Page 54 of All In Good Time
“Rebecca.”
Becca almost felt bad at the hurt in her mother’s voice, but she swallowed it down and let everything she had packed deep inside her flow out. “What gives you the right to come home and care about me before you run off to the next place? We barely talk. What makes you think I want to tell you things when you’re practically a stranger to me?”
Her mother’s brow furrowed, and Becca saw her defenses rising right before her eyes. “B, come on. That’s not fair. You know I need to work so we can live.”
“Are there not jobs for nurses anywhere closer than Michigan or Florida, or wherever the hell you’re going next? I mean, come on.” She threw her arms up in the air. She knew she shouldn’t be talking to her mom like this. She knew she worked hard to give Becca opportunities other single mothers couldn’t, but at what cost? “Do you remember when dad died?”
From the widening of her mother’s eyes, she remembered.
“You weren’t there to tell me my dad died. You didn’t even know.Ihad to be the first to know. I was the one who had to hear that my dad had died, and then you know what I had to do?Ihad to be the one to tellyou. I shouldn’t have to do that.” Frustrated tears welled in her eyes. She wiped angrily at them, hoping to stop their barrage, but they kept coming, no matter how much she tried. “That’s what a mother is supposed to do. You should have been the one to tell me and not the other way around. Maybe you think it’s unfair, but that’s how it’s supposed to work. It’s a parent’s duty to take the weight of a child’s burden, not leave me alone to bear it on my own all the time. I…I…”
Becca broke down, finally letting the tears fall freely. She hung her head and pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes as a loose sob released. “I never had a dad, and I barely feel like I have a mom.”
Her mother sucked in a gasp, and now that Becca had let everything out at her mother’s expense, the guilt started to rack up.
If her mom walked away right now, Becca wouldn’t be surprised. After everything she did for her, Becca was acting like an ungrateful brat—she was aware of that.
But her mom didn’t leave—she stepped closer. The space between them was filled with understanding and forgiveness and apologies as her arms wrapped around Becca, pulling her in.
Becca lifted her face from her hands and buried it into the solace of her mother’s grasp. It felt like forever since the last time she had been held like this—like a child in need of a mother.
She sobbed into her mother’s shoulder as she rubbed gently against the back of Becca’s head and hushed her softly.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Becca hiccupped between sobs.
“No, honey. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t been around.” She pulled away to meet Becca’s eyes. “I never knew how you felt, and I figured, since you didn’t say anything, you were okay. I’m sorry I haven’t been around to see you struggling.”
Becca had never felt like she could tell her mom things. She was constantly afraid that telling her mother about her life or normal teenage problems would distract her from her work, so she kept it to herself. Now that she had started, though, she wanted to tell her mother everything. About Derek, about his dad, about Mal. About every little thing, even if it made Mom lecture her about her choices.
“It’s not an excuse, I know it, but I’m going through a really,reallyhard time…” Becca paused, playing with her bottom lip as she gauged her mom’s reaction. She didn’t wave her away or tell her to talk about it later. Her mother’s kind smile welcomed anything Becca needed to say.
“Talk to me, B.”
So she did, and she didn’t stop until she’d said every last piece.
* * *
Her mom left after the weekend to return to her next assignment, but not before promising that, after this job, she would find somewhere local to go work—permanently.
“One month, B,” she said, with her bags in hand. They were lighter than they normally were, since she had opted to leave some of her things behind to make the transition from traveling to being stationary easier. “One month, and then I’ll be back for good. I’ll call you.”
Thus ended two days that could have been considered some of the best and some of the worst days of Becca’s life.
When they weren’t spending much needed mother-daughter time together at the mall or watching a movie, Becca was making calls to Marty’s house or casually stopping at the theater during his shift.
She wasn’t sure what she expected.
Maybe she was hopeful that he would say Derek wanted to see her now, or that he wasn’t hiding away in his room and refusing most of the food offered to him.
But that wasn’t the case. Each time she hung up the phone, she felt a little bit worse.
She even borrowed her mom’s car for the afternoon, to drop by Marty’s house.
She only tried the doorbell twice.
Once, to signal her arrival to Derek, who—according to Marty—was the only one home until his parents got back from their trip on Sunday.
Twice, when she saw the curtain shift in the upstairs bedroom window like a ghost. Hehadpractically become a ghost to the busybodies of Highburg, who had noticed his absence in the school and town.
