Page 24 of Secondhand Smoke
“Oh, my sweet baby,” her mother cooed, and Nell accepted it because she could barely react. “Thank the Lord you’re okay.”
After that, everything became muffled. She could see her father talking to the officers, quietly suggesting that this incident didn’t need to be mentioned to anyone else, and watched themshake hands and leave. She could feel her mother grab her arm and walk her to her bedroom.
Like she was outside her own body, Nell watched herself close the door, take off her shoes, and crawl under her covers.
It was the only safe place she knew. This small sanctuary where she could curl in a ball under her sheets and block out the world. Nothing could touch her there.
Just memories.
But even those could be withheld with the right tools.
It was unfortunate that the most effective tool she’d encountered was the one Barrett had given her, and she had given herself no choice but to run from it. She would have to make do.
She closed her eyes.
No. One. Is. Hurt.
No. One. Is. Gone.
They. Are. Okay.
They. Are. Alive.
* * *
Her blurry eyes and cotton mouth were what forced her out of bed in the evening.
Her mother had come in at some point, said something about food, then left.
Nell had no appetite, though. She just wanted to feel something different than the brush of her wrinkled comforter against her skin, so she rose and walked to her ensuite bathroom.
Shedding her clothes, she took care to check her pocket for the postcard she’d stolen. It was still bundled nicely in the cloth, waiting patiently to be taken out.
She gently held it up and unfolded it to get a better look, but as she did, a small bundle of cash fell out.
Nell blinked as it scattered on the ground, trying to recall where it had come from. She bent to pick it up and stared at it, counting the bills, until realization hit as she calculated the amount.
This wasn’t her money. Or rather, it wasn’t supposed to be. Not anymore.
She’d grabbed the bills last night from her allowance piggy bank before she snuck from her house and rode her bike to Barrett. This wassupposedto have been his double payment for the drugs.
Amid her high and subsequent recoil, she’d forgotten to give it to him.
She groaned and buried tired eyes into the bottom of her palm.
Her options were to pretend it didn’t exist and risk retaliation, or face Barrett again.
What was worse? Her parents finding out her secret and hating her forever, or begging Barrett to show her mercy?
She set both the cash and Sam’s postcard on the bathroom counter as a reminder that she needed to decide eventually. She turned the shower water as hot as it would go and entered the steamy downpour.
She returned to the room right after, moving the two items into their respective places—the postcard in the shoebox under her bed, and the cash on her bedside table. Wearing nothing but her undergarments, she climbed into the covers, ready to face the onslaught of nightmares.
10 - Barrett
It wasn’t the first time Barrett woke up to an empty bed after having a female guest.
Itwasthe first time he’d woken up fully clothed on the bedroom floor.
