Page 67 of Teach Me to Laugh

“Yes?”

“I don’t think there’s been a day since I first met you where I haven’t wanted you, in every way.”

Oh wow. Well, I wasn’t expecting that. Nor did I know quite how to reply. “Beckett,”

He dipped his head to kiss me. This time his lips on mine were slow and soft. I opened beneath him and tasted the taste that was uniquely Beckett when he slid his tongue inside my mouth, gently claiming me. His hand was still on my belly, but his body wasn’t where I needed it to be. He was on his side in the bed of blankets, beside me. I wanted him on top of me. I wanted to feel him everywhere. I wanted him to conquer me in every way. I ached for it so acutely, so intensely, I couldn’t fathom spending another minute without it.

“Please,” the word was a soft moan against his mouth. I felt his lips quirk in response and my belly dipped.

“Please?” He rumbled, the sound moving—and I mean movingthroughme.

“I want you.” I said, finally admitting the words aloud.

Beckett stiffened as he lifted his head to look down into my face. His hand was still on my belly, now motionless. His body was frozen beside mine.

“We don’t have to do that, Amara. Not yet. I don’t want,”

I cut him off. “I know you’re trying to take it slow for me, but I’m ready. I want it to be with you. I want this. Tonight.”

I couldn’t believe I had the courage to speak those words to this man. But they were the honest truth. They were raw and real. They were without regret.

This man had taken a woman who was terrified of everything—good and bad. He’d cared for me and proved to me that life could be beautiful. Happiness wasn’t something to be guarded under lock and key, but rather, happiness was meant to be shared. Since Beckett, my happiness had begun to shimmer and shine. There was no doubt it was still shy and a little hesitant, but the ease with which it showed itself was beginning to grow more and more frequent. Again, I owed this to Beckett. To his laughter, his teasing, and all the safety he’d given to me these last months.

I owed him happiness, and I wanted to gift the one thing I had that I cherished like nothing else. I wanted to gift him my innocence. I wanted to gift him my unspoken, but not any less valuable, love.

Slowly, Beckett lowered his head, pressing his lips to mine. His kiss was warm and gentle. My insides were filled with fluttering as his big hand moved over my belly, to my side—up and down. He explored me, everywhere, over the warm satin that clung to my body. And when his hand roamed north, to the heavy swell of my breast, my breath caught. He palmed me there, kissing me deeper.

Liquid heat pooled between my legs as need pulsed alive and determined within me. I craved. I craved for something I couldn’t quite explain. There was a deep hollowness pulsing almost painfully inside of me as I kissed him, my hands roaming over the smooth skin of his back. Muscles rippled beneath my fingertips as he shifted, moving his body slightly above mine. A knee slipped between my legs and I let him in, eagerly pleading without words for his nearness. I could feel his want, hard, and thick, and long, against my thigh as he continued to kiss me. I wanted him to move. I wanted him between my legs where Iknew, instinctively, I would find relief for the new build-up of sweet agony that had settled itself in the pit of my belly.

I just wanted him. This. Us.

“Beckett,” I moaned, pleading. God, if he wanted me to beg, right now, I’d beg. I needed him in a way I’d needed nothing else. Not even water after a long walk in the desert could compare.

“Are you sure, Amara?”

“Yes.”

“You won’t regret me?” His eyes were gentle, but there was a fierceness I couldn’t ignore burning in the depths. “Promise me, when it’s over you won’t shut down? You won’t shut me out?”

Pushing up onto my elbows, I pressed my lips to the corner of his. I kissed his lips, his chin, and his throat. It was at the hollow, when I kissed him one last time, that I whispered, “I promise.”

A growl of broken will sounded as he lifted his body from mine. For a moment, I was confused when he stood and moved quickly to his suitcase across the room. Then I was red in the face as I realized just what he’d crossed the room for. A small silver packet between his fingers twinkled in the light as he strode back to my makeshift bed.

His desire for me was on display, not in the least affected by his walk to his suitcase. His eyes were dark on me as his hands moved to the waist of his pajamas. And then I watched as he pushed the material from his hips, for the first time revealing himself to me. I never thought I’d ever think the male body was beautiful—but Beckett was. He was all hard coated in satiny softness.

I watched, my mouth going dry as he lowered his body to the blankets. “You can change your mind, Amara.”

Turning into him, I whispered, “I don’t want to change my mind. I want this.”

And oh, did I ever want this. Just seeing all that he was had the ache I’d felt moments earlier intensifying tenfold.

So when his hands moved to the lace hem of my nighty, and he tugged upward whispering, “Sexy as this is, it’s got to go,” I let him.

We explored one another inch by inch until there wasn’t an inch unexplored. Beckett spent what felt like hours exploring my body until the flames in the hearth were nothing more than simmering coals. Then he reached for the condom, rolled it on, and covered me with his body. My heart raced in my chest as my legs spread open for him, wrapping around his waist. He settled himself against my body, his lips against mine as he pushed slowly inside. It was when he’d rooted himself there that he whispered, “I’m in love with you,” and I knew that no matter how long I’d have lived, I’d never have found a moment as perfect as this to give the gift of me to this man.

I felt victorious. Not only had I made love to the woman I’d been aching to possess since the day I’d met her, but only minutes ago, I’d heard her soft whispered words as she lay curled against my chest, her fingertip drawing small circles into the flesh. She’d told me she loved me. If I was being honest, I hadn’t expected to hear those words from her mouth for a good long while. I’d said them because I meant them. I’d meant them with everything Ihad inside of me, and although I’d feared I’d freak her out, I couldn’t hold them inside.

So to hear her whispered confession hours later was a thing I took a moment to cherish. I took a long moment. And after that moment had been good and spent, I had to admit to myself, and the world, that I was happier than I’d ever been.

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