Page 104 of Shifting Gears

He slowed down his brand-new purple Chevrolet Suburban, which sported twenty-four-inch fully chromed Forgiato rims, fitted perfectly in brand-new tires. I glanced over in his direction as he cruised beside me while I walked down the cracked sidewalk and gave him a nod.

He drove ahead and pulled over. As I approached, his front passenger door was shoved open.

“Well, damn. I know my name’s Casper, but I didn’t think I’d be the one spotting a ghost today. Get in, man. Gotta catch up,” Billy said as he looked over the tops of his shades at me.

I stopped and rolled the duffel bag off my shoulder. Not too many people, even in the block, knew Billy Crystal was only his street name. Even less knew his real name was Casper.

“Toss it in the back, but watch the leather seats,” Billy said as he leaned back in his seat.

I opened the passenger door and set the bag down on the floorboards.

The interior was a deep tan, with LEDs underneath the seats. A couple of subwoofers in the back caught my eye. I bet if he turned up the bass, they could make the windows shatter.

Leave it to Billy Crystal to have the nicest ride on the block. Guessed that was what you could get with the amount of money you made from slinging dope.

“Damn, you got all the works in this whip,” I said as I closed the back door, a little too hard.

“Yo, easy on the door, Godzilla,” Billy called out.

I got into the passenger seat and closed this door easier than the last. I was used to closing the doors on cars I either stole or were old enough that you had to put a little elbow grease in it for them to close on the first try.

He pulled off the side and drove deeper into the Barrons’ block.

“So, you actually came back for the chick, huh? Didn’t think to hit me up?” he said as he came to a stop at a light.

“Had a lot on my mind. Don’t worry, I know I owe you,” I said as I tucked my hands into my hoodie pocket.

“Yeah, you do. I think I’ll need therapy from that girl’s trauma dump. So, let’s start tonight,” Billy said as he looked over at me.

“Can’t tonight. I gotta take care of something. I’ll settle up soon,” I said as a group of guys, all sporting purple in their clothing in some way, gave nods toward the SUV.

“Clear your calendar. Because you are riding with me tonight. I’m meeting a guy at a nightclub who wants to buy a bunch of product, and I need you there so nobody tries to steal it off me,” he said as he gassed it off the line from the light.

“Fuck, and it can’t wait a night? Who did you have going with you before I showed up? Have them do it,” I snapped. I knew pushing back was dangerous with a gang member, but I wasn’t too worried that Billy would get man enough to actually do something about me telling him no.

“Busy now that you’re back in town,” he said as he pulled up to a house at the end of a cul-de-sac and put the car in park. “Like I said, you owe me. I’m just collecting my debts. You can get your dick wet another night.” He pushed open his door and hopped out, pausing to look back inside at me before he closed it.

“Hang tight. We got more to talk about before we head out. There’s a joint in the glove box. Smoke it and relax.”

With that, he shut the door and made his way up the driveway we were parked in front of, disappearing inside the front door.

It’d been ages since I’d smoked weed, and right now, it didn’t sound like such a bad idea. I popped open the glove box and saw a few blunts inside with a lighter. I grabbed one and smoked it, letting each pull sit in my lungs for a minute before exhaling. Especially with my mind running around, trying to figure out what I would say to Rosalie when I saw her. Shit, or what I’d do if she told me to fuck off and never talk to her again.

If I could get her alone, if she gave me a chance to explain everything, I’d tell her I was sorry. Sorry that I had been stupid, not trusting that I could keep her safe after everything had happened. That I’d been afraid of things like that happening again. Sorry that I’d made her feel like I didn’t love her or that she wasn’t enough for me—because Rosalie had always been more than I deserved.

She was the best fucking thing that had ever happened to me, and I allowed my fears to get the best of me when push came to shove. I had taken the easy way out and run from the one woman who never deserved to be abandoned.

If she gave me another chance, I’d show her just how wrong I had been. I’d prove to her every goddamn day that I wasn’t going anywhere ever again, that she was it for me and always had been.

She probably wouldn’t believe me at first. Maybe she would do everything she could to push me away and never give me the chance to make things right.

But I won’t give up. Not on her. Not on us.

I’d make it right.

Somehow, someway, I’d make it all right.

Losing Rosalie once had broken me. There was no way I could go through it all over again.

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