Page 18 of The Casting Couch

A real gig.Saturday night.Half-hour slot.Opening for Mikey Delgado.

Freaking Mikey Delgado!

The guy had an HBO special and an aggressively large TikTok following where he posted hot takes about dating while wearing questionable flannel.This was the kind of show agents went to.Bookers.People with clipboards and opinions.

If I didn’t bomb, this could lead to bigger gigs.Touring slots.Maybe even the holy grail, a manager.

If I did bomb…

Well.Back to fake orgasms and edited moans for rent money.

I sighed, tossing my notebook aside and running both hands through my hair.

That was the problem.The double life.

Nights like last night made me feel like I was finally crawling out of the porn hole.That maybe I could finally leave it behind.Then reality kicked in and reminded me that until comedy started paying more than drink tickets and exposure, I still had bills and rent.Still had to pay for overpriced groceries and therapy I hadn’t gone to in months.

Porn was easy.Too easy.Fifteen hours a week, tops.And I made more than most finance bros, working eighty-hour weeks and losing hairlines by thirty.

But Jesus, it was eating me alive.

The performative grins and the mechanical sex with strangers.The camera zooming in like my internal crisis was good lighting.

I was halfway through mentally drafting a new bit about emotional detachment during doggy style when my phone rang.

I glanced at the screen.

Boys On Film- Liam Murphy

I groaned, like the building itself could hear me.

“Goddammit…”

For half a second, I considered letting it go to voicemail.Pretend I was dead.Or underground.Or in a silent meditation retreat somewhere in Big Sur.

But it was Liam’s name on the caller ID.And saying no to Liam was like trying to say no to a golden retriever asking for snacks.

With a resigned sigh, I answered.“Tell me you’re calling to offer me a job as your company therapist.I have zero qualifications and charge double.”

Liam laughed on the other end, light and sweet, like always.“Sorry, Nico.More like… we need your expertise in other areas.”

I let my head thud back against the couch.“That sounds dangerously close to work.”

“Technically, it is.”

I groaned again, louder this time.

“We think we’ve found your new scene partner,” Liam said quickly, like he was ripping off a Band-Aid.“He’s a personal friend of ours, but… he’s never worked on camera before.And we thought… maybe you could come in and help with his audition?”

I sat up straighter.“Audition?You mean… like… the actual casting couch?”

Liam hesitated.“…Yeah.The actual casting couch.”

“Wow.”I let out a dry laugh.“You want me to come down and play sexual Yoda for some poor lost soul?”

“If you don’t mind?”Liam’s voice softened.“I know it’s short notice, but… it would really help.”

I wanted to say no.I really wanted to say no.

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