Page 45 of The Riley Effect

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Jalen

“Stop. Stop. No, please, Dad, what are you doing?”

Ivy’s body is shaking against mine. She keeps telling her dad that he needs to stop. I wrap her tight in my arms. “Ivy, I think you’re having a nightmare. Come on, babe, wake up.”

I don’t want to scare her so I hold her until she stirs herself awake. Her eyes slowly flutter open and she is a little disoriented when she finally wakes up.

“I think you were having a nightmare. You kept telling your dad that he should stop, and then you started shaking. Are you okay?” I rub my hand over her back, trying to help her calm down.

Ivy takes a deep breath and then sits up so her back is against her headboard. She starts to roll the sheets between her fingers. I place my hand over hers to stop her anxious movements. “Ivy, you don’t have to tell me anything. We can put on a movie or go back to bed. It doesn’t matter to me.”

A pair of beautiful brown eyes meet mine with a tenderness that only comes from living through tragedy. I lay my hand in the dead space of bed between us, palm up. Ivy laces her fingers through mine. She holds on for dear life, like we are about to ascend to the top of a roller coaster.

“Only my roommates and Coach Lee know the majority of the story of what happened to my parents but they still don’t know when it happened.” She closes her eyes before taking a deep breath. Bracing herself for the drop from the apex. “My parents died on Halloween when I was eight. I had just gone home from trick-or-treating with the neighborhood kids and my sister. She always made sure she’d be home to take me.” The smile she flashes me doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“When I got home, I went upstairs to take off my costume and organize my candy. All of a sudden, my parents were screaming at each other. They always found something to fight about when my dad drank too much.” I can’t take the look of desperation in her eyes, so I pull her closer and she places her head on my shoulder. “That night, the fighting was really bad, and I still have no clue what it was about. All of a sudden, I heard my mom yelling at my dad to stop and asking him what he was doing, and those were the last words I heard my mom speak.” She takes a deep breath,

“Then my dad shot my mom and then killed himself. To this day, we have no clue what happened while we were out. My parents fought a lot for sure, but there was never any physical violence. The next day, my sister dropped out of college and started the process to become my legal guardian. My traumatherapist suggested she get me an emotional support dog, and that’s where my love of animals came from.” She casually shrugs, like she hasn’t just shared the most heart-wrenching story I’ll ever hear.

I watch as a tear falls down her cheek and use my thumb to catch it.

“When I was a junior in high school, I asked my sister to tell me the full story of what made my dad change so much,” Ivy takes a deep breath before continuing. “My dad had a gambling problem that my mom didn’t know about. He was trying to steal from the steel mill to cover the expenses he had at home. Eventually, his bosses figured out what he was doing, and he was fired. That led to a year-long spiral of drinking instead of looking for a new job.” She readjusts her pillow so she is lying on her back, looking at the ceiling before she continues. “I was the one who found the eviction notice on the door on Halloween. I gave it to my mom, and she must have confronted my dad about it when we went out.”

“I’m so sorry, Ivy.” It doesn’t feel like enough, but I don’t know what else to say.

“Thank you, Jalen. I have seen a lot of good in my life, too. The Westvale community came together and raised enough money for Ruby to buy us a new house and have the mortgage fully paid off. I focus on the seven amazing years I had with my dad instead of the single awful one. I know he did some bad things, but I swear he wasn’t an awful person.”

I use my thumb to wipe away the tears she tried so hard to keep from breaking free and kiss the top of her head.

“Ivy, I had no idea. I’m so sorry,” I say while trying to hold back my own tears. I already thought Ivy was incredible, but knowing she accomplished all this while living through this unimaginable tragedy is inspiring.

“That’s why I was never out before this year. My sister stopped her whole life at twenty-one to raise me. So, I got good grades and was lucky enough to be able to earn a basketball scholarship to the college in our hometown. Then, when my sister lost her husband in a car accident, I knew I had to do whatever I could to be there for her and the kids. Like she was for me. So I did that by getting good grades so I can hopefully get into vet school, but this year, Ruby, Indy and Lola sat me down and told me I needed to enjoy my last year of college. So that’s why I went to your party.”

When she sinks further into my grip, I make sure to hold on to her tight. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I know that wasn’t easy.” I kiss her before saying, “I’m happy you didn’t push me away last night. As long as you let me, I’ll be there for you.”

She thanks me before she falls back to sleep. I don’t sleep for the rest of the night. I can’t take my eyes off the strongest person I’ve ever met.

I’m looking at my phone when Ivy wakes up. I won’t force her to talk about last night if she’s not ready to.

“Hey,” I pull her into my side, and she rests against my chest. “How did you sleep?”

“Um, I slept okay. Jalen…” she says hesitantly.

I stop her because she doesn’t have to explain anything to me. I was happy to be here when she needed someone to talk to. “We don’t need to talk about what happened last night if you don’t want to.”

“No, I’m okay. I just wanted you to know that you being here last night really helped. I am normally alone on the anniversary when my panic attacks happen. I can never sleep and if I do Iwake up anxious.” She takes a deep breath. “But last night, I was able to fall back asleep, and it helped me feel okay this morning. I don’t like talking about it because it’s just so heavy. I think telling someone the full story really helped,” Her voice cracks.

My heart breaks at the fact that she feels like she has to hold all this in. Nobody should have to go through life like that. “Well, if you ever need to talk about it, I’m here for you.” She looks up, and her eyes tell me she doesn’t fully believe me. “I’m serious Ivy. Please call me whenever you need to talk. I don’t care if it’s three in the morning.”

“Jalen, why are you putting all this effort into whatever this is?” she points between us.

“Ivy, you are the most interesting woman I’ve ever met,” I say, kissing the top of her head. She angles her head so that she is looking at the floor. “Hey, can you please look at me?” I ask her. She does, reluctantly. “Ivy, you are one the easiest people to talk to. You work harder than anyone I know, and you wear Jordans to parties.” That last part earns me a little laugh, and I give myself a mental fist pump for putting that beautiful smile back on her face. “Whatever you need from me, I’m here for you. I can be your friend, a listening ear, but if you want more, Ivy, I want that too.”

I mean that. If Ivy ever wanted something more from me, I’d drop everything to be with her.

Ivy runs her thumb over the bruise under my eye. “I was so nervous during that fight last night.” She hikes one leg over mine so we see each other eye to eye. “Your uncle was sitting with my family and me at the game and made fun of me for being so nervous about you. He just laughed, but I hated seeing your helmet fly off like that.”

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