Page 16 of More Than a Little Spark

“Yes, but I wouldn’t trade them for donuts and a charger.”I lift an eyebrow, waiting for a reaction.

A smile cuts across his face.“I just thought maybe…”

“I’m not dating anyone.So please don’t rush out because of that.”

“Well, I really do need to get home soon.Fred has been hanging out with Mason all day, which is typical for a Sunday.But I need to get him home, make sure all his homework is done, and prep everything for tomorrow morning.”

“Mondays are no joke.”The comment is meant to be lighthearted, but I want him to know I understand.The circumstances are different, but I understand the work involved in taking on a parental role.

He eases into the chair beside the bed.“Yeah, I’ve learned that this year.But as we figure each other out, life gets easier.And I want you to know that the thing you don’t talk about is okay to talk about if you ever need to vent.”

I will not cry because of how sweet he’s being.So I take a bite of the potato salad.And we awkwardly sit quietly while I chew.

“It’s been nine years since I moved out.My relationship with my siblings, with the exception of my brother who is only a year younger, is distant.My mom says they feel like I abandoned them, but I don’t know.Maybe they resent me for telling them what to do when I lived at home.I’m not sure I trust what my mom says anyway.My relationship with her is very strained.Who knows what she’s telling them?She still seems mad that I moved out.”I sip my Dr Pepper, needing to wash the lump out of my throat.

“I’m sorry.”There is a kind understanding in his voice.

I wipe my eyes.“I’m embarrassing myself.Normally, I’m not this emotional.”Talking about that period of my life is hard, but something about Carson feels safe.I’m sure it’s because of him rescuing me.But I don’t need to spew all my conflicted thoughts about my mother.She thinks that because I’m single, there is no reason that I shouldn’t be living at home, helping her with rent, and taking care of my siblings.

Carson doesn’t need to know everything.But opening up is the only way he’ll get to know the real me.And I don’t show that side of myself to many people.

He hands me a tissue from the box across the room, then sits down again.“My sister was eight years older than me.And she was more like a mom than my actual mom.But when I was eleven, my mom and sister had a screaming match.I don’t know what it was about.Me, probably.But my sister left.”He stares at the wrinkles in the blanket.“And I never saw her again.”He meets my gaze.“You should never feel bad about taking care of yourself.My sister didn’t, and now she’s gone.”

“I’m so sorry, Carson.I can’t even imagine.If only more people were like you.”

“I’m not sure what you mean by that last part, but if you’re talking about adopting my nephew, it’s a completely different scenario.I’m an adult.My sister was a kid, who had no choice in the matter.Same as you.And that’s not right.”He checks the time.“I’m just all laughs tonight, huh?”

I want to tell Carson how amazing I think he is, but I’m trying not to rush things, so instead, I say, “Fred’s a lucky kid.”

He gives a slight head shake, then rubs his jaw.“I know how it feels to lose someone important.And I have the opportunity to make his life better than mine was.He’s a great kid.I don’t regret it.”

If we continue with this conversation, I’m going to start crying again, and I don’t want that.So I point at the closet.“Your coat is in there.Don’t forget it when you leave.”I wipe barbecue spices off my hand, then reach out.“I’m very glad we met even though the circumstances were crappy.”

“Me too.But I am sorry about your foot, your ribs, and your car.”Carson squeezes my hand.“I should probably go.Heal up quick, and if you need anything, you have my number.”

I should’ve kept my mouth shut about the coat and leaving.“I wasn’t saying that to run you off.”

“I know.”After putting on his coat, he steps closer to the bed.“And I meant what I said about if you need anything.The ranch isn’t that far away.”

“Thank you.”I open my arms, silently asking for a hug.

He leans in and gently wraps his arms around me.“Have a good night.”He steps toward the door, then stops.“You know how you don’t talk about certain things…”

“Your secret is safe with me, Carson.”

He gives a quick nod.“Thanks.I appreciate that.”

Chapter7

Carson

Carson

Walking up to Kent’s door, I know what to expect.Fred will look glum because he has to go home, and then for the rest of the evening, he’ll tell me all about what they did.

I spend most Sundays at the ranch and check in with him throughout the day.This weekend was different.He had his first sleepover at Mason’s, and I’ve only gotten quick answers when I’ve texted Fred.

Kent opens the door.“They’re over in the game room.I was just about to go get them.Parker was showing them a new game.”

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