Page 121 of Not That Impossible

“You are sobright, all the time, it doesn’t even seem impossible that you could get brighter. But you do. Every time. I show up, and…” He trailed off, drawing me closer. He kissed me. It was soft still, his lips more worshipful than demanding, but I sensed a growing edge to it. “You light up,” he said again. “Forme. Doesn’t matter if I’m mean, or rude, or in a bad mood. You take one look at me, and there it is.”

I shrugged. “Can’t help it.”

“Neither can I, although god knows I’ve tried.” He groaned. “I tried so hard and it was no use. I kept coming over to your house on the flimsiest of excuses, mauling you, and then running out on you.”

“Theywereflimsy excuses,” I said. Iknewit. “For the record, I loved the mauling and I would very much like to have another go. As for running out, you can stop doing that any time.”

“I was trying to do the right thing. It was incredibly hard to do when you kept getting naked.”

“Kinda my whole motivation in getting naked. Even though you said I wasn’t your type. And you didn’t want a relationship. And I was too young.” I was ticking things off my fingers. “Only worth it once. And not your friend. Didn’t have time for me. And—”

“If you want to leave,” he said, eyes wide, “I really wouldn’t blame you.”

I settled against him, making myself as heavy as possible. “I don’t want to leave,” I told him.

“Jasper, I want, so very much, for you to be happy. I don’t want to break your heart. I don’t want to disappoint you. Above all, I don’t want to be the one to hurt you. But here’s what I realised after the last time I came over, and you thought that I could possibly want Ray more than I could want you.” He took a deep breath, sliding both hands up the sides of my neck to cup my face. “I already am hurting you, aren’t I?”

“I mean…yeah.”

“I’ve pushed you away, and messed you around, blown hot and cold.”

“There has been no blowing,” I said sadly, attempting to lighten the mood, because he seemed really cut up about it

He laid a finger on my lips.

I licked it.

He smiled, a sharp warning.

I pressed my lips together and blinked at him innocently.

“And then today, in the coffee shop,” he said, “youlookedat me. You were freaking out about Ray freaking out, and I walked in. You looked up and saw me, and you were relieved. Like you were suddenly on solid ground. That’s fucking stupid. I don’t know what I’m saying. Idoknow I’m saying it wrong.” He broke off and frowned. “You saw me and you looked like, just because I showed up, things were…better. Even though Adam was there, me showing up made that difference.”

“You make everything better,” I told him when he came to a stop, his cheeks dark but his gaze unwavering.

“I’d like to try. I’m not sure the reality of me will be able to live up to your expectations, but I want to try.”

“The reality of you will be beyond my wildest dreams,” I assured him.

“No pressure.”

I smiled slowly. “You feel pressure?”

“I have a history of disappointing people, and you’re the one person in the world I least want to disappoint. Yes. I feel pressure.”

“How about now?” I said, rocking down onto him. “Feel any now?”

“Mm-hmm.” He gripped my hips and controlled my movement. “Right where I like it.”

Leaning forward to brace my hands on the back of the sofa, I bent down to kiss him.

He held the back of my neck and took control of the kiss, sliding his tongue in slow and filthy.

I kept trying to grind on him faster, harder. He kept slowing me down, kissing me deeper.

“Liam,” I said, my breathing ragged. “I want—”

“I know what you want.”

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