Page 24 of You Belong With Me

“Oh, don’t worry, he only brings those because he knows Ainsley’s going to steal them,” Imogen said. Her eyes locked on the field again like this conversation was barely interesting to her, which made me feel better. After the way she had talked about Sebastian earlier, I was worried that she would get upset seeing me holding his sweater and think that I was just here to hit on him like she had implied earlier. Then again, was she entirely wrong? When I was watching Sebastian on the field, all I could think about was how good he looked in the uniform, even with the sweat dripping down his face, the way his muscles flexed with every step he took. And as I watched him, it made me think of the kiss and how I’d feel if he kissed me tonight. Would it be different than at the party? Would it be just as good?

It was wrong for me to be thinking about him at all, but especially when his sister was the one who had invited me to the game and had just told me about how they hadn’t had any friends who didn’t hit on him. And yet, here I was. But the kiss had happened before I became friends withthem, so did it really count in the same way? I wasn’t sure. But I tried to imagine if I had become friends with somebody who then told me that they had kissed Dean. I wasn’t sure how I would react to that, but I couldn’t say I’d be happy.

Ainsley nudged me again, looking at the sweater pointedly, and I realized I’d been shivering. It probably seemed weirder that I was refusing to wear it than it would be if I just put it on, so I took it off my legs and slipped it on. Ainsley smiled, then held out the tub of popcorn to me. I took a handful, surprised by how strongly it tasted of fake butter and absurd amounts of salt.

“They can never get the ratios right,” she said as she watched my face, clearly amused. “Isn’t it delicious?”

Much like the hot chocolate, “delicious” was an interesting term for it. But I took another sip of my drink and another bite of popcorn and realized that actually, I was really enjoying it. There was something fun about sitting under the bright stadium lights with the sun setting behind us, wearing Sebastian’s sweater, and watching him play while eating crappy food. When I imagined what my high school years would be like, before I’d been slapped in the face with reality, this was pretty much exactly it. I guess I just hadn’t imagined that this fantasy would actually come true.

thirteen

I didn’t giveany thought to what would happen after the soccer game until it ended and Ainsley started pulling me down the bleachers. I thought we would just head home, but like at halftime, Ainsley pulled me toward the field. It only took me a second to realize why.

I tried to pull back, thinking of any excuse I could give—I needed to go to the bathroom, I was cold, I thought I saw Dean and wanted to say hi—because I didn’t want Sebastian to know that I’d been here for the whole game. I was terrified that he might read something into it. And why wouldn’t he? Last week, he kissed me and now, I was at one of his soccer games for the first time ever. It was so transparent. But I guess Ainsley was worried about losing me in the crowd, because her grip was tight enough to leave a mark on my wrist and she didn’t let go until she saw Sebastian on the field.

Then, she broke into a sprint and ran straight into his arms. He picked her up and spun her around as she giggled and said, “You are amazing, Sebastian.” Once he put herdown, he looked around, probably trying to find Imogen, who had split off from us to talk to a cheerleader. Instead, his eyes landed on me.

“Hey, Nellie,” Sebastian said with a cheeky smile. “What are you doing down here?”

“I convinced her to come support you,” Ainsley said. She looked at her brother with all the love in the world. It made my heart hurt a little. He was so good to his family, so wonderful to his sisters, and it just made me feel even guiltier about what Tiffany said. He was working so hard to take care of them, to try to keep their family together, and somehow I was here making it even worse for him.

We never used to talk this much. In my mind, he was always just Dean’s best friend, and even if we were around each other all the time, it wasn’t the same. Sure, he always watched out for me and he let me play his music in the car, but I knew that it was just him indulging me the same way that he would indulge Ainsley, Imogen or Lavender. It wasn’t because he liked me or anything, it was just because that was who he was as a person. And even if I used to have a childish crush on him, I’d gotten over it long ago. But then he had to go and kiss me and change everything between us. Suddenly, I wanted to be around him all the time. I wanted to hear his laugh. I wanted to see his smile. I should have found what he looked like now gross, covered in sweat and dirt from the long game, but instead I loved it. I would have stared at him forever like this if I could. If he was mine, I would hold this memory forever. Instead, all I could think about was how much my mere existence must have been draining to him. I should have said no when Ainsley askedme to the game, but at the time, I wasn’t aware of Tiffany’s feelings toward me.

Speak of the devil, she appeared out of nowhere and swooped in to kiss Sebastian. Ainsley immediately stepped back, probably not wanting to be in the middle of that, and made a gagging face at me. I laughed softly, not bringing Tiffany’s attention to what Ainsley was doing behind her back.

When Tiffany finally pulled back, she glanced at Ainsley and smiled at her, giving her a small smile, nothing like the smile Sebastian had given her. Then she turned her gaze on me and her face tightened.

“Oh,” she said, speaking as if she had found a piece of crap under her shoe. “Nellie. I didn’t see you there.”

“You must have run by too fast when you went to kiss Sebastian,” I said in the nicest voice I could manage. From the way she narrowed her eyes, I had to assume I hadn’t pulled it off well.

“Is that Sebastian’s sweater?” she asked in a tight voice.

“Yeah, I gave it to her at half-time,” Sebastian said. His voice was casual but his eyes were wary, probably waiting to see what Tiffany’s reaction was going to be. She didn’t say anything immediately, so he laughed and then ruffled my hair, which made me cringe in a million different ways. “Looks cute on you, Nellie.”

I batted his hand away and he laughed even harder. He probably thought I looked like a little kid in the sweater, with the way I was swimming in it. It must have already been oversized on him, so it was gigantic on me.

Tiffany turned to Sebastian with a frosty smile. “Don’t you think that’s a little weird?” she whispered. I wasn’t sure if she was intending for us to hear it or not, but I definitely did.

“What would be weird about it?” Sebastian asked, not even trying to keep his voice low.

“She’s wearing your sweater!” Tiffany hissed, throwing a hand up at me. “That can put out a bit of a weird message, don’t you think?”

Sebastian froze. Even though he still had his usual smile on his face, it looked like he was having to force it to remain there. I tried to read his face for what he was thinking, but it was impossible to tell. Finally, he shrugged and said, “I don’t think it’s weird. Ainsley wears it all the time.”

“He brings it just for me,” Ainsley added. Tiffany turned her frigid smile on her.

“But it’s different because you’re his sister.” She ran her gaze up over me. I waited for her next words.And you’re just his charity case. Or maybe she would go nicer and say I was just his best friend’s little sister—and that I should be stealing sweaters from my own brother, wherever he was right now. “And you’re just his neighbour. But if somebody looked over, they’d probably think she was your girlfriend.”

“I don’t think anybody would think that,” I said. And then I glanced at Sebastian, who was still watching me. I imagined what he might be thinking. Did the mention of me looking like I could be his girlfriend stir up the same feelings in him as it did me? Was he remembering our first kiss—how he’d run his hands over my waist, the taste of my lipgloss, my hands running through his hair?

Probably not. Because if that kiss had meant to himeven a fraction of what it meant to me, he wouldn’t have gone running back to Tiffany the very next day.

“So are we going out tonight?” Sebastian asked, thankfully pulling the conversation away from what Tiffany was asking about. She still had a sour expression on her face, and I was betting she’d been hoping that he would tell me to take the sweater off. But Sebastian wouldn’t do that. That wasn’t him. “Some of the other guys were talking about going to Fifty-Fifty.”

Fifty-Fifty was a diner about ten minutes from here that was a hangout spot for Parkhurst students. I’d never been myself since it was mostly where the popular kids—jocks, cheerleaders, that sort of thing—hung out and I definitely wasn’t part of that group. It didn’t surprise me at all that the soccer players would go there after a game.

“I’m going,” Tiffany said. She was really trying to act like she was fine again since Sebastian hadn’t reacted to her comments about the sweater, and she practically threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and forcing him into a hug.

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