Page 70 of Ethereally Tainted

No one opens.

I knock harder, determined to get him to open the door. I need to talk to him, to explain everything.

I knock again, and when I hear someone draw in a deep breath from the other side, I know he’s standing there, waiting for me to say something.

“Grey?” I ask, my voice trembling despite my effort to steady it.

A wave of exhaustion washes over me, making my limbs feel heavy, and my eyelids droop, and I have to resist the urge to curl up in a ball on the floor.

Is the effort of simply being alive this exhausting? Life is draining.

“Grey? I’m sorry.” I stammer out the apology, my fingers trembling, unused to having to express regret.

With a defeated sigh, I back away right when the door opens, and Grey appears in the doorway.

“Naya is apologizing?” He grins at me, and the corners of my eyes twitch as I try to avoid rolling them.

“Guess there’s a first time for everything.”

In a split second, I look at him, and my chest tightens while my breath is gone, like all the air in the room has been sucked out at once. His chest is bare, his abs taunt me as I remember how they felt against me every time he cornered me, and I have to fight the urge not to drool. There is a slight tousle to his black-red hair, and when he runs his hand through it, I see the contours of his muscular arms. His black sweatpants are slung low on his hips, and he has the disheveled look of someone who just woke up. Maybe I woke him up.

“Are you okay?” His voice is soft and low, concerned.

I shake my head in reply, and he beckons me with his hand to enter his room. I hear my pulse pounding in my ears whenever I’m near him, and my emotions become a wild flurry. He makes me feel things I shouldn’t even be allowed to feel, things I’m not deserving of.

We haven’t been very close these months, but he’s always been there in the background, talking or looking at me. His intense presence makes me come alive, and his gaze makes me feel desired.

He simply makes me feel when I shouldn’t feel anything, and that in itself is as terrifying as if I were to jump from an airplane.

With trepidation, I step into his room, my feet dragging as I wonder what I’ve gotten myself into. I should have stayed in my room until night came and darkness fell, should have stayed there until I starved to death because that is what I deserve.

Not these beastly insects flying around in my stomach and making me feel giddy, something I will never admit out loud.

He closes the door after me before turning around. For several seconds we just stand there, the only source of light being the last glimpses of daylight shining through his window, casting shadows in the room. It takes me several seconds before I dare say something to him, but he waits patiently, never once looking at me as if I am a burden.

“Your demons call to mine, too,” I whisper into the deadly silence, one that feels like it will swallow me whole.

For it is true, and I can finally admit it to myself. I am twisted inside, and I recognize the same thing in his eyes that always seems to find mine. There are many things I want him to see in my eyes so that the atmosphere in the room can absorb all of my emotions and secrets as I let them escape through my mouth.

This is my attempt at telling him the truth about me and why he shouldn’t even bother with me. I am a lost cause, after all, always has been, always will be, no matter how many broken pieces he tries to stitch together.

My body and face are covered by his chilling stare. There’s something cold and fierce about it, as if I’m surrounded by something ferocious and safe.

After what feels like a hundred years of staring at each other, I see a flicker in his eyes. A flicker of something I cannot decipher, but something that feels like the most intense look he’s ever given me.

I see the mischievous smile on his lips right before I’m pinned against the wall, feeling his rock-solid abs against my own body. The air surrounding us is charged with something, pulsating through my veins, and I know it’s doing the same to him.

His eyes spark a flurry of naughty thoughts in my mind, and I try to squeeze my legs together to ease the tension before he firmly but tenderly seizes my arms above my head.

“I was waiting for you to say that,” he whispers.

And then his lips are pressing against mine.

Chapter 26

Grey

Before she can withdrawher mind from my actions, I tighten the grip around her hands, leaving her no room to escape this bubble we have found ourselves in. At first, her lips are tight, not quite giving in but not reluctant either. And then her lips part ever so slightly, giving me the chance to deepen the kiss as I let go of my security around her hands. The desperation I feel inside of me right now is an intense feeling, one where I need confirmation that she wants this as much as I do, that I’m not forcing her into something she doesn’t want to do.

---