Page 28 of Sacrificing Zoriah

“I will literally kiss you on live TV. I am not doing this bullshit where someone is blaming you for something you had no part of,” I say firmly as I stand up in front of him.

“Okay,” Roman says. “You do not leave my side at all for any reason. If you have to go to the restroom, we check it first. Alright?”

“Not worried about bugs?” I ask with a sweet smile, making him frown. “I understand, Rome.”

“You understand how big of a risk it is for you to be on television right now, right?”

“I do, but they are bound to figure it out anyway,” I say. “Huxley said they were moving underground, but if I cause a big enough scene, maybe they won’t make it that far, they will fuck up by trying to come after me, and we will get to find Huxley. Alive, hopefully.”

“Zoriah, making yourself a target isn’t—” Corbin starts to say.

“You didn’t see what they did to him,” I scream, scaring myself into a panic. “I know what they’re doing to him. I know he is getting hurt because I got out. He couldn’t even promise me he would see me again… He told me they would kill him, and I left him there. I didn’t try to help him. I should have helped him. I have to. I have to help him.”

Corbin is slowly stepping toward me, and the second I go to turn and run, he grabs me. “Riah. Stop.”

“Let go of me,” I cry and try to pull away.

“Son,” Dad says firmly.

“Hold on, Dad,” Corbin says. “Zoriah, stop. I am not hurting you. Listen to me.”

“Let go,” I whimper. He moves his hands to my face and makes me look at him.

“I swear on everything, we will find him. Okay? Huxley is my best friend, but you are my sister. I love you so fucking much, but I will lock you in a goddamn basement if I have to. I will not let you sacrifice yourself for his sake. He wouldn’t want that. And you know it. You know he would be upset if you got yourself stuck there trying to save him like he tried to save Haley,” he says. “We will find him, Zoriah. I promise I will bring him back to you. Please trust me.”

“They’re hurting him,” I cry. “I know they are. They make it look like we want it. They take and take and take, Corbin. He was so broken already…”

“I promise, Zoriah. We will find him, and you can help put him back together. Okay? You have to trust us and keep yourself safe, or everything he did to free you will be all for nothing.”

“Okay,” I sniffle. Corbin wraps me in a hug and squeezes tightly before letting go.

“Let’s go to your apartment,” Corbin says.

I feel like I might actually explode. We are sitting in the car beside mine, and my mind is racing. I am fidgeting and cannot sit still. I want to crawl out of my skin right now. I gasp when my door comes open but relax when I see it’s just Roman. I didn’t notice him get out. He takes my hand and slowly pulls me up.

“How do you want to do this?” he asks.

“Fast,” I say. “If you give me time to think, I’ll run away.”

“Okay. Let’s go,” he says as he pulls me with him to the door. I try to stop, but Ben gently holds my shoulders as he walks behind me.

“You are doing great,” Corbin says as he opens the door and lets us pass. Roman eventually is dragging me to the door but stops and hugs me when we get to my apartment.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“Look at me, mi amor,” he says as he lifts my chin and cups my cheek. “You are safe. You are protected. We are the only ones in this apartment with you. No one is going to hurt you. Okay?”

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Let’s go in,” he says.

Roman steps aside, and Corbin already has the door open. It takes me a moment before I can make myself walk forward. When I step in, tears roll down my cheeks. That night is playing like a movie in my head. I am picturing everyone’s faces. Their words. The memory is an old film playing on a reel, like the prologue to what should have been my demise. They never intended for me to escape. That much I know. They wanted to keep me forever, but I am here now. I am standing in a space that I used to find comfort in. I loved this apartment. It was the first place I got right out of college. The day I moved in was the first day in years I had seen Dad sober. He was so proud of me,and we stayed so busy moving and unloading that he didn’t get a chance to slow down and drink. Maybe he just wanted to give me that one day to know who he was without pain in his eyes.

I slowly retrace my steps, letting myself follow the events in my memories. It leads me to the hallway. I lay my hand on the wall and close my eyes, making myself feel this. I’m trying to not let it consume me, but it is. I can see a familiarity in Richard’s face that I hadn’t seen before now. It’s as though my brain has smashed all my trauma into one scene that played out in this hallway. I never told Haley the things her dad did on that road trip after high school. She never knew because something inside of me knew she wanted it to happen. I never told her about the comments he made about my body from the time I started getting breasts at ten or how he commented about birthmarks and scars hidden beneath my clothing he had yet to tear off. I knew the answers, but I refused to ask the question. Richard Fields is the man who has haunted my nightmares since the night he stole my mother from us.

I shove the feelings down and abruptly turn and go to what was my room. They all follow and watch as I get bags out and start piling my clothing in them. I get shoes next but make a point to leave everything Haley ever gave me. Once I am done there, I grab the book I was reading off the nightstand and pack that away. They are all watching me, but they don’t know I’ve managed to shut myself down to stop feeling this.

“Zoriah,” Corbin says as I slip past him with clothing in my hand.

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