Page 106 of Lonely Alpha
My gaze darted to the side and I started to pace again. Footsteps pounding on the carpet, I wondered how long it would be until Leighton interrupted us. I’d invaded her bedroom. It was the only place with any privacy in this apartment.
I needed privacy.
I needed one fucking moment where I wasn’t thinking about her or Kiara.
“Get out.” I waved at the door. “I need…”
Trailing off, I growled.
What did I fucking need? There was nothing I could do that would dispel this fist of affection around my heart. I was already a goner, and because I hadn’t saved us, we were all going to fall.
“You need to relax, baby,” Ambrose said.
His tone was soft. When he moved toward me, I let him. He pulled me against his chest and I buried my face there, breathing him in.
There were very few things in this world that relaxed me. He was one of them.
“I’m fine,” I muttered.
I very much was not.
“You’re self-sabotaging.”
“We can’t end up with them,” I said. “It won’t work. Our pack is fine as it is.”
Ambrose stroked my back with one of his big hands. I snuck my hands up underneath the fabric of his shirt, running my palms up his scarred back. He never let anyone else touch him like this. Except Kiara and Leighton.
“Tell me why we can’t, baby.”
He shuffled us over to the bed and sat down. Everyone’s scent was on it. Dash, from when he napped last night. Leighton and Kiara, heavy with arousal. Me and Ambrose, now that we were perched on the edge.
It felt like a nest. Something I’d always wanted. A nest with my pack. It was something I’d given up on when we’d been rejected by our scent match.
“You know why.”
“Tell me.”
I couldn’t disobey when he made it a command.
“The omega is under a lot of pressure, Ambrose. She can’t know what she wants after such a sheltered upbringing. When she realizes she chose rashly and doesn’t want us after all, our pack will fall to pieces.”
My family’s pack had fallen to pieces. No rash decisions necessary. They’d just realized after four kids and years of being bonded that they actually kind of hated each other. My childhood had been full of screaming matches and thinly veiled hatred between my parents.
A forever bond needed to be thought out, especially when it wasn’t to a scent match.
It couldn’t be decided on a whim. You couldn’t fall for someone when outside pressure was pushing you to lock yourself in for life. Dash would do it, but if Kiara and Leighton ever decided they didn’t want him, he would break.
If I let myself fall for them, they could break me too.
Ambrose sighed, leaning down to nuzzle his nose against my neck. I held back my moan—barely. Between Ambrose’s arousal constantly lingering in the air and the sizzling chemistry I was ignoring with Kiara and Leighton, I was pent up. The one orgasm had been a breakdown, only heightening my desire. Not a release.
“Your fear is holding us all back,” he murmured. “Especially Dash.”
I stiffened, trying to pull away. He didn’t release me.
“It’s been getting worse since you broke off our relationship a year ago, not better,” Ambrose continued.
He was right. Without him around to soothe me, I was more irritable and controlling. I trailed Dash like I was a suburban mom on a mission to keep her kid out of trouble.
