Page 49 of Ethereally Tainted

As her lips part, she stares straight into my eyes; one has a deep gray color while the other is solid golden brown, and they both scream in the silence I know is erupting in her head.

“Are you okay?” I prompt, surprised at my actions to care about someone else.

Had it been anyone else, I wouldn’t have given a shit, so why do I care now?

Right now, I feel nothing but numbness and that curse she has put me under, but I know that as soon as I am left alone in my room, the chaos will arise, and my thoughts will burn in a whirlwind.

She manages a small nod, so subtle that I would have missed it had I closed my eyes. In return, I offer her a smile in an effort to make her feel safer with me. My rage is a force that can’t be contained, leaving only destruction in its wake.

A flurry of voices erupts around us, accompanied by the loud laughter of Alex and his shitty friends at one table, as well as the guard’s demands to find the girl and bring her back to the cafeteria. She visibly shrinks away when I look at her, her body becoming rigid as she curls in on herself.

“Are you okay?” I ask her again, my fingertips barely grazing her cheek as she closes her eyes and leans into my touch. She doesn’t seem to notice what she’s doing, and I quickly snatch my hand away.

“I want to get out of here,” she whispers, her voice barely audible as she struggles to keep her composure.

It only takes a second to change lives, a single decision that can change everything until nothing can return to the way it was before. And at that moment, I do the only impulsive thing that comes to mind as I watch her unease; I grab her cold hand in my warm one, noting the size difference.

“Follow me.”

It is more of a demand than a request, but it works since she nods her head and follows me out of the reception and away from all the people.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I’m fine,” she speaks in a hushed voice, as if she’s embarrassed by the way we hold hands.

“I want to.”

“Oh.”

My eyes drift over to hers and she quickly averts her gaze, yet I still detect the subtle blush of color on her cheeks.

We walk in silence as I lead her through a corridor separate from the other wings of the institute. While this corridor has many rooms, those are not particularly suitable for patients to sleep in. I don’t know the exact purpose of these treatments. The walls are covered in a light brown color, about the same color they use inside the library on the other side of the building. Half of the walls here are in a lighter brown, while the lower parts are bright white color and make the walls look split in half. The floors are solid white stone everywhere in the institute, but here they are checkered, and they seem to go on forever along this corridor. The floor is designed to match the walls, with alternating squares in a checkerboard pattern–one square white, the next square light brown.

Meandering down the hallway, the sound of our steps echo in the space around us while I hold her hand. Something awakens within me, something I haven’t felt come to life in a while, if ever. When I realize how long I have been holding it, I quickly let it go, not wanting to face my emotions. Taking a step ahead of her, I show her the way to the door after we turn right down the hallway. This is a corridor that few people know about, and one I found randomly during one of my meltdowns, where everything felt hopeless. With a loud squeaking complaint, I push open the heavy door that needs to be anointed before the pleasant summer breeze wafts against us. Thankfully, the sun radiates its warmth from above, and there is no sign of the predicted rain, which is a relief. Her face is aglow in the sun’s golden light, and her joyous smile is as radiant as a beam of sunshine.

We exit the building and venture out into the yard beyond, a remote area with no guards in sight and difficult to access due to its distance from the trees and bushes surrounding it. The lush greenery and chirping birds provide a calming atmosphere for getting away from the noises inside the institute.

I hear a gasp of wonder escape her lips as she takes in the sight of the shining sun, its light slipping away from her like a beloved friend and the wind whispering softly against her cheeks.

“Is this the part where you murder me?” She jokes lightly, and my fucking god, it’s as sweet as the sound of the brook murmur mingling with the sound of a beautiful birdsong flowing into one in flawless harmony.

Her smile illuminates her face like a hologram, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere in even the gloomiest of places. I never want to forget the feeling of looking at her, one that brings me an overwhelming feeling of dread that I may be abandoned one day. Even though she is a stranger and has no idea of the depths of my feelings, I cannot help but dread the thought of her deserting me.

To answer her sarcastic question, I shake my head, trying to roll back my lips to hide a smile hinting to show.

During the day, the sun shines brightly most of the time, but if I look out into the horizon, I can spot the clouds that steadily begin to take over, almost as if they are teasing us with what’s to come.

“Come,” I whisper in her ear to see how she reacts.

And very true, I observe as a shudder takes over, her cheeks flushed from embarrassment, and a smirk graces my lips in amusement. Taking this moment of peace, I allow the anger to subside, not letting anything come in and ruin this brief moment of peace. I’ve been steadily watching her from afar for three months.

With our feet exposed to the ground, we venture through the high-reaching trees. The smell of old tea leaves stored in wooden cupboards gives me a sense of energy and a refreshing aroma of freshness. By not talking to her, I let her come down from the anxieties she experienced before, letting her decide when she’s ready again. Honestly, I don’t know what’s come over me, but for a single day, I’ve decided to give it all up and be carefree. I’ve never followed the rules here, and today I’m determined to escape the stale routine of the institute and find some new sights.

The sun is starting to set behind a featureless gray blanket of low clouds at the same time as it darkens in the sky, removing sunlight from the girl’s face and hiding her freckles in the shadows. As the sun fades into the clouds, a cold wind arrives, and I hasten my steps, branches snapping under my bare feet, creating a type of pain I can’t bear to care about now.

“Where are we going?”

Her angelic voice mesmerizes me; it’s as if it was sent down just for me to hear.

Further on is the tall fence surrounding Dankworth Institute’s imposing building, a fence meant to keep the patients inside the yard they’ve been forced into, but what they don’t know is that there’s a small hole hidden behind a bush that leads to a lake. After getting to the fence, I hold the branches aside to let her pass through the opening without being hurt by the thorns. She smiles timidly before looking at the small lake, which is more akin to a pond.

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