Page 63 of Ethereally Tainted

“What?” I reply after a beat of silence between us.

“That knowledge that you’ve done something horrible, the guilt that lingers deep within. It’s killing you, isn’t it?”

I halt, completely taken aback by his words, and struggle to make sense of them. My heart stops along with the rest of my nervous system, and a rushing cold gradually freezes me from head to toe.

He doesn’t know, does he? He can’t know. It’s impossible.

The sweat beads on my forehead, cold sweat that makes the dizziness from earlier come back, and I feel the color disappearing slowly from my face. My hand falls to my side again, leaving the cold metal of the door handle, and all I can do is blink, the emotions inside me whirling around.

“What?”

Those are the only words I can speak, a single word that conveys shock but no other feelings or responses. I watch as his mouth lifts into a grin, and a breathy chuckle leaves his throat. There is a certain naturalness to the sound that can be interpreted as a kind of humor, but at the same time, seen as mockery. The reason for the stuttering in my breathing shoots through my body, sending tremors down to my core, and I curse myself for reacting in such a way over a mere chuckle.

When I hear this sound, combined with the relaxed appearance, put together with the close-fitting t-shirt hanging freely over his broad shoulders and muscular chest for once, I find myself fumbling for words.

Foolish woman, drooling over a guy I don’t even like.

“If you don’t shut your mouth, I’ll think you’re drooling all over me.”

“Arrogant prick,” I murmur under my breath, rolling my eyes at him, which causes another chuckle to rumble through my ears.

God, his laughter is heavenly.

I blink away my thoughts and feel my ‘what’ hanging in the air, waiting for his reply.

His face grows serious, the muscles in his face relaxing alongside his posture as he stands up, coming closer to me. He was much less intimidating while sitting down, and I have to crane my neck to look him in the eyes.

He says nothing, and I avert my eyes to the floor for a moment in a desperate attempt to collect my thoughts. His breath caresses my forehead. My heart thumps in my chest, my body tingles with anticipation as I’m pressed firmly against him. With a subtle movement, his fingers tilt my chin upwards, forcing me to meet his gaze. In the midst of this encounter, there is no way to ignore the fact that my chest presses deeper into his, and I exhale just as he is, exchanging the same breath of charged air between us. After a moment, the static pulses between my legs from the mere touch of his hand.

“I recognize the look in your eyes. The empty look that just lingers with the pain and guilt, hovers with something that dulls the glimmer filled with hope.”

I want to pull away from how he corners me–again–but I am frozen under his intense eyes, and his hands haven’t left my chin yet. His eyes are like ice, leaving me numb, but his touch sends fire coursing through my veins. It’s a weird combination that makes sweat roll down my back, cling to my shirt. His words are so accurate they’re almost eerie, and I’m not sure I can bear to let him know, so I keep my lips sealed and bite my tongue.

“Don’t lie to yourself, Naya.”

The way he pronounces my name,Na-yah, leaves a tingling sensation deep within me. I feel the warmth of his chest against me every time he takes an expanded breath, sighing as if he is content with how close we are standing.

“Your demons call to mine, little doll. And you know what they tell me?”

His breathy mint scent fills my senses, and I long for him to draw nearer so I can finally press my lips against his and taste him upon my own. To reply to him, I shake my head, still staring at him with wonder and something more. Something I cannot place for he makes my emotions act out like never before.

“They tell me what a lonely soul you have, one where you are forced to bear the blame for what happened all by yourself. You and I are the same, our demons are battling their own battles, and no one around us notices.”

As the panic subsides, I’m aware of the heavy thudding of my heart, beating faster than usual, and I know he will be able to feel it against him. The words he utters hit me like a punch to the gut, as if a knife has cut open all the healed yet scarred and broken wounds inside my soul.

Then, a seething anger overtakes me, slowly spreading until it fills every corner of my being. How dare he say those words about me? As if he has the nerve to make assumptions about me. I glare at him with intense hostility, taking deep breaths to steady my nerves and calm myself down, knowing he is far more lethal than I am.

“You know nothing about me,” I retort with as much venom as I can muster while holding my chin down.

Do not show any weaknesses.

The truth is, he is right. His words hit far too deep within my soul, so deep that it would take an entire year to dig out those emotions, but they are still there.

It’s back again, a breathy chuckle filled with humor and mockery. He takes in my two-colored eyes, and I sense recognition in his silent gaze as if he can smell the truth in them. His finger leaves the grip he had under my chin and places his hand above my heart instead.

“There is darkness in here,” he gently taps against the skin right where my heart is. “A darkness far more lethal, one that will only be harder to control with the years as rage and coldness settle in deeper. Believe me, I know. And your heart is as blackened as mine. That’s what makes it so beautiful, little doll. We’re ethereally tainted.”

“Why do you insist on calling me that?”

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