Page 52 of In the Stars

My night is shattered when a heavy thud sounds in the room, and Kas starts cursing up a storm. “What the hell, you guys? We can hear the music down the block! Turn—What the fuck! Vic! Wake up, man! Wesley! Wesley, help!”

I’m snatched to wakefulness by the panic in his voice, so I surge to my feet, and I’m making my way over to Vic before I even give my body the command.

Then I freeze in my tracks.

Vic’s eyes are wide open, staring up at the ceiling with a glassy expression. Vomit coats his chin and the front of his shirt, his mouth gaping. There’s a small pool of blood behind his head, probably from where he toppled out of the chair and hit it on the ground since he couldn’t break his fall.

The worst part is the needle sticking from his arm, the plunger fully depressed.

“Fuck,” I cry out, dropping to my knees beside him. “What did you do, Vic? What did you do?”

I sit boltupright in bed, sweat dripping down my face, mingling with my tears. The nightmare was so vivid. That floaty feeling from doing the drugs, collapsing on the bed, waking up to seeing Vic’s face, the smell of his piss and vomit…guilt settling deep within me that it was somehow my fault. Too fucking vivid.

I frantically yank off the covers, scramble out of bed, and put on my workout clothes, needing to get out of my head.

Once I’m dressed, I rush to my fitness room and unfold my mat and sit atop it. I breathe in deeply through my nose and blow it out of my mouth, trying to calm my frayed nerves. I go through pose after pose, breathing and stretching, but nothing works. Not even the large window acrossfrom me that offers me a great view of the forest behind my house.

I keep thinking about Vic and why I didn’t take that heroin from him. The only answer that comes to me is fear. I was afraid that if I touched it I would turn into my mom. I thought I’d want to start shooting shit into my arms and letting men fuck me just to get a quick high. I wanted nothing to do with it, and because of that, one of my best friends used irresponsibly and paid the price.

I knew better than to let him keep those drugs on him, but I did, trusting he’d get rid of them like he said he would.

“Dammit!” I shout, dropping to my butt when warrior pose does nothing to calm my anxiety. I press the heels of my hands into my eyes until starbursts flash behind my lids. Fuck, this is hard. The weight of guilt is heavy. I have a lot of regret in my past, but besides how I treated Jaxon, not taking the drugs from Vic weighs on me the most.

Vic’s dad had already died when he overdosed, we had no clue where his mother was, and he had no siblings or other family that gave a fuck about him. He just had me, Mitch, and Kas.

And I’m the reason he’s dead.

I climb from the floor and snatch up my phone, dialing Mitch’s number. It’s four in the morning, but I can’t wait to talk to him. If I thought Kas would answer, I’d?—

“Wesley?” Mitch asks drowsily when he answers the video call. Behind him a woman with blonde hair snores loudly. It’s a wonder he was able to sleep with that chainsaw behind him.

A chuckle bubbles up my throat, and some of the unease leeches from me. “Sorry to call this late. I was…. I needed to talk to you.”

“All good, brother. What’s up?” The phone moves as ifhe’s getting out of bed, and the scenery behind him changes. He sighs when he sits on the couch. “You good?”

“No,” I answer truthfully. “Vic was on my mind… the night…”

Mitch looks somber as he nods. “Yeah, that was fucking brutal, man. Hold on, let me patch Kas in.”

I crack a smile that feels almost natural. “I’m surprised you and that fucker aren’t together now.”

“Nah, he went back home to see his girl. Hopefully he answers his phone.”

Thankfully, he does, and I’m greeted with his scowl of irritation. “This better be good,” he says in a gravelly voice tinged with sleep.

Guilt chokes me up again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. It’s not important.”

His expression morphs as he sits up. “You alright, man? If you need to talk?—”

Mitch cuts him off. “He was thinking about Vic.”

Kas hisses. “Fuck, he hasn’t crossed my mind in a while. I don’t like to think about him, you know? After how I found him. It really fucked me up.”

“It’s my fault,” bursts from my lips. “I should have?—”

“We’ve been over this,” Mitch says. “You gotta remember, we knew Vic longer and better than you, even though y’all were closer. He tended to do that shit a lot—saying he wouldn’t do something and end up doing it anyway. Unless you tied that fucker down, he would have found a way.”

Kas chimes in. “Once he set his mind to something, he was going to do it, with or without our approval. I hate to say it, but he probably would have snuck off to shoot up if he hadn’t tried it that night. And we might not have found him for days or weeks.”

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