone ready? We need to get on the road.” Chance says as he comes up behind me.

He wraps his arms around me and gives me a quick squeeze before dropping his arms. I didn’t move a muscle. I just kept looking into Zant’s eyes.

I’m getting better. Every day is different. But, they keep doing the same thing so that I can get used to being touched.

My mama sat us all down and made this rule. For some reason, she thought that was what I needed.

I suppose she was right.

Both of my guy friends and both of my girl-friends are to touch me any time they are greeting me or when I am just standing around in my own little world. For six whole months, no one touched me. If they did, I screamed.

Mama couldn’t even touch me and I know that broke her heart. I saw it and that broke mine.

One night I woke up from a nightmare screaming. Zant immediately jumped in my bed and wrapped me in his arms. I was kicking and clawing and he wouldn’t let me go. He held me tight until I just couldn’t fight anymore.

Micah, I’m not him. He isn’t here. He can’t touch you anymore. You are safe. I have made you safe. Calm down for me. Let me hold you. Let me heal you.

He kept saying those words to me (let me hold you – let me heal you) over and over again until I gave up trying to get away from him.

That night changed everything for us. He was the first person to get through my wall and he knew that it could only be him. We became different then.

“We are ready, man. Is everything in the van? I’ll take our bags and you and Levi get the girls stuff out of Macy’s car.” Zant moves into his authority role. He has become our ‘leader’ if you want to call him that. He keeps us organized. Which is a good thing. We would all go crazy without him telling us what to do and where to be.

He just kind of fell into those shoes that night after my assault and we’ve just fell into step.

As we are getting everything into the van and Mama is loading our snacks, Daddy pulls up.

“Y’all fixing to head out? Micah, did you make sure to grab all of the chargers? None of y’all need an excuse to have a dead cell battery.”

“Yes, Daddy, I packed them all. We are good to go. We even have sunscreen.” I tease him as I hug him. He lightly pats my back.

We have worked on this and we both get what we want. He gets to touch me and I get what I need - my daddy’s hugs. It’s always quick and to the point. And I always initiate it.

“Ok. Good. I don’t want to deal with six lobsters when y’all get back.” He laughs at his own joke. We just chuckle and roll our eyes.

He tries. The poor man.

We all climb into our seats in the van and buckle up.

My parents stand at my window on the passenger side front seat and tells everyone bye.

Dad gives his last little speech. “Zant. Be careful. Don’t speed. Don’t text or call while driving. Let Micah fool with the radio.” He smirks.

Everyone starts laughing. They all know that I’m in control of the radio anyway.

“I’ve got it Mr. D. We are good. We will call when we have to stop every fifteen minutes for a pee break.” Zant says as he looks at us girls. We just roll our eyes.

“Ok. Love you all. See y’all in a week.” Mama says.

We pull out of the driveway. Zant puts his aviator shades on and laces his fingers through mine. We head out.

I put a CD into the radio and yell, “ok! Y’all know the rules. No talking unless you’re singing.” Everyone grumbles under their breath but shuts up. “Man In The Mirror” by Michael Jackson begins to play and we all start to sing.

Chapter 10

Zant

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