Page 62 of Tales of Earth and Leaves

“What happened?” I enquired, scanning his face. He looked tired and his eyes were slightly red, the capillary veins plummeting in the whites of his eyes. He had been crying.

“Ansgar,” I stood up, my hand instinctively caressing his jaw. “What happened?” I repeated.

“Nothing,” he dismissed, but his look was regarded, dark shadows straining his vision that rippled more saddened than ever. “Just had a fight with the King, is all.”

Only my boyfriend could come to bed at four in the morning, after having visited some magical kingdom of faeries and say that he had a fight with a king as if it was the most casual thing.

“Was it a fight with the King or an argument with your dad?” I wanted to clarify.

“Both, this time they went hand in hand,” he puckered his lips, a shade of regret portraying his features.

“I am sorry,” I whispered, taking my turn to plant kisses on his neck. I brushed his unbraided hair to the side and started at the shell of his ear, trailing down.

“Anwen, I…” he stopped, swallowing his words and breathing them out, as though he wanted to send the unspoken sentence away from his mind.

“You…” I murmured, unbuttoning his shirt, sewing small kisses along the way.

He stopped me and cupped my face. I smiled softly at him, but his eyes pierced deeper, penetrating, like they wanted to bare my every thought.

“Hie vaendrum teim fahrenor,” he whispered, the words barely allowed to escape his lips before meeting with mine in a pressing kiss.

Yet another phrase I did not understand. He was doing it more and more often, allowing his language to fall through. This time, it sounded different. His words marked me, even though I could not decipher their meaning, they slid from his mouth and into the tunnels of my soul.

I tried to push, but Ansgar was not willing to talk about whatever happened during his visit, albeit he seemed to be more than willing to explore more of my body and after two matutinal orgasms, I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up hours later to the delicious smell of toast and melted butter that came from the kitchen and I heard Ansgar having some sorts of a disagreement with the coffee machine. I admired his bravado, whenever I showed him a piece of technology he would listen carefully to my description, ask a few questions and instinctively start to use it after a demonstration or two. His favourite one so far had been movies and the way the laptop streamed them but something about the coffee machine made him lose his malleable temper and curse through his breath at the pods. Wanting to save him, I hurried downstairs.

“Good morning,” I said and touched his back. I glued my lips to his shoulder for an eager kiss. Ansgar relaxed under my touch, a low breath released from him as he turned and kissed my brow, then my nose and finally, my lips.

“Good morning to you too, fahrenor,” he replied, then sighed and pointed to the coffee machine. “This devilish creation does not swallow the beans like it should,” he accused.

Of course it wouldn’t, he had jammed the water filter with ground coffee. I chuckled internally, then asked him to allow me to do it while he finished the toast and bacon. Two minutes later, a latte macchiato and an espresso released tiny steams on the table. We sat in front of our plates. I was very hungry, I realised after the first bite into the toast, and started excitedly chewing on a piece of bacon that smelled and tasted amazing. Ansgar looked at me, not touching his toast.

“Can we talk?” he captured my attention from a second piece of bacon that made its way into my mouth.

“Surmm,” I half replied, struggling to chew all that food at once.

He paused, letting me finish and give him my full attention, which, after a huge gulp, I did.

“Remember when I told you about mates?” he asked, his features too serious for this to be a good conversation.

“Yeah....” I replied hesitantly. I remembered what he said about having to find a mate after he left the forest and get married, like his older brother had.

“What is your opinion on mates?” he asked with the same seriousness lighting his soft features.

I puckered my lips, giving my brain a moment to think. From what Ansgar had described to me and what I had read on the internet, their version of mates looked similar to our version of soulmates. A person created for another, two souls that would fit together and make a full circle. I did not know what to think of it, I had never seen it in real life, except in books and all the romantic comedies ever made, but not in a real couple because it seemed unreal, too good to be true. Two people coming together as one, joining hands in the long journey through life, supporting and caring for one another every second of every day. I wasn’t the most experienced person in the realms of love, the only time my insides fluttered, as love is described, was with Ansgar.

“Why are you asking me this?” I startled all of a sudden.This is it, my brain alerted the rest of me of its realisation, he was leaving me. To go find his mate. I would losehimtoo. My entire body tensed at once and the food I so eagerly devoured earlier wanted to make its way back, but I swallowed hard, trying to keep it in. Tears came into my eyes but I blinked rapidly and grabbed the coffee to take big sips and push down that lump in my throat.

He looked uneasy, his body language stressed and he fidgeted and made tiny scratches on his toast with the butter knife.Oh my god, he was leaving me. My heart started pulsating frantically and I felt bile rising in my throat. Desperation came over me and gripped every muscle. My lungs forgot how to drag in air and pain bloomed inside my torso. A clawing pain that was taking control of me, rapturing my feelings into nothing. I gasped and tried to allow breath into me but it would not come, my neck muscles squeezed tight and in pain, blocking every inhale I tried to take. I would lose him. I would lose Ansgar just as I lost my brother. Because I’d dared to love again.

“Anwen?” his eyes grew wide on me and when I met them, tears started pouring down my cheeks.

“Anwen?” I heard his voice, worry seeping into it as he pushed his chair back and materialised by my side the next second. “Anwen, what is happening?” He pulled me in his arms and I let myself fall to the ground, his shape the only support I wanted. I couldn't breathe. The air pressed heavy. All around me. Crushing me. On my skin. Touching me and pushing down upon my chest, trying to crush me under the weight of nothingness.

“ANWEN!” I heard Ansgar shout my name, grabbing my face and forcing me to look at him, trying to capture my attention but I barely saw him anymore. The world around me was slowly fading into darkness. All I could do was choke on my breath, my insides hard as cement.

“Anwen, breathe,” he commanded and with a swift movement, the fae prince pressed his lips on mine. Not to kiss, I understood as a swirl of air came forcefully pushed down my throat and into my lungs. Then another. It was all I needed, the impulse of a breath, a breath that he had given back to me.

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