Page 19 of You Belong With Me

I wondered if he came out here enough to know that I was never here, because I really wanted to say that I came out here all the time instead of admitting the truth. But now that I thought about it, this was the closest soccer field in the area, so it wouldn’t be any surprise to me that Sebastian—the most soccer-obsessed person to walk this earth—would come out here most nights.

“My house was just too loud,” I said, hoping it was vague enough that he wouldn’t catch on exactly. I didn’t want to outright lie to him, but I also didn’t want to admit the truth. “So, I thought I’d come here and get a change of scenery.”

His eyes flicked up from the books to my face and the sympathetic look in his eyes was enough to tell me that he knew exactly what I was saying. I should have figured that, with how his family life had been and how much he must have heard my parents arguing when he was hanging out with Dean, even if they tried to keep quiet in front of guests.

“Why don’t you take a break from your homework and come hang out?” he suggested. He threw the ball in the air and caught it again. “It would be fun to have someone to play with.”

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to say it so badly that it made my chest hurt. How long had I been waiting for Sebastian to notice me as a person, instead of just Dean’s little sister? Besides, I needed an in if I wanted to talk to him about the kiss. I couldn’t just bring it up out of nowhere, I needed to work it into a casual conversation andthis could be my chance. But then Tiffany’s face flashed in my mind and I knew that I couldn’t do that.

“I have a lot of work to do,” I said, gesturing at the books in front of me. Sebastian raised an eyebrow, looking unimpressed. I got the sense he was really judging my choice.

“Seriously? You’re turning down soccer for... history?”

“AP Chem,” I muttered, because for some reason that felt important.

He gave me a look. “That makes it worse.”

I gulped and then added the words I didn’t want to have to say but knew I should. “Plus, I’m not sure your girlfriend would like it.”

Sebastian frowned a little. “You an expert on what Tiffany likes?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged with one shoulder. “Nothing. Just that you seem to make a lot of assumptions about what she would and wouldn’t be okay with.”

What did that mean? I wasn’t even making an assumption here, not really. I’d heard the way Tiffany spoke about me yesterday. If that was how she felt about him giving me a ride home, I didn’t even want to imagine what she would think of this.

“I’m not making assumptions,” I said, sitting up straighter.

He narrowed his eyes slightly. “Why does it matter so much to you anyway?”

I hesitated. “It doesn’t. I just—I don’t want to cause problems.”

He laughed under his breath, and it wasn’t exactly a kind sound. “You think you’re the problem?”

“Isn’t that what she thinks?” I snapped before I could stop myself. I got to my feet and started shoving books in my bag. “You really think she’d be okay with us hanging out?”

“She doesn’t get to control who I hang out with.”

“Doesn’t she?”

“Excuse me?” Sebastian asked, his voice low. He took a step toward me and I resisted the urge to take a step back. It wasn’t that I was scared of him, but rather that I was scared of being so close to him. Scared that I wouldn’t be able to control myself if he came close enough for me to touch. Even now, I could smell his cologne so strongly that it almost made me woozy, because it was sohim.

“Don’t act like I’m being ridiculous,” I said. “Everyone knows what the two of you are like. How many times now has she broken up with you out of jealousy over another girl?”

Sebastian’s jaw ticked. “You think you know everything about my relationship?”

“I think your break-ups have been all over school enough times that I can get what makes your girlfriend angry. Forgive me if I don’t want to be targeted by her.”

He took a step closer. “You’re making this a bigger deal than it is.”

“No,” I said, heat rising in my face. “You’re pretending it’s not a big deal because that’s easier. But it is. I have to assume Tiffany doesn’t know what happened between us and?—”

“What happened between us?” Sebastian echoed,raising an eyebrow. “What exactly happened that you’re so worried about her finding out?”

I gaped at him, trying to figure if he really didn’t remember the kiss or if he was trying to pretend it didn’t happen. I knew that I was just the first of many kisses he must have had that night. But I couldn’t help the piece of me that had hoped that out of all of them, I would be the one he remembered. He was probably drinking that night, though, so maybe he really had forgotten. Maybe in his memory, I was just some random brunette in a jean skirt, just another prompt checked off on a page. Maybe him getting back with Tiffany two days later wasn’t a reflection on me and how awful of a kisser I was, but just the natural order of things. Sebastian and Tiffany had yet to stay broken up for more than a week and a half in one go. They were bound to get back together at some point soon after the party. It was just unlucky timing for me that I hadn’t gotten the chance to ask him about the kiss before then.

Or maybe it was lucky timing. Because him getting back together with Tiffany spared me the embarrassment of asking about the kiss and him admitting that he didn’t even remember it at all. At least this way, I only had to be embarrassed in my mind.

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