Page 23 of Teach Me to Laugh

“For going out, silly.” Raina giggled, eyes narrowing slightly. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” I shifted toward my ice cream desperately needing something to do with my hands. “I’m fine. Just thinking about what I’m going to make for dinner.”

She eyed me carefully before glancing at Maddy. I pretended to ignore the very obvious silent exchange between my two friends as I shoveled a huge scoop of green ice cream into my mouth.

“Okay,” she continued. “Well, Beckett says if you’re in he’s in.”

“I think he likes you,” Maddy said dreamily. There was a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips, and I wondered if she was thinking about Austin. Austin had been the one to teach Maddy to live. I don’t really know how one person can teach another how to live, considering we’re all alive and breathing, but from what I hear, their story was epic and tragic. From the bits and pieces Maddy had shared over the last few months we’ve been going to the gym, I had to agree. Their love was something rare, and beautiful, and tragic.

But the gifts he gave to her before he passed away were gifts she would forever cherish until the very end of her days. If Maddy could still smile after losing everything she had, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t find it in me to do the same. In a way,it made me feel pathetically weak. But I just didn’t smile. I hadn’t smiled in years.

It wasn’t until I met Beckett that I’d even wanted to.

“Great,” I said to Raina, making a conscious effort to ignore Maddy’s comment. “Saturday. Let me know when and where.”

“This is great, peanut.” Beckett moaned the words around a mouth full of food.

I had made a lemon chicken stir-fry for dinner. And Beckett was right. It was great.

“Thanks.”

“Where’d you learn to cook?”

“Google,” I said matter of fact. “And thenPinterest.”

He chuckled. “Well, you learn fast on your own.”

“I do everything better on my own.”

It was from the corner of my eye that I saw his jaw lock tight. He chewed. He swallowed. And then his eyes met mine. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“What way?”

“You don’t have to be lonely.”

“Lonely works for me.”

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?” I cocked my head to the side, lifting one brow.

“I know what lonely is like and it’s not all you’re cracking it up to be.”

“Youknow what lonely is like?”

“I do.”

“I doubt that.”

His eyes narrowed and I thought maybe, just maybe I’d pissed him off. Worry flared, but his voice was low when he spoke. “You think you know everything about my life, but you don’t.”

I felt my heart jump a little. “Okay, what was your life like?”

“You think I had it all—everything I wanted, right?”

I swallowed a sip of my juice. “I think you had more than I did.”

“You’d be right. I did have pretty much everything I wanted. I also had affection whenever my parents were around, but they weren’t around much, Amara. My parents are successful people, and it’s no secret that they never wanted kids. Never. I was an accident and that’s never been a secret either.”

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