Page 56 of More Than a Little Spark

“I’m okay.How about you?Are you liking school?”

“Meh.”He crinkles his nose and flashes a smile.“Math is hard.English is boring, but history is cool.”

“Have you and Mason had any big adventures lately?”He glances at Carson, then looks back to me.“Yeah.Mason isn’t here tonight because he’s doing something with his mom and dad.And his sister.But soon, Mason and I are going to build a tree house.We have permission.We’re thinking that on the ground, we’ll have a fort, and then there will be stairs that go up into the tree.”

“That’ll be really cool.”

He grins.“Yep.”

This is the most talkative he’s ever been with me.And it hasn’t gone unnoticed by my friend because Rose has nudged me three times.I can’t look at her right now because I know there will be hope gleaming in her eyes, and I can’t go there.Fred is happy to talk to me because I am no longer dating his dad, uncle, or whatever.He tolerates me when I’m out of the picture.I will not hope that this is a shift.That my happily-ever-after is within my grasp.

He takes the lid off his cup of banana pudding.“I’m sorry to talk your ear off.You probably came to spend time with your friend.”He waves at Rose.“Hi.”

“You can talk as much as you want.”Rose points her fork at Fred.“You aren’t bothering us.Not one bit.”

Fred is chatty throughout the rest of dinner, and I enjoy the conversation.But I resist the temptation to glance at Carson to see his reaction to these events.I deserve a gold star for the amazing amount of willpower I used to keep from staring at Carson.

That night, I check my phone several times, wondering, hoping Carson might send me a message.Something simple, friendly.But no text ever pops up.I still manage to fall asleep, which only shows how far I’ve come.

For the last two weeks,Rose and I have rehashed that dinner repeatedly.All the talking hasn’t garnered us any revelations, and I’m tired of thinking about it.It was a dinner.Fred was nice.He doesn’t hate me.But he also doesn’t want me dating Carson.The fact that I can’t fathom what his reasons are doesn’t make them any less valid.I guess.

I even talked about it with my sister, but she didn’t have any advice.No one wants to blame a scared kid who grew up in an abusive environment.I get that.Totally.But none of that makes the situation any less awful.

After having dinner with my sister, I head home.Tomorrow is Friday, and I’m ready for the workweek to be over.

I shower, then get into pajamas.With my hair still wet, I crawl in bed.It’s kind of lame to be in bed at eight o’clock, but such is my life these days.I really should consider moving so that I can get a cat.I think it’s less lame to be in bed this early if you have a cat or two.Or eight.I think that’s the city’s legal limit.

After an hour of scrolling on my phone, I’m dozing.Then a text pops up.

Carson:Can you meet me at the donut shop tomorrow at 4?It’s important.

Me:Yes, of course.Have time to chat on the phone?

Carson:No.And don’t call or text me because I don’t want Fred to see.

I stare at the phone, confused.What is up with Carson?He sounds weird.This isn’t how he normally texts, and the whole thing about not calling or texting is strange.

Me:Okay.I’ll see you tomorrow.

He sends a thumbs-up.That part seems like Carson.

So much for sleeping.I’m going to spend all night wondering what he wants to talk about.If he asks about clandestine dating like we did at the beginning, I’m not sure what I’ll say.Now dating in secret would feel deceitful.I don’t want that.

I text Rose.

Me:Carson texted.He wants to meet tomorrow at 4 at Sweets.Slim on details, but I’ll update you tomorrow afternoon.

The phone rings.

“Tomorrow my foot.Did he change his mind?”She sounds way too excited.

I rein in my hopes.“Nothing in his texts indicated that.But if he wants to meet to say that he made the right choice when breaking up, at least I’ll be at the donut shop.”

“No you won’t.Sweets closes at two.Surely Carson knows that.”

“I guess not.We’ll just meet outside the shop, I guess.”

“Or you could call him and figure out a new meeting spot.”

---