Page 37 of More Than a Little Spark

“You really made this date extra special.The barbecue was fantastic.The strawberries were amazing.But the best thing about today is the company.I’ve missed spending time with you.”

“Trying to keep my dating under wraps makes it hard to get away, and I apologize for that.”

“No need to apologize.We’ve both been busy.”She shifts closer to me.“Can I ask you a question?”

“Uh-oh.Questions that need an introductory question are usually hard or uncomfortable.”I make sure my tone conveys humor.“But yes.You may ask me anything.”

Trailing a finger along the back of my hand, she says, “You’ve talked about your sister and everything that happened, but you haven’t said much about your mom.Are you still in contact with her?”

“I’m not.”My mom isn’t something I talk about because saying it out loud dredges up pain.It’s a wound time hasn’t had much of an effect on.But talking to Daphne is like a balm, and I decide to share the story.“When I was seventeen, Mom got a new boyfriend.He was a lot like the others and didn’t like the fact that she had a kid.But one thing was different.He threw a punch at me one evening for eating the last slice of bread.I gathered my stuff and moved out that same night.”

Her jaw drops open.“Your mom just let you leave?She didn’t stop you?”

“She said it was probably for the best if I left.She wasn’t sober when she said it.Maybe later she regretted it, but I haven’t sought her out to ask.”

“Carson, I’m sorry.”

I stand and hold out my hand.“The area out here is pretty.Want to walk a bit?”

“Sure.”She slips her hand in mine.

We walk toward the creek, birds chirping, wind rustling.

“I think about my mom from time to time.Over the last few years, I’ve looked her up a few times, but when I did, it seemed like she was still having trouble.So I stayed away.Last I heard anything about her was when social services called regarding Fred.The social worker made a passing comment that Fred’s grandmother wasn’t a safe option.And I haven’t looked for my mom since then.More to protect Fred than to protect myself.”

“I’m sorry she wasn’t a good mom to you.And that she’s not a safe option for Fred.Not that I’d want him out of your life.That’s not what I mean.But it’s sad that she can’t be a grandma to him.You both deserve better.”

I give her hand a squeeze.“Once upon a time, I was pretty bitter about not having a good mom.But life goes on, and I sort of put those thoughts to the side.Then we moved out here to the ranch.Since coming here, Ava, Lilith, and Joji dote on me and Fred like we’re family.After all those years of wondering what it would’ve been like to have a mom that cared, I have that now.It’s kind of wild.Very unexpected.And Fred loves it.For a kid with no grandparents, he’s made out like a bandit here on the ranch.”

“That’s awesome.Rose has told me how amazing everyone at the ranch is.”

“They are.”

I step behind her as we get to the foot bridge.“Let’s cross here.”

“How old is this thing?I don’t want to get halfway across and drop into the water.It’s a bit too cold for that.”

“First of all, I wouldn’t intentionally put you in danger.The bridges are pretty new.Beau had them all built the year before last.Before that, people had to drive around to a different gate to access the other part of the ranch.”

“All right.I’ll trust you.”She reaches behind her and clasps my hand.“Do you have any questions for me?”

I’m still wondering how someone as stunning as Daphne is interested in a chubby guy like me, but I’ll table that question until later.“Do you want kids?”

She stops at the end of the bridge.“Is that a trick question?”

It takes me a half second to get on the same page.“I didn’t ask because of Fred.I’m curious because when someone spends years parenting siblings, they sometimes decide that they don’t really want to do that all over again.That’s why I asked.”

Hand in hand, we weave our way through the trees.

Daphne grazes her thumb across the side of my finger.“Even knowing how much work it takes, I would like to have children of my own.If it works out that way.What about you?”

“Before Fred moved in, I was mostly indifferent about the idea of kids.But now, I think I would like more.But I’d never want Fred to feel pushed out or replaced.”

“Obviously.He’s the one who made you a dad.”

“Right.I still get a funny feeling in my chest when he calls me that.”I stop beside a tree and wrap my arms around Daphne.“Thanks for taking the day off so that we could do this.”

“Are you kidding?This is a treat.”She shifts and looks up at me.“And I know the guys are covering so that you can be here.Tell them thanks for me.”

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