Page 89 of All In Good Time
She loved Derek.
Not just loved him, but wasinlove with him.
And what made it even worse is that she had no idea how he felt about her. A kiss in the heat of the moment was one thing. But love?
It hurt too much to hope.
* * *
Derek was a liar.
Halloween night he’d been drunk, but when he kissed Becca, he was stone-cold sober.
You don’t forget easily when you’re sober—unfortunately. Every detail haunted him—the soft touch of her lips, the taste of her mouth, the fact that she’d kissed him back.
He’d imagined kissing her thousands of times. Lying in bed, he’d wonder what it would be like to have her against him, tofeelher.
Now that he’d had a taste, he would never get enough. The betrayal was effortless to swallow when he closed his eyes, and all he could see were her gorgeous eyes, wide in surprise, and her delicious lips red and plump from his.
He’d cursed himself to an eternal struggle between wanting hergoneforever and wantingherforever. He wasexhausted.Too exhausted to try not to want her anymore.
It was torturous to see her every day at school, pretending to be blind at the same time. A cocktail of embarrassment and returning to his old habits.
Never going inside that night after she dropped him off, he’d walked to Becca’s house, instead, in the middle of the night. There, he just stood outside, smoking a cigarette or two.
The hardest part was finding the courage to face her head-on again.
He leaned his head forward and let the shower water run over his hair, curtaining around his face and secluding him in his own world. A thin veil, because right on the other side was the muffled noise of his classmates joking and washing off their gym sweat.
They had noticed his strange behavior. Even though most people moved on from the scene at Ruby’s house, no one was as eager to approach him as he slouched forward and shut them out. It was obvious to everyone that Derek Stokes hadn’t been the same since he came back post-disappearance.
Water droplets flowed down his eyelashes, as he waited for the sound of rowdy boys to quiet. The majority exited the locker room and left to go home for their vacations. He didn’t have the same eagerness they did to be stuck at home for a week.
“Hey, Stokes.”
Opening his eyes at the sound of his name, Derek looked over through the water to where Greg stood at the edge of the communal shower, already dressed, with his gym bag slung over his shoulder.
“Party at my place on Tuesday. See you there?”
Greg had clearly forgotten the drunken brawl at Ruby’s, or was just acting like it never happened. Truth be told, it was a bit fuzzy to Derek, too, and even if it had been memorable, he didn’t care. Derek had better things to worry about.
“Sure.” Derek wasn’t sure if that was true.
“Cool, man.” Greg nodded his chin in approval, then lifted a hand in farewell. “Later.”
The door clicked shut behind Greg, and Derek finally twisted the spray off, allowing goose bumps to rise as cold air replaced the hot water.
He ran his hands over his face and wiped the drops from his eyes so he could see clearly. Locker rooms were exceptionally quiet once the echo of screeching sneakers and towel whips subsided.
His towel hung where he’d left it above a bench, and he pulled it off to wrap around his waist, crossing the rows of lockers to where his was. It would have been nice to be completely alone, but that was asking for too much.
Marty Parr sat on the bench, in the middle of tying his shoe. He looked up, spotting Derek, who held in a sigh.
They weren’t exactly on speaking terms, but Derek didn’t feel like smashing his face in all the time—an improvement between them, to say the least. Even though he technically knew Parr before he ever met Becca, Marty was just another bitter reminder of the girl he couldn’t forget. He also happened to be a person who was with her when Derek was not, which put Derek in a tempting situation, standing on the edge of a cliff.
“Hey, man,” Parr greeted him.
Derek nodded but kept the question he wanted to ask to himself. If he opened his mouth, he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to get it to close.
