Page 34 of Tales of Fire and Embers

I started counting again.

“I am home.”

Anwen.

“I belong here.”

Mother.

“I…” Who was I forgetting? It was on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t remember.

Why?

Why?

Come on Ansgar, you can do this. Just like in the training ring. Breathing is everything. Focus on the small details, focus on the opponent’s body language. Simply react to their movements. This needed to be the same. Wait, and react.

Let’s start again.

Mother…

And... someone. Someone I forgot. Why did I forget? What was the name? It sounded nice, it made me happy to say it, I remembered an overall sense of joy caused by that word. Like being in love. My mind went blank. Suddenly there was no ring, no opponent. Just me. Alone on a field, somewhere. With only my breathing and a sensation of calmness. Something was telling me to fight it, but I was left wondering why. Was it truly worth it? Why not just give in?

What was I saying?

Oh yes.

“I am home, I belong here, this is who I am.”

I smiled proudly, content with myself for remembering the words which I could now repeat just like the male wanted me to. He did it with me, these words connected us somehow. He stood there, right in front of me, hands on my shoulders, holding me steady as his eyes scanned me.

I smiled even wider and gleefully repeated, feeling a sense of joy for making him proud. I felt grateful for the support, for the way he cared for me, holding me in place like that, making sure I could hold my own.

“Where are you?” he stopped the chanting repetition and asked.

“Home,” I replied gladly, which caused him to exhale. It looked like he had kept it in for a long while.

“What are you feeling right now?”

“Relaxed,” I answered immediately, without having to think twice.

“Thank the god, this initial state of mind will form your entire personality. I wish the general were here to see you. To see this,” he added with a bit of regret.

“He is not here?” I wanted to make my new friend happy and if he wanted to go and see the general, I would follow. Before I had a chance to offer, he continued.

“He’s with that pretty cunt you always cry about. Well, used to cry, we’ll get you a few nice fireling females to warm you up. Maybe even the queen will take a spin, she looked interested enough,” the male smiled and his eyes sparkled.

“The queen is my cunt?” I frowned in confusion. My mind felt blank and unable to put his words together.

He laughed, amused. “Don’t let the king hear you say that. No, the general is with someone else. Someone who doesn’t matter to you anymore,” he replied with surprising content.

I wanted to please him, and he kept repeating about this general. I wanted to insist, to go find him and show him whatever it was that I needed to.

“I don’t understand,” I insisted, but instead of keeping the joy on his face, my words brought a frown.

“I hate it when you are like this. It's worse than having younglings around,” he sighed and sensed that I wanted to keep asking more questions because he explained. “Our general, Rhylan, is with your human, doing whatever he wants, as the general does.”

“I have a human?” my turn to frown came.

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