Page 86 of Misery In Me

Knowing I don’t have much time, I shuffle through the photos, finding the one of her topless. I groan, leaning back onto my pillow as I unbutton my pants, shoving my hand down my boxers and giving myself a firm tug.Fuck. I lay her picture on my chest and reach for the bag with her thong, taking it out and lose it when the scent of her pussy hits me.

I needed this more than she could ever know. With all the bullshit of being out here and away from her, this was a much-needed surprise.

Wrapping her thong around my shaft, I pick up the picture and stare into her eyes as I stroke myself. This woman is my everything and when I get home, I’m never going to let her forget how much she means to me. I go a little quicker than I normally would, what with not having the luxury of complete privacy and not needing to edge myself, because let’s be so fucking real. Being here for three months without her pussy or mouth is enough edging for me.

My balls tingle and I realize that I don’t want to come all over one of the few reminders of her I have. “Fuck,” I pant as I set aside her thong and pull down the front of my pants, grabbing one of my dirty undershirts to come into. Reaching down, I stroke rough and fast, holding up her picture and imagining I’m inside her. “I fucking love you, Ale. Soon I’ll be home and all this will be inside you.” I choke out a few grunts, throwing my head back as I spill into my palm, the cum dripping down my shaft and pooling on my groin.

Two more fucking months of hell. Then I’ll be home with my girls.

THIRTY-FIVE

ALEJANDRA

Twenty Weeks Pregnant

I sit at the desk in the spare room, the laptop camera focused on me and Zoe, and Pedro, who is beaming with excitement on the other side. Today is his eighteenth birthday, and I can’t help but feel a pang of pride and nostalgia. “Feliz cumpleaños,hermanito,” I say, my voice soft. Juanita is by his side, and she looks so happy, the same happiness mirrored in Pedro’s eyes. They’ve been through so much, but they’ve come out stronger.

Pedro finally came clean about how Tia wasn’t treating them right and all she wanted was the extra money from me. And while some of it was going towards making sure my siblings had what they needed, a majority of it wasn’t. It breaks my heart to know that I had them in a position where they were being mistreated and that I was being used as a personal bank, funding who knows what.

In his hands is the envelope I mailed a week ago. “Open it, Pedro. A little something to help you start your adult life.” Gage and I sent him some money apart from the money we send for Juanita and him, just so he has a little extra to do something special, just for him. Pedro opens it, his eyes widening insurprise. “Ale, you guys didn’t have to do this,” he says, but I can see the gratitude on his face.

“We wanted to,” I reply, smiling. “And look at you, so grown up now. I’m so proud of you, Pedro. Keep making me proud, okay?”

I show off Zoe to them, who is reaching toward the screen and drooling up a storm, and rub my growing belly. “Your little niece or nephew is growing fast,” I smile and they both laugh with me. “We’ll have to plan a trip to see you guys when Gage comes home. Maybe for a little vacation. Then I can help you get your apartment set up. I bet it’s a mess.”

I’m not even joking either. Knowing Pedro, it’s a hot mess.

Later,I sit down to write an email to Gage, giving him some updates on Zoe and my video call with my siblings. I tell him about the ultrasound appointment I have later today and that Morales’ wife is accompanying me. I promise to send him an ultrasound picture as soon as I get home. I hit send and take a deep breath, ready to face the appointment.

I wish he were here to do this with me.

At the OB clinic, the ultrasound technician greets me warmly. “Ready to see your little one?” she asks, and I nod, nervousness bubbling inside me. I look at Rebecca, who gives me an encouraging smile as she takes Zoe from me. As the technician moves the probe over my belly, I see the blurred image of my baby on the screen. It’s a surreal experience, seeing this little life growing inside me.

Quisieraque tu papá estuviera aquí para verte, bebé.

“We want the baby to be a surprise,” I tell the technician. “So, please don’t show me the gender.” She smiles understandinglyand nods, continuing the ultrasound without revealing the baby’s sex. I listen to our baby’s heartbeat, strong and steady. This is real. We’re having a baby, and soon, I’ll hold my little one in my arms.

“Oh, Ale, they are perfect!” Rebecca sighs. “Ugh… this is making me want another one. Victor is gonna hate me when he gets back.” She throws her head back, laughing.

We step out of the clinic, the ultrasound pictures safely tucked in my bag, and head home. When Rebecca leaves and as soon as Zoe and I are settled, I log onto the laptop so I can video call with Gage. His face appears on the screen, tired but happy to see me. “Hermosa,” he says, his voice a mix of relief and longing. “It’s good to see you.”

I miss him so much.

Don’t cry, Ale.

Too late, the hormones are such a fucking bitch and I cry. “I miss you,cariño. I wanted you there at the ultrasound so badly. I’m so lucky Rebecca could go with me, but it was you I wanted.”

“I know,amor.Soon I’ll be home and I can go to the appointments with you and then, before you know it, they are going to be here.” Then Gage takes a few minutes to give me updates on their situation, telling me that things are relatively calm but can change daily. I nod, understanding the unpredictability of it all.

“And how are you holding up?” I ask, concerned.

He smiles weakly. “I’m okay. It’s harder than I could have ever imagined being away from you and Zoe, but I know it has to be done.” I pick up Zoe so Gage can see her and he smiles, telling her how much he misses her. She gurgles and coos, reaching out to touch his face on the screen. It’s a bittersweet moment, seeing them interact from a distance.

“Okay, now show me our baby,Hermosa.”

I stand up, putting Zoe back in her little activity center, then lifting my shirt for him and he looks at me, his eyes widening as I reveal my growing belly. I see the emotion well up in his eyes, a mix of joy, longing, and a touch of sadness. “Ale, you’re glowing,” he says, his voice hoarse, as if he is holding something back. “And look at that belly. Our baby is growing so much. You didn’t find out, right?”

I smile, rubbing the side of my belly. “Nope, I told the tech to turn the screen away if they need to check down there. So I have no idea.”

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