Page 29 of Teach Me to Laugh

So. Fucking. Beautiful.

Slowly, I repositioned myself on the couch so I was facing her. I felt likeSpidermanas I stared at her face upside-down. I felt like a super hero, and I wanted to kiss her.

The urge burned through me like wildfire. My gut ached with the denied desire, as I remained still, my face inches from hers. I wouldn’t kiss her, even though I was sure I could. I didn’t want to be another man who took or demanded anything from her that she wasn’t willing or happy to give.

But hell, I wanted her. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted any other woman, and there had been a few.

Slowly, without conscious thought of what I was doing, I lifted my hand to her small one that rested close to her face on my pillow. I covered her hand with mine and felt my heart jolt in my chest when her fingers curled around one of mine. Her eyes didn’t open and I was certain she was still asleep. I watched her for a long time as I held her hand. Then I fell asleep, still holding her soft hand in mine.

When I opened my eyes a few hours later, it was to a well-lit room and big blue eyes. It wasn’t me who was being the creeper now. It was Amara. And it was bloody adorable.

I’d caught her staring at me in sleep as I’d studied her in the still dark hours of the morning. I’d caught her and I knew she didn’t know how to respond to her current predicament.

That’s when she blushed—and fuck me, I’d bet my life savings a man never woke to a sight more beautiful.

“Oh—I,” she pushed up on her elbow, tugging on her hand, but I held tight. “Beckett, I just fell asleep.”

And the television turned itself off?My sweet little liar. “It’s fine.”

“Can I have my hand?”

“Don’t think so, beautiful.” I grinned when her big blue eyes widened even more. I never would have thought they could turn any bluer or get any bigger, but right now I was proven wrong. So wrong. “How’d you sleep?”

Her eyes flitted from our hands to my face. She looked undecided for a moment, and then she replied. Her voice was quiet and soft. So unlike my scrappy little kitten that all I wanted to do was pull her across the couch and into my arms.

“Really good. Probably my best sleep since I was thirteen.”

“Sleeping crooked on a couch was your best sleep since you were thirteen?” That churning in my gut was back.

She shook her head, looking unsure. When she’d made the decision to be honest with me, I saw it happen. I saw it happen, and I braced. “Sleeping safe was my best sleep since I was thirteen.”

“You weren’t safe with Raina?” I wasn’t trying to argue her statement. I just wanted to know what was working in her mind. I had to know . . .

Again, she shook her head. “No, I was safe with Raina. We had a few locks on our front door and I had another on my bedroom door,” she paused and I thought about the lock she’d put on the door just down the hall. “I was safe. But I didn’tfeelsafe.”

“Amara,”

She drew in a deep breath. “Believe me, being safe and feeling safe have a huge impact on how well a person sleeps.”

I had questions. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of questions. I wanted to know why she had an obsession with locks. I wanted to know what happened to make her feel she needed a lock on every door she slept behind. I wanted to know what happened after she turned thirteen that fucked so badly with her head.

I wanted to know it all, but instead I said, “I’d imagine. Happy I could be of service.”

She didn’t smile, but her lips did soften. To my surprise, she let her head drop back onto my pillow with her hand still in mine.

I dropped my head to the pillow beside hers and fought every instinct I had to stare at her the way I wanted. She shifted and I heard her blankets rustle, but she never released my hand.

“Will you talk to me?” Her voice was soft and quiet, almost sleepy. There was a sweetness to it that wasn’t there when the girl was standing, ever armed and defensive. I liked it.

“What about?”

“Anything.”

“Won’t lie; my mind kind of goes blank when I’m asked to talk about anything.”

“What do you like to do with your time when you’re not studying?”

Would you look at that? She’s trying to get to know me.

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