Page 58 of Loved By Tandy

We’rebumping along the dirt roads, and Matthew points to my left. “Remember that tree?”

“Not really.”

“Picture it smaller and me next to it with a broken pocketknife.”

I turned to look back at the massive oak. “You carved our initials. Mostly. You only managed the MG, the plus, and the T before your knife snapped.”

“That was one crummy pocketknife.”

Memories flood back as his childhood home comes into view. He and I spent hours on the porch swing, talking. Then we’d sneak off just far enough away that we couldn’t be seen. But close enough that he could hear if his mom called out. And we’d kiss. I remember like it was yesterday.

“Seems like a lifetime ago.” Matthew rolls to a stop, then shifts into neutral and engages the clutch.

“It was, Matthew. You’ve had a whole life since I was here last, and so did I. And they were good.”

“They were very good. Come on. I’ll show you around inside.”

As we’re walking hand in hand, he clenches his jaw, and despite his efforts to fake a smile, I can tell he’s in pain.

“Hurting?”

“Huh?” He can pretend like he has no idea what I mean, but I’m not going to give up so easily. I’ll give him a reprieve and bother him about it again later.

The interior is very different from when Matthew lived here. When we get to his old bedroom, he nods toward the door. “Want to go in this way? Or should I dig out my ladder?”

“You aren’t funny.” I push open the door. Nothing looks the same, but I vividly remember how I felt that day, which is a reminder of why Matthew and I can share a house but nothing more. It’s not like I haven’t been vulnerable with others, but something about Matthew is different. His opinion matters to me, even after all these years. And right now, he likes me. I want it to stay that way.

“While you walk down memory lane, I’m going to step into the bathroom.” Matthew taps the doorframe, his jaw set. Pain is etched on his face. “I’ll be back.”

I continue walking through the house, and a half hour later, I tap on the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” His voice betrays his lie.

“Matthew, let me call a doctor.”

“No. I’ll meet you outside soon.” There is an edge to his voice I’ve never heard before.

Worried, I settle into the swing on the back porch. After more than an hour, he steps outside. He’s quiet. There is no twinkle in his eye, and he won’t make eye contact. Something is very wrong. But I’m not going to press him right now. Matthew is a big boy, and he’ll talk when he’s ready. Hopefully. Because my curiosity will consume me while I wait for him to share what’s bothering him.

The silence continues all the way back to the house.

“I need to run into town. Do you want to come with me?” If I ask a direct question, he might finally use his words.

“No, thanks. But I’ll see you later.” He kisses my forehead, then walks to his truck. “I’m going over to Matchmaker Ranch.”

That evening,I have meatloaf, potatoes, and green beans hot and ready when Matthew returns. “Smells good. Thanks for cooking.” He’s still not himself, but at least he’s talking.

“How are things at the ranch?”

“Coming along nicely.” He gets out dishes and sets two places at the table. “Was your day good?”

“It was. I met Lilith, Ava, and Joji at the donut shop. Then we shopped at Delaney’s store.”

“Good.” That’s all he says. No mention of Delaney and Eli. No questions about how Lilith, Ava, and Joji are doing. And most telling, no comments about lingerie.

I set the platter of food in the middle of the table. “I bought a couple of things.”

“Great.” He pulls out my chair like always, then heaps food onto his plate. “This smells good.”

---