Page 52 of More Than a Little Spark

Trying to lighten the mood, I tell Carson about my day.“Okay, I should warn you that this story is a little gross.And you may decide you don’t like me after hearing it.And that would be totally understandable.”

“Sounds ominous.”

“So I ordered coffee on the way into work.And because I’m lactose intolerant, I always order my stuff with oat milk.Everyone is safer on the road when I’m not driving around focusing solely on not soiling my car.”I stop when he shifts into park, then get out before he has a chance to open my door.

He laces his fingers with mine, and we walk toward the creek.“You’re lactose intolerant?But you talk about eating ice cream.A lot.”

“I love ice cream.And I eat it when I have time to live with the consequences.My morning commute is not the time for that.”

He chuckles.

“Anyway, I’m drinking my coffee without really noticing that it tasted way better than normal.But then my gut started talking to me.By the time I made it into the building, I was almost in panic mode.I needed a bathroom.But the restrooms on the first floor were locked.I didn’t have the luxury of time to ask why, so I got on the elevator and went up to the floor where I work.”I’m being a little extra dramatic with my telling because he looks like he needs the laugh.“I hurry into the ladies’ room, and every stall is taken.Every.Single.One.So I do what any woman moments from pooping their pants would do.I walk into the men’s room with a hand over my eyes and lock myself in a stall.And I made it just in time.”

“Were there any guys in the bathroom?”

“Based on the few shouts directed my way, I’d say yes.”

“Yikes.I’m sorry.”

“The worst part?When I walked out of the men’s room, I ran into my boss who was headed in.That’s how my day started out.”

He sighs.“Daphne, I’m sorry, but I don’t think what I’m here to say is going to make your day any better.”

I tug him to a stop and face him.“Talk to me, Carson.”

He pulls me to his chest like he did earlier.“These last ten months with you have been amazing.Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d meet someone like you.But I made a commitment when I adopted Fred, and it’s obvious that my dating is upsetting him.”

I swallow the lump in my throat.“I’ve tried to get him to like me.I’m sorry.”

He pulls back and shakes his head.“Don’t blame yourself.I don’t think it’s you.But these last few weeks, since the snake farm, he’s pulled away.Not just from me.And last night, he called me Uncle Car.”

Blinking, I will my tears to vaporize.“Oh, Carson.I’m sorry.”

Nodding his head, he pinches his lips, regaining his composure.“So like I said, I need to focus on Fred and being his dad even if it means giving up something I…” Gazing at me, he lets the sentence dangle.But the silence speaks volumes.After an inhale, he finishes.“Want.Something I really want.”

He may not have said the word love with his voice, but that’s what is in his gaze.And we both know that.I love him too, but this isn’t the time to tell him that.

“I understand.Your priorities are exactly what they should be.And I’m not mad at you or Fred.The poor kid finally has stability, and he’s afraid of losing it.I can’t blame him for that.”I rub Carson’s arm.“You’re amazing.You know that, right?”

“If I were amazing, I would’ve figured out a way to make everyone happy.”

“Sometimes that’s not possible.”

Raindrops slap the ground, and Carson grabs my hand.“We aren’t that far from the cabin.”

“Wait.Can we…” I’m thankful that the rain is masking my tears.“Can we share one last kiss?Something to remember me by.”

“There is a zero percent chance that I’ll ever forget you, Daphne.”

“Please let me pretend for a moment that the world is perfect.You know, like in those old movies where she kisses him as he’s shipping off to the war.”

“I’m not going to war.”An amused smile contrasts with the tears in his eyes.

“Are you sure?Because I’d heard that parenting teens can be brutal.”I rest my forehead on his chest.“I could wait for you.You know, until Fred grows up.”

He lifts my chin, desire blazing in his eyes.“You want a family.I won’t ask you to wait.I can’t do that.Go live your life.”

“As if I could ever find anyone like you.I’m going to miss you, Carson.So much.”

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