Page 14 of Ethereally Tainted

Can he see my soul through my eyes? See the fucked up part of my inner self that I’ve never admitted to anyone, let alone myself?

“Oh dear, you have been unconscious for forty-eight hours. Don’t you remember anything before your accident?”

I gape at him, my ears ringing from his voice, trying to understand what he is saying.

Forty-eight hours, what the fuck?

I stare back into his eyes, hoping it makes him as uncomfortable as it makes me.

Can he feel the way something crawls beneath his skin? Can he, too, feel cold sweat breaking out of his armpits?

Then the last sentence he said crashes into my mind, like an airplane crash-landing with no chance of rescue.

“What accident?”

It hurts to utter the words because I cannot remember anything before coming here. The last thing I remember is Everlee not being inside the room we shared. Then, just a void of darkness.

“Dear, you were in an accident, and thus you were sent here for the best evaluation.”

That same smile appears on his face, one more disconcerting than the master’s, and I have a strong feeling that he isn’t telling me the whole truth. It seems that I will have to be even more mindful and attentive than I typically am.

He stands up and pats his suit as if brushing off the dirt that isn’t there, and his gaze is so powerful that it feels like I’m a small child being reprimanded.

“We will come to retrieve you in a few hours when we have the room ready for you. Until then, stay here.”

Where else would I fucking go?I feel the urge to scream at him, but I manage to control my temper and emotions. A scorching stare emanates from the guard as Mr. Ricci makes his way to the door. When he closes the door, his eyes linger, and I feel his stare weigh heavy on me.

He pauses and looks at me one last time, his voice fading away as the door shuts entirely.

“Welcome to Dankworth Institute.”

Chapter 5

Naya

Seconds, minutes, hours. Everythingmerges into one, and the darkness never disappears. It’s a constant being that meanders around endlessly with no certainty when it will end, and I’m now living under darkness.

A small part of me hoped I would never be exposed to confined spaces again, but it was foolish of me to think that way. I can sense the air growing tighter as the walls narrow in on me. Each organ in my body feels like it’s being squeezed shut and will soon stop working due to this sense of entrapment.

At Grimhill Manor, I always managed to keep myself busy with something, whether it be sneaking around or being too lost in my thoughts, and I almost always kept myself out of trouble. I knew then that the only way to keep the shadows away was to keep my mind occupied deliberately. My roommate-even though she is younger than me–always helped me keep my thoughts at bay with her sunshine presence. Now I have nothing like that, and the air is thick with loneliness, making me unable to breathe as this is the most intense feeling of solitude. Loneliness has never bothered me; on the contrary, I’ve found it too difficult with crowds of people around me. When a multitude of people surrounds me, the sound of their voices rises and falls, creating a chaotic symphony of sound that fills my head.

I’ve always been a lone wolf, seeking calm in empty rooms without company. But right now, I wish I could be enveloped in overwhelming voices instead of this deep and chilling silence that settles in my bones.

A feeling of claustrophobia swells inside me, making the walls seem to shrink and the pressure of my impending breakdown mount. If the walls crushed my body, maybe then the silence would finally stop shattering me from the inside out.

Everything that has happened is because of that man Emilio Ricci, who trapped me in this faraway basement and must be held accountable. An inexplicable fury surges through me, causing my fists to clench as I prepare for revenge. I’m done waiting for good things to come when they never do. I’m done with letting life treat me the way it does. It’s time I get my revenge and hurt people as I have hurt. When he comes back to retrieve me, I will make sure to crush his skull with my bare hands or better yet, knock him to the ground until I can step on it and hear it crack beneath me.

Oh, what a delight it will be.

My violent thoughts should worry and unsettle me deeply, but they’ve never frightened me. They are second nature to me, belonging to my personality and skin. Violence has been a constant thing in my life since I was a child, but I let no one see them, and no one ever paid enough attention to notice such small details.

Until one day, it was impossible to hide the violence that had grown inside me throughout the years in the dark.

My grandparents loved me; perhaps they loved me too much not to dare let me go. Sometimes I cannot help but wonder if they would still have been alive had they not taken me in. She took them from me. My mother killed them. They left me in the dark for as long as I needed them to, yet they cared but never knew how to love me right. They should have gotten professional help because maybe that would have helped me now as an adult.

A rush of adrenaline that sends blood coursing through distant capillaries overpowers me, making my body throb with fear. The only thing I can do is rock back and forth as I try to focus on the number of times I do so, only to keep my thoughts at bay and anxiety far away from my mind.

I may want Mr. Ricci to suffer and watch the life drain from his pointless eyes, but it wouldn’t be a smart move. Not yet. Grimhill Manor taught me to always be on my best behavior, and I intend to fulfill that until I have a good chance of escaping. Until then, I have to bide my time.

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