“I’d rather sleep alone tonight,” her voice sounded from underneath the covers. “You can take the sofa.”
“I tore the sofa apart,” I murmured, now regretting my decision.
“You can sleep on what’s left of the sofa,” she replied dryly and turned away, leaving a trail of her undulated hair where her face used to be.
I understood the request and motivation. I was not dignified to share her bed that evening and had to respect her decision. So I stood and withdrew slowly until I reached the door.
“Do I have your permission to leave the bedroom door open?” I asked. She may very well have the bed but I wasn’t prepared to abandon her for the night completely.
“Uh-huh, “Anwen replied from underneath the covers.
After slamming myself with every insult I remembered, cursing myself for my stupidity and idiotic urges, I went into what remained of the kitchen. Trying to redeem myself, I opened the fridge and prepared a mixture of ice which I put into one of those bags that closed with a seal at the top and wrapped it in a clean towel.
I didn’t dare enter the bedroom without permission, so I knocked again.
“What?” Anwen asked. She hadn’t changed position.
“I brought ice,” I explained. “For the wound I caused.” I remembered that nothing felt better than an ice bath after long hours of training, it had a pleasing effect on bruises and cuts and left the body refreshed for the next session.
“What?” she half stood from bed, finding me in the darkness.
“From when I took you against the door. For when I hurt you.” May the goddess kill me on the spot, I hated myself for saying those words, for being such a brute with the person I loved most.
She sighed. “You didn’t hurt me, it was just...bad timing,” clearly finding it difficult to explain herself. “I wasn’t ready,” Anwen repeated.
“Ice is good for wounds,” I tried to explain.
“Ansgar, I don’t have a wound. It just felt uncomfortable so I needed to stop. I’m fine.” She turned slightly, raising her eyes from under the cover to spot me by the door, nervous and unmoving. “I’m fine,” she dragged the words to make me understand. “Plus, I can’t really shove ice into my vag, can I?” she half grinned at my lack of sense.
I looked at her, not knowing what to say, apart from how sorry I was. Which she heard a hundred times over and had ordered me to shut up.
“Good night,” she filled the silence.
“Good night,” I repeated and withdrew from the room.
I couldn’t shut an eye, so for the remainder of the night, I listened to her breathing and shifting in bed, stepping inside the bedroom every half of the hour to make sure she was alright.
A soft knock announced the arrival of the morning and though we did not have a clock any longer, due to my rage fit the night before, I assumed the time for training had arrived.
“One sec,” I whispered and stood from the nook I created during the night. Luckily, one of the sofa pillows hadn’t been shattered like the rest of them so I used that and some of the filling from the rest of the pillows to make some sort of laying place. I used it to comfort my back against the outside bedroom wall, just by the door, all the while checking on Anwen with rhythmic precision.
I hurried to the door and opened it quickly, preventing Marreth from having to knock a second time and wake my lady.
“Morning,” he greeted me with excitement but at the sight of my face and the shattered background around me, his eyes went wide.
“Care to explain?” he asked with a raise of his eyebrows.
“Maybe on the way there, my mate is still sleeping and I don't want to wake her,” I communicated in a hushed tone. I hurried back to the bedroom, tiptoeing around the bed, and found Anwen resting, wrapped in the duvet just the way she liked it. Unable to contain myself, I pressed a small kiss on her cheek, soft enough to let her continue her sleep undisturbed. There were no words in the world to express my apologies, so I referred to the next best thing and used whatever energy I had in me to grow her a bouquet of white roses with the biggest petals I had probably ever created and left them on the unoccupied side of the bed, then stepped away and returned to the commander.
He grinned and shifted to the side, allowing me room to exit. I did so reluctantly, part of me wanting to make sure Anwen was feeling better before I left, but I assumed rest would do her more good than seeing my face right now, so I closed the door behind me slowly and followed the commander through the halls.
His smirk permeated for so long that I had to ask. “You look satisfied,” I posed the question as an observation.
“Me?” he grinned wider. “You’re wearing the same clothes as last night, or well...what’s left of them,” he replied with amusement. “The room is destroyed and you are very concerned with giving your lady time to rest.”
“And?” I huffed, turning to the right just after he did and following the commander into deeper terrain.
“Someone had a busy night,” he observed with delight.